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Windows

534 bytes added, 23 October
2019 backup, fuck you
{{quote|Well, it crashes on me about 50 times a day, but it's still better than a Mac.|Typical Microsoft Customer}}
'''Microsoft Windows''' is an operating system composed of herpes-inducing malware , produced and developed by the Microsoft Corporation in order to spy on the whole world. Windows is known for its wide appeal, attracting users from the [[nerd|most hardcore gamers]] who live a meaningless existence, to [[:File:Edsothegran.jpg|your grandmother]] who is too senile to know any better. Microsoft gives users a wide array of half-assed, broken [[dildos|tools]] and regular untested security [[viruses|updates]] that , written by slave-labour code monkey pajeets. These "feature updates" can be put to [[porn|all kinds of uses]], like permanently crashing your entire system. As it stands, Windows is a [[bullshit|very reliable]] OS, provided users don't have hang-ups about their computer crashing every five seconds, randomly deleting their files, murdering doxxing their wivesinformation, and catching fire (See: [[Hans Reiser]]).
==History==
[[Image:windowsbluescreen.jpg|thumb|right|250px|AT FULL FORCE]]
Microsoft was founded by [[Bill Gates]] and named after the size and shape of his penis (hence "Micro" and "soft"—the term cannot possibly apply to the software because ironically it is macro in size and hard to use) with the intention of a hostile overthrow of the PC market, starting first with the rape of [[DOS]]. The usability of Windows 3.1 ushered in the reign of our [[Illuminati]] masters as we know it today. Windows 3.1's success was due in large part to the killer app ''Solitaire'', since this program was simple enough to run without crashing, as long as nothing else was running at the same time. since Since their humble beginning, Microsoft products are often ridiculed for having [[spyware|security problems]], crashing [[over 9,000]] times a second and for , being bloated & slower than a dead turtle with a broken leg, Now, this never happens with [[Linux]].
Windows has remained the most bloated computer software since its conception, and succeeds at creating its [[Jew]] qualities. Chief competitors such as [[Apple|Fapple]] and [[Unix|Jewnix]] have failed to acquire a significant marketsharemarket share. The tagteam Especially the tag team Linux/Unix family of operating systems has failed to gain a significant foothold of its core constituency of [[You|people who don't get laid]]. Meanwhile, Apple ''has'' in recent years expanded out of its towards a new userbase of hardened [[Gay|gays]], [[hipsters]] and [[Liberals|useless people]]in the early 2000s, but has failed to mount a significant opposition. The [[Niggers|potentially vast resource]] of the [[Africa]] market, however, is yet to have been exploited by any of them. This may be because monkeys have no money, but the validity of such a claim has been questioned, as victims of [[white guilt]] believe the ''underlying'' reason for minorities having no money, is because they are swindled out of it by the [[white people|white man]].
The purported advantages [[Niggers|potentially vast resources]] of alternative operating systems of Linux is, like the [[AIDSAfrica]]market, however, freeare yet to be exploited by any of them. This may be because monkeys have no money and prefer to use pirated versions and / or bananas. The validity of such a claim has been questioned, as victims of [[Hipster|trendywhite guilt]] appeal of Macs believe the ''underlying'' reason for others "minorities" having no money, is because they are swindled out of similar it by the [[Gaywhite people|persuasionwhite man]], despite what any realistic basis they may have, it failed to capture a significant enough audience.
==Windows Statistics==*78% [[crap]], 21% [[rule 34]], 1% unknown*Has 10^8 fanboys.*Old versions like Windows 95, 98, and ME crash [[over 9,000]] times a '''SECOND'''. This was to prevent anyone from getting online to post about it.*However, the newer NT based version is a [[pretty cool guy]]... eh hogs system resources, while freezing, and doesn't afraid The purported advantages of anything.* It is quite nerfed alternative operating systems such as it requires only clicking a mouse.* <b><i>FACT:</i></b> In Windows Vista [[shit|MS PAINT]] uses 1,168,672KB of memory to run this piece of shit.* <b><i>FACT:</i></b> Microsoft uses MS Paint to make their box art and the graphics of their operating system.* [[Jews]] made Vista much slower so now Linux are that the entire world is entirely unproductive, this was believed to have been targeted at mainly like [[Americans|AmerifatsAIDS]], but has ended up pwning the entire planet.*Vistathey's main feature was that it [[Divide by zero|divides by zero]] once every hour. Vista then fucks off and blue screensre free.
