From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Spics, also known as beaners, wetbacks, Mexicans, lawn mowers, and cleaning lady are the product of greasy and horny Spaniards raping the retarded spear-chucking natives that inhabited what is today Mexico. Spics can be identified by their diarrhea colored skin, refusal to speak English, unkempt appearance, and foul body odor. For many centuries this cesspool of subhuman genetic material was confined to Mexico, but recent promises of no taxes, free welfare, foodstamps, and voting rights by President Obama have caused a massive migration of bean-eaters into the United States. Although many Americunts hoped that these new immigrants could provide a cheap source of labor, they were unaware that instructing a spic to do any kind of work only agitates them into yells of "no speak Ingles", sleeping on the job, and seeking free medical care. Spics also pose a serious liability to any community, because like niggers they engage in widespread crime, gang violence, and sell shitty Mexican dank.
Physiology and Morphology
Spics' bodies are generally considered to be an abomination of the human form. They are short, stubby, useless hunks of flesh and bone which are wrapped in a disgusting shit-brown elastic substance.
The Spic genus shares many aspects with numerous other animals that somewhat resemble their evolutionary pathways. The sandnigger, for instance, shares a strong resemblance to the beaner: both smell like and are the color of shit and are prone to terrorism. However, the fundamental restrictions of Islam and hot desert sands can be faulted for sandnigger violence, whereas the spic is just naturally hostile. Likewise, the earthworm is a simple creature which only has the objective to consume and breed. Spics are quite similar to this creature with the only difference being that while the earthworm may be useful for creating soil nutrients, beaners are useful for nothing but mowing lawns.
The spic is a suborder of canine. While it shares many of the negative traits, it lacks positive traits like intelligence and loyalty.
|Loud barking for no reason||X||X|
|Travel in packs||X||X|
|Loiter in the streets||X||X|
|Can be trained||X|
|Is loyal to its master||X|
Spics' ancestors include horny Spanish conquistadors (mostly convicts and expendable retards), Iberian gypsies and Sephardim (hence the penchant for theft and deception), various and sundry animals, and a legion of extremely primitive spider/monkey humanoids who ran nude through the forests. This is to be truth since present-day beaners share so many characteristics with said insect family.
The latest mutagen of the Spic species, known as both the "Border Jumper" and the more fitting "Illegal Alien," has finally consumed all the available produce and nutrients in its once-lush and beautiful jungle homeland of Mexico. This event has pushed the insidious plague further north into the peopled lands of the USA and Canada.
Like smallpox and AIDS before it, the Spics have already begun devastating large numbers of human-controlled cities, turning the once decent and white neighborhoods into desolate wastelands. Unlike AIDS, however, there is no current evidence that black people are the cause of the infection.
Today, spics carry on a proud tradition of being slaves to their white masters. This has been a most fortunate thing for business, which has suffered since Abe "Hitler" Lincoln said people couldn't own niggers anymore. Most of them make tolerable cooks (if you don't mind Mexican lungbutter in your menudo, that is), landscapers, or basic manual laborers. While rednecks, niggers, and chinks can perform the same lowly tasks with far better results, each would demand a liveable human wage along with insurance, overtime, paid vacation time, etc.; hence the desire for dirt-poor wetback labor which does not comprehend the value of a green card. W, in yet another fail move of his insane presidential strategy, started to call attention to the over 9000 spics crawling across the border like army ants. This angered many of his rich white buddies, whose labor forces consist almost entirely of spics. Had the president left everything alone, the cycle of life would have remained in balance, since spics tend to die in huge numbers when working around heavy machinery, due to a penchant for drugs and alcohol.
A spic holding a shovel is called a Mexican dragline.
Types Of Spics
- Ugly Mexicans, Mexicans are fucking ugly end of story
- Fat proud spickettes, the fat Mexican bitches that go around wearing tight clothes and fuck everything that moves.
- Chents, A low down dirty jobless piece of shit that rides around on a stolen bike and wears clothes reminiscent to what was "hip hop " in the 90's main ambition in life is to bang a 14 year old honduranian skank and leave her with three spiclets by the time shes 17.
- