Sperm Donation

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A costly, but precious commodity.

Every year, thousands of individuals and couples find that they cannot conceive children. This sad fact of life is nothing new; mankind has faced infertility since the dawn of time. In recent decades, this common tragedy has given way to new hope as fertility clinics and Sperm™ banks are now accepting Sperm™ Donation from just about anybody. It’s a huge industry that claims over 2 billion dollars per year in annual revenue.

Where do you fit into this? How can you cash in on this burgeoning industry and also make a difference in the lives of of those who wish to bring a happy child into the world? The process is quite simple. It is a series of sessions at a Sperm™ bank followed by testing to determine the quality of Sperm™ that is produced. But enough of that, you want to know just what you will get out of all this when you hop aboard the gravy train! Check the chart below.

Sperm™ Donation Pricing

Sperm Bank Number of Donations Allowed Payment Per Donation
Obstetrics Solutions of Cleveland 1-12 over 12 month period $1.00 to $200.00 per visit
Andrology/Embryology Specialists of Guam 1-10 $1.00 to $200.00 per visit
CryoChild and Welfare Services 24 visits over 24 month period Tree Fiddy
Alternative Fertility Solutions 1-10 $45.00 to $300.00 depending on quality
Choices Donations of Detroit Walk in customers are welcome! Tree Fiddy
Great Lakes Cryobank 1-10 $45.00 to $300.00 depending on quality
Northeast Andrology & Cryobank 24 visits over 24 month period $45.00 to $300.00 depending on quality
Reproductive Resources Inc 24 visits over 24 month period $45.00 to $300.00 depending on quality
Urban Pregnancy Solutions of Harlem Walk in customers are welcome! Tree Fiddy
Sperm and Embryo Specialists, LLC 24 visits over 24 month period $45.00 to $300.00 depending on quality
Michigan Reproductive Specialists 1-10 $1.00 to $200.00 per visit
Repro-Outreach of Illinois 24 visits over 24 month period $45.00 to $300.00 depending on quality

Making Sense of this Chart

Check your spunk for Sperm™

Notice those prices there in the right hand column? Now, slowly take a look down at the floor next to your computer table. See that wank-sock or wadded up ball of tissues there? Please use this online application to tally up just how much that wad of paper towels is worth. If your tally reaches or exceeds the $8000.00 dollar mark, you are certainly Encyclopedia Dramatica material.

Warning: sitting with your laptop cradled in your crotch for 16 hours a day while you shovel down bag after bag of Doritos and guzzle gallons of soda is not only unhealthy for Sperm™, it can kill it.


I don't use wank socks, I use tissues that I flush down...SO MUCH MONEY GONE DOWN THE DRAIN


—Beefcake is doing it wrong.

See Also

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