==Amazing technology==The [[Image:WindowsReboot.jpgHipster|thumb|right|200px|[http://download558.mediafire.com/5h7km5av79lg/8cqwf7qa881dl49/madefreshbybigbillygates.bat "Thanks, Microsoft."trendy]]]Windows features amazing technology such as rebooting your computer. It even comes with appeal of Macs on the other hand works for similar-[[Shit nobody cares aboutGay|built-in fax supportminded]]! It also appeals people, despite the fact that they failed to capture a significant enough audience, closed-source and hardwired to completely overpriced and underpowered electronic dumpsters. Apple Inc. remains [[13-year-old boysprofit]] because it allows them able only thanks to make "viruses" that [[lieMacfag|don't replicate themselveshordes of dickless idiots]], change other users' passwords through who pay the double cash for [[Command LineZEN|command promptbland]] if they are running an administrator account; they are too , [[retardedLOL WUT|elitist]] to realize that they can already do it with a graphical user interface by using the fucking Control Panel, and messing cookie-cutter [[P-p-p-powerbook|laptops]] with Microsoft Samone button (other than keyboard/trackpad). After all, who cares about blind people being able to use computers when you can make a robot say, "I suck cocks"?
Windows also comes with a [[Notepad|text editor]] that only supports Windows \r\n newlines and fucks up reading text files made Now, none of this ever happens with any other operating system and a [[MS Paint|graphics editor]] that doesn't support alpha transparent PNG images, [[GIF|animated GIFsLinux]], or even something as simple as layersbecause nobody uses it.{{Clear}}
==The Anti-Windows Movement==
[[Image:NazisoftVindowsSupreme.png|thumb|left|200px|The [[White Man]]'s choice of OS]]
This movement is largely led by Linux users and other [[Apple|retards]] who think Windows is the [[irony|shittiest operating system ever]]. Little do they realize that making fun of Windows ME's constant crashing became a worn out joke a long time ago. The up-to-date joke being the fact that Windows catches more strains of viruses than a nymphomaniac [[Whore|prostitute]] does. The fact is that Windows XP is a piece of shit, literally fecal matter. Fags actually sit around waiting for someone to tell them all this so they can argue about it for hours and hours.
[[Some Argue|Some people]] have hypothesized that ==Windows is an illegal monopoly, but M$ has proven time and time again that it isn't, namely by bundling their own web browser, multimedia program and more recently an [[shit|exceptional]] security system along with their OS. Versions==
'''UPDATE:'''Today Microsoft makes most of its monies from [[Android]] phone royalties and has replaced innovation with litigation.
In addition Most people try to forget the numerous positive attributes of Microsoft pain and suffering Windowshas brought to them, OS X and Linux have shit games, and as everyone knows, games are the [[porn|primary reason]] anybody uses by hiding it under a computer. Games, being the hobby blanket of only [[nerds|roaringly heterosexual successful employed white men]], are a necessary past time for all normal people"''nostalgia"''. This accounts for Window's incredible popularity and customer loyaltyWe at ED do not.{{Clear}}
==Plagiarism, the sincerest form of faggotry==
Microsoft, always known for originality equaling the talents of top [[DA]] [[trace]]rs, has been content to ride the coattails of other, [[lamer|cooler]] OS manufacturers. Here's some of the more blatant examples:<br/>===Windows XP===
===Zune==={{main|Zune}} ===Vista===[[ImageFile:Windows_White_screen_of_DeathOh-shit-spyware-windows-xp-4chan.pngjpg|thumb|right|250px|Typical Windows error messageYour average installation]] Apple, Inc remains [[profit]]able only thanks to [[MacfagFile:DinduXP.jpg|hordes of dickless idiots]] who pay double cash for [[ZENthumb|blandright]], [[LOL WUTWindows XP Performance|elitistWindows XP]], cookie-cutter came out [[P-p-p-powerbook9/11|laptopslast Tuesday]] with one button (other than keyboard/trackpad).<br/> <br/>Thusand like everything Microsoft, an operating system as lame as took [[Mac OS Xforever|OSSuxa while]] was born, something that was thought impossible by industry expertsto mature.<br/>It’s [[tracing|just like Now it]]'s fairly stable, too! All windows have rounded corners, the browser has tabs, everything is shiny like a if somewhat outdated. But [[gayfaggots|man slathered with Vaselinesome people]], and you can do that cool Exposé thing (if you have 8GB of RAM, don't seem to mind using an archaic OS that is).<br/><br/>Easy trollage: Vista/OSX similarity is a [[hot topic]] shipped with [[slavesWeb 1.0|fanboys]] on both sides; they will be [[ALL CAPS|screamingMSN Explorer]] and support for your blood should you suggest that their beloved OS is not [[original contentfloppy disk|originalfloppy drives]].<br/>{{Clear}} ===[[Seinfeld]]They were convinced at one point that someday, with a dash Microsoft will see the error of memetology===You saw this coming, folks: the its ways and [[old_mediaunrealistic expectations|sit-cum]] [http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/2007/10/28/2007-10-28_jerry_seinfeld_goes_from_sitcom_king_to_.html king] throw away several years of development to Vista and known [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoshanna_Lonstein ephebophile] (he’s a [http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/05_01/beeBIG1805_468x600.jpg furry] Windows 7 and a [[Jew]]) was destined return to team up with the [[shit2001]] that is Microsoft. The immensely They have likely installed [[unfunny|wittyRainmeter]] and [[Internet celebrity|popular]] [[Mac#Videos|“Hello, I’m at a Mac"]] commercials were just too good not to copycat. Enter “[[pedo|Jerry]] kernel level and [[nerd|Bill]] try cannot upgrade or they will lose access to fit in with [[poor|normal]] people” spots. Hated by one and all, the campaign was halted after two ads, with the spin being that it’s of their [[lieloli|always been planned that waydata]], and “ordinary people” ads were not a complete rip off of [[Apple]]'s advertising. Using an "incredibly funny" and "popular" comedian wasn’t enough for Microsoftwhich is encrypted, though. Like an [[pedo|mature gentleman]] adopting [[Internets English|hipster talk]] to fit in with the [[jailbait|young’in’s]], Microshaft hijacked and forever sullied a respectable [[meme]] in the shoe store ad. {{quote|...are they ever gonna come out with something so that will make our computers moist and chewy, like their [[cake]]...?your mom| Jerry, being a Kewl Kid}} [[Image:Vista delicious.jpg|thumb|center|300px|Bill Gaytes knows his memes.mom]] '''''FACT:''''' This ad campaign cost [http://www.appleinsider.com/articles/08/09/18/microsofts_300_million_ad_campaign_tumbles_with_new_pc_ads.html 300 Million Jewgold], 10 of which went to Seinfeld for the two ads.<br/>Sometimes, being the richest TV actor in history with rerun syndication on five continents just [[Co$|isncan't enough]].<br/>Now you know why get it costs you $35 to make a Windows support call to Raju in [[India|Bangalore]].
==While most people who have a [[job]] and crazy shit like that have moved on to Windows 7, if not 10, there are still legions of [[unemployed]] [[Aspies]] who insist on tweaking their Windows XP=="rigs" instead of doing more productive stuff like looking for a job, [[masturbating]], or actually pretending like this is the [[2010s]].
There are those who are yet more faggy and install [[File:Oh-shit-spywareVTEC|64-windows-xp-4chan.jpg|thumb|right|Your average installation]][[File:DinduXP.jpg|thumb|rightbit]][[Windows XP Performance|Windows XP]] came out [[9/11| Last Tuesday]] and like everything , despite that it was minimally supported by Microsoft. There are few, took if any, drivers or applications that use the [[over 9000|a whileawesome]] power of 64 bit to mature. Now itdouble the size of every pointer, but don's fairly stable, if somewhat outdated. But t tell any of these faggots that they are [[faggotsdying alone|some peoplewasting their lives]] don't seem to mind using on an outdated, shitty operating system from a decade+ old OS shitty company. Some retards claim that shipped Windows XP is still usable in {{CURRENTYEAR}}. These people are diagnosed with [[Web 1.0High Functioning Autism|MSN Explorerautism]] and support for [[floppy disk|floppy drives]]their primitive rigs are constantly targeted by all the malware in the book. As of 2017, up to 5% of the world, easily around 300 million people, and are convinced that somedaystill fucking using XP; granted, Microsoft will see they're usually poorfags from the error of its ways third world or disgruntled employees and [[unrealistic expectationsschool|throw away four years of development to Vista and Windows 7 and return to 2001students]]. They have likely installed [[Rainmeter]] at a kernel level and cannot upgrade who are stuck with XP, since their companies or they will lose access schools are way too lazy to all of their [[loli]]buy a modern OS, which is encrypted so that then complain about having to pay their [[your mom|mom]] can't get itIT guys overtime all the damn time.
While most people who have a [[job]] and crazy shit like '''XP Nostalgia'''Fun Fact: Windows XP is so old now that have moved on to Windows 7, if not 10, there are still legions of [[unemployed]] [[Aspies]] who insist on tweaking their Windows XP "rigs" instead of doing more productive stuff like looking for it was a jobfemale, [[masturbating]], or actually pretending like this is it could soon hit the [[2010s]]wall. There are those who are yet more faggy and install [[VTEC|64-bit]] Windows XP, despite it being minimally supported by Microsoft. There are few if any drivers or applications It is only natural that use the there would be a strong sense of [[awesomenostalgia]] power of 64 bit to double and saudade over the size of every pointer, but don't tell these faggots (any of them) that they are [[dying alone|wasting their lives]] on an outdated shitty operating system from OS being over a shitty company. Retards claim that windows XP is still usable in [[the current year]]. These people are diagnosed with [[High Functioning Autism|Autism]] decade and their primitive rigs are constantly targeted by all the malware in the book. Still, up to 5% of the world, easily around 300 million people, are still fucking using XP; granted, they're usually poorfags from the third world or disgruntled employees who are stuck with XP since their companies are way too lazy to buy a modern OS, then complain about having to pay their IT guys overtime all the damn timehalf old.
===XP Nostalgia===
Fun Fact: Windows XP is so old now that if it was a female, you could have consensual sex with her in most of the world without getting v&, except in shithole countries like the USA. It is only natural that there would be a strong sense of [[nostalgia]] and saudade over the OS being over a decade and a half old.
{| style="margin: 0 auto"
|<youtube>npTC6b5-yvM</youtube> <br> <center>'''Secret game for XP, delete sys32 for it'''</center>
|<youtube>yX8yrOAjfKM</youtube> <br> <center>'''Collegehumor jews their idea'''</center>
|<youtube>0sxb1Em9ruc</youtube> <br> <center>'''Some teenager destroys a windows XP VM and eventually makes a career out of it'''</center>
}}|border=#000000|background=#FFFFFF}}
|}
</gallery></center>
 ===Windows Vista Technology===[[Image:Windows_White_screen_of_Death.png|thumb|right|250px|Typical Windows error message]] What happens when you try to combine the bug-ridden bloated-ness of a Microsoft operating system with the overdesigned aesthetics of an Apple product? A feat that was thought to be impossible by industry experts. Windows Vista was an unfinished, rushed-out, bloated and beautiful pile of shit. It took several service packs before it became an okay-to-use OS. But by that time the OS was already despised and Windows 7 was right around the corner. It looks just [[tracing|just like]] Mac OS X! All windows have rounded corners, the browser has tabs, everything is shiny like a [[gay|man slathered with vaseline]], and you can do that cool exposé thing (if you have 4GB of RAM, that is). The Vista / OSX similarity was a [[hot topic]] with [[slaves|fanboys]] on both sides; they were [[ALL CAPS|screaming]] for your blood should you suggest that their beloved OS is not [[original content|original]]. * <b><i>FACT:</i></b> Everyone nowadays calls Windows Vista the worst operating system ever, but only because most of the millenials that write such nonsense never experienced Windows ME in a real work environment. It was already dead the moment Windows XP came out. * [[Jews]] made Vista much slower, causing the entire world to become unproductive. This insidious action was believed to target mainly [[Americans|Amerifats]], but has ended up pwning the entire planet. *Vista's main feature was that it [[Divide by zero|divides by zero]] once every hour. Vista then decided to fuck off and blue screen itself.  '''Vista technology'''
[[Image:Windows Vista.jpg|thumb|right|175px|zomg [[torrent]] plz![[oneoneone|111]]]]
[[Image:VISTA.jpg|thumb|right|175px|LOL]]
[[wut|Windows Vista is the next generation in technology]]. It was developed using the legendary [[Computer Science III]] library system and used the DRAIN graphical API to suck the shit right out of your graphics card's asshole.
===Advanced n00b Protection Technology===
With Windows Vista, [[n00b|n00bs]] will no longer be able to steal your [[CP|personal information]]. As part of this new technology, Windows Vista now includes a reading test in order to be able to use the computer. [[n00b|n00bs]], [[camwhores]], and [[furfags]] can't read, of course, and they will fail the test and not be able to login keeping your data secure.
'''Now Incompatibility monitor''' The [[Forever Alone|incompatibility]] monitor ensures that something in Betayour computer [[fail|won't work]] with Vista. Incompatibility monitor checks to make sure that everything on your computer is responding to the operating system, and if everything is working, incompatibility monitor is designed to pick the one thing you use the most and make it stop working. The incompatibility monitor runs twenty-four hours a day, even when you think you've shut off your computer, and is unable to be uninstalled.  '':'User Account Control''' User Account Control (UAC) is an application Microsoft put into Windows Vista Service Pack 938439 now includes Jew as a new feature. It was Microsoft's way to keep the viruses you get from watching lolita porn from messing up your computer. The way it works is simple, yet annoying. Everytime you run an application it asks if you are sure you want to run it and Muslim lockoutsthen it tells you that it may fuck up your computer. If you say yes, it will ask you another question that looks different, but is the same basic question. Thus, protecting your computer from [[you]]rself, before fucking it up.The login box most ironic thing about UAC is now adorned with jpegs of bacon the fact that Windows is the world's biggest computer virus in itself, and pork chopsit is rather amusing to think that a Virus protects itself against other viruses. In the end this feature caused so much drama that Microsoft toned it down in future versions, which frighten and disgust them and prevent their logging but also made it scarier inWindows 10 (full screen pop-up warnings).
An optional driver allows additional security where the would-be thief must deposit a quarter into the machine before usage, instantly repelling all Jews. This also is effective in repelling [[99%]] of third-world users because they are too poor to spare a quarter.
===Incompatibility Monitor=== The '''Aero Glass [[Forever Alone|incompatibilityFaggotry]] monitor ensures that something in your computer [[fail|won't work]] with Vista. Incompatibility monitor checks to make sure that everything on your computer is responding to the operating system, and if everything is working, incompatibility monitor is designed to pick the one thing you use the most and make it stop working. The incompatibility monitor runs twenty-four hours a day, even when you think you've shut off your computer, and is unable to be uninstalled.'
===User account Control=== User Account Control (UAC) is an application Microsoft put into Windows Vista. It was Microsoft's way to keep the viruses you get from watching lolita porn from messing up your computer. The way it works is simple yet annoying. Everytime you run an application it asks if you are sure you want to run it and then it tells you that it may fuck up your computer. if you say yes, it will ask you another question that looks different, but is the same basic question. Thus, protecting your computer from [[you]], before fucking it up. The most ironic thing about UAC is the fact that Windows is the world's biggest computer virus in itself, and it is rather amusing to think that a Virus protects itself against other viruses.===Aero Glass [[Faggotry]]=== A completely useless and now abandoned feature that Microsoft claims claimed is innovative. Now you can sort of see through the window panes to the other window panes behind them, but it's slightly blurred so you actually cannot see anything behind the window. It drains power from your GPU to function properly and may even cause display crashes that reset the Windows visuals back to basic. Sounds confusing? That's the way we like it here at Microsoft.
<youtube>pL5pA4qY7jc</youtube> ||}}</center>
=='''VISTA [[FAQ]]=='''
*'''Q: Is it safer?'''
<br />
"YES" - [[Bill Gates]].
==='''[[fail|Windows 7/Vista]] remote (sort of) SMB 2.0 malformed protocol version handshake ruin==='''
SRV2.SYS fails to handle malformed SMB headers for the NEGOTIATE PROTOCOL REQUEST functionality.
It seizes up their shit and crashes the OS instantly. It hasn't been patched yet. GO-GO-GO (Disclaimer: [[script_kiddie|I did not discover this]])
[http://wwwarchive.procyonlabs.com/softwarefo/smb2_bsoder Q0fHr A Java Version if your python IDE is shitty because you use Windows]
 === Upgrading to Windows 7 ===
<!-- [[Image:loading....jpg|right|thumb|They upgraded the loading screen. It now looks like this]] -->
[[File:Windows-7 o 132590.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Windows7space.jpeg|center]]
==Windows 7 was my idea==is basically service pack 3 of Windows Vista, with a less vibrant design. Since most people now had computers that were powerful enough to run Vista by the year 2009, they all ate it up, leaving Vista behind.
*You know how when your network adapter isn't working, you try troubleshooting and it suggests that you try remote assistance? That was my idea.
 *The lack of blue screens in 7? That was MY idea. Wait, you're getting Blue Screens blue screens in 7? Your idea, not mine. 
*You know the inability to view [[GIF|animated gifs]] without some [[Ubuntu|shitty]] [[Open Source|3rd party]] program? That was my idea.
 
==Windows 8==
 
[[Last Thursday]], Microsoft CEO [[Steve Ballmer|Steve Sweaty Bollocks ballmer]] unveiled the newest version of Windows, the aptly named Windows 8. This news was initially met with jubilant cheers by the masses until they saw...
[[File:Win8chrome1.jpg|Fisher-Price OS|frame|center]]
 
[[File:Hipster windows.jpeg|thumb|right]]
Having carefully studied Apple's success with the [[iPad]] and [[iPhone]], Ballmer logically deduced that the future of computing lay in full-screen, single-tasking "apps" that would provide a unified user experience across phones, tablets, and high-end desktops. Inspired by Microsoft's last successful full screen, single task-switching OS, he ordered his engineers to rewrite [[DOS|MS-DOS 5]] for .NET with new [[gay|METRO]] aesthetics. In a bold move, Ballmer then personally force-raped METRO to [[Windows 7]] to spawn Windows 8, an act against [[God]], Naturenature, and [[Steve Jobs]] that precipitated a mass defection of Microsoft developers to [[Google|marginally less evil corporations]].
[[Image:hojo-aeris-crop.jpg|thumb|[[Bestiality|Ballmer supervises the creation of Windows 8. Note the bestial lust of the Windows 7 kernel at the sight of a new, virginal UI.]]]]
Dubbing it the Metro UI, Microsoft was banking on this version of Windows securing to secure their 90% market share and put a ding in [[iPad]] sales. Much to Ballmer's disappointment, many desktop and enterprise users could not understand his genius in allowing them to run Windows Phone 7 on their eight-core desktops:
<center>
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210pxauto;|font-weight: bold;
|Disjointed is the key word that comes to mind after you spend some time with Windows 8. As a tablet OS, if you can keep in Metro land, things feel good. Very good. The gestures are a bit more complex and less intuitive than we've seen on other tablet operating systems, but more savvy users will appreciate that. That said, Windows is still primarily a desktop operating system, and once you get to that level the cracks in the foundation start to show.|[http://www.engadget.com/2012/02/29/microsoft-windows-8-consumer-preview-detailed-impressions/ Engadget] is a huge fan
</center>
With this version of Windows, Microsoft anticipated a lull in new PC sales. This was what happened with [[shit|Vista]] that launched to boost the decline in hardware sales in 2009. Of course, many current Windows 7 users saw right through this bullshit and have opted to keep Windows 7 or XP until Microsoft unfucks Windows 8. Others, meanwhile, have decided to abandon ship and move over to [[OS X]] or [[Linux]], because [[unrealistic expectations|that'll show those greedy nerds in Redmond who's boss]]. If only Microsoft had kept improving Windows 7, a stalled attempt at fixing Vista, right?
With this version of Windows, Microsoft anticipated a lull in new PC sales. This was what happened with [[shit|Vista]], which launched to boost the decline in hardware sales in 2009. Of course, many current Windows 7 users saw right through this bullshit and have opted to keep Windows 7 or XP until Microsoft unfucks Windows 8. Others, meanwhile, decided to abandon ship and move over to [[OS X]] or [[Linux]], because [[unrealistic expectations|that'll show those greedy nerds in Redmond who's boss]]. If only Microsoft had kept improving Windows 7, a stalled attempt at fixing Vista, right?
 
On a sidenote, the Metro UI name later had to be dropped by Microsoft, because a German shopping mall with the name Metro sued them.
<center>[[File:Aolwin8.jpg]]</center>
 
== Windows 8.1 ==
[[File:Something happened.png|thumb|Something happened]]
After the clusterfuck that was Windows 8 and it's half assed 8.1 update , Microshit decided to [[LOLWUT|skip 9 and call the new OS Windows 10]]. The start menu has returned in it's a sort-of Windows 7 form , but it's also been paired with the METRO UI designed by underpaid [[college]] graduates. The old METRO UI can be brought back for [[nobody|those that give a fuck]]. Alot A lot of [[basement dwellers|people]] have been paranoid over Microsoft [[NSA|asking for your personal information]] "to make the experience better" and that [https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10053420 Every every 30 minutes Windows 10 sends all typed text to Microsoft], in fear that the government might look into their files and find their huge collection of [[My Little Pony|horse porn]], despite the fact that they've always been spying on you in some form, the . The information collecting was mostly for feedback purposes in . In the Beta beta certain screenshots that resulted in their [[rage]] in the first place, and it can be easily disabled easily by following a few simple steps. The best feature about Windows 10 is the ability to roll back to Windows 7 or 8, but like the cunts that Microsoft are, you only have month before they nuke your backup.
<center><gallery>
File:Windows10.png|A perfect example of merging shit that worked with shit that didn't.
</gallery></center>
 
{{Clear}}
 
==Amazing technology==
[[Image:WindowsReboot.jpg|thumb|right|200px|[http://download558.mediafire.com/5h7km5av79lg/8cqwf7qa881dl49/madefreshbybigbillygates.bat "Thanks, Microsoft."]]]
Windows features amazing technology such as rebooting your computer. It even comes with [[Shit nobody cares about|built-in fax support]]! It also appeals to [[13-year-old boys]] because it allows them to make "viruses" that [[lie|don't replicate themselves]], change other users' passwords through the [[Command Line|command prompt]] if they are running an administrator account; they are too [[retarded]] to realize that they can already do it with a graphical user interface by using the fucking Control Panel, and messing with Microsoft Sam. After all, who cares about blind people being able to use computers when you can make a robot say, "I suck cocks"?
 
Windows also comes with a [[Notepad|text editor]] that only supports Windows \r\n newlines and fucks up reading text files made with any other operating system and a [[MS Paint|graphics editor]] that doesn't support alpha transparent PNG images, [[GIF|animated GIFs]], or even something as simple as layers.
{{Clear}}
 
==The Anti-Windows Movement==
[[Image:Nazisoft_Vindows_ZP.png|thumb|left|200px|The [[White Man]]'s choice of OS]]
This movement is largely led by Linux users and other [[Apple|retards]] who think Windows is the [[irony|shittiest operating system ever]]. Little do they realize that making fun of Windows ME's constant crashing became a worn out joke a long time ago. The up-to-date joke being the fact that Windows catches more strains of viruses than a nymphomaniac [[Whore|prostitute]] does. The fact is that Windows XP and above are pieces of shit, literally fecal matter. Fags actually sit around waiting for someone to tell them all this, so they have a chance to argue about it for hours and hours.
 
[[Some Argue|Some people]] have hypothesized that Windows is an illegal monopoly, but M$ has proven time and time again that it isn't, namely by bundling their own web browser, multimedia program and more recently an [[shit|exceptional]] security system along with their OS. Today Microsoft makes most of its monies from [[Android]] phone royalties and has replaced innovation with litigation.
 
In addition to the numerous positive attributes of Microsoft Windows, OS X and Linux have a pitiful choice of games and have to rely on emulation or [[Steam]] to fix this problem. As everyone knows, games are the [[porn|primary reason]] anybody uses a computer. Games, being the hobby of only [[nerds|roaringly heterosexual successful employed white men]], are a necessary past time for all normal people. This accounts for Windows's incredible popularity and customer loyalty.
{{Clear}}
 
==Plagiarism, the sincerest form of faggotry==
 
Microsoft, always known for originality equaling the talents of top [[DA]] [[trace]]rs, has been content to ride the coattails of other, [[lamer|cooler]] OS manufacturers. Here's some of the more blatant examples:<br/>
 
===Zune===
 
A pathetic attempt at copying the Apple iPod.
 
{{main|Zune}}
 
 
===[[Seinfeld]], with a dash of memetology===
You saw this coming, folks: the [[old_media|sit-cum]] [http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/2007/10/28/2007-10-28_jerry_seinfeld_goes_from_sitcom_king_to_.html king] and known [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoshanna_Lonstein ephebophile] (he’s a [http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/05_01/beeBIG1805_468x600.jpg furry] and a [[Jew]]) was destined to team up with the [[shit]] that is Microsoft. The immensely [[unfunny|witty]] and [[Internet celebrity|popular]] [[Mac#Videos|“Hello, I’m a Mac"]] commercials were just too good not to copycat. Enter “[[pedo|Jerry]] and [[nerd|Bill]] try to fit in with [[poor|normal]] people” spots. Hated by one and all, the campaign was halted after two ads, with the spin being that it’s [[lie|always been planned that way]], and “ordinary people” ads were not a complete rip off of [[Apple]]'s advertising. Using an "incredibly funny" and "popular" comedian wasn’t enough for Microsoft, though. Like an [[pedo|mature gentleman]] adopting [[Internets English|hipster talk]] to fit in with the [[jailbait|young’in’s]], Microshaft hijacked and forever sullied a respectable [[meme]] in the shoe store ad.
 
{{quote|...are they ever gonna come out with something that will make our computers moist and chewy, like [[cake]]...?| Jerry, being a Kewl Kid}}
 
[[Image:Vista delicious.jpg|thumb|center|300px|Bill Gaytes knows his memes.]]
 
'''''FACT:''''' This ad campaign cost [http://www.appleinsider.com/articles/08/09/18/microsofts_300_million_ad_campaign_tumbles_with_new_pc_ads.html 300 Million Jewgold], 10 of which went to Seinfeld for the two ads.<br/>
Sometimes, being the richest TV actor in history with rerun syndication on five continents just [[Co$|isn't enough]].<br/>
Now you know why it costs you $35 to make a Windows support call to Raju in [[India|Bangalore]].
 
==.NET Framework==
==Gallery==
{{cg|Windows Gallery|Windows GalleryWindowsGallery|center|<gallery>
File:Macfagswinfagslinuxfags.jpg|Comparisons with other OSes.
Image:Windows_problems_forum.jpg|Typical Windows Forum [[LOL]]
File:Windows Vista - a whore..JPG
File:Computer timesink.gif|Windows 98 has a great range of programs
File:Xp fatal error.jpg
File:Ms knows.jpg
File:MS Clinic.jpg
File:Windows.jpg
</gallery>}}
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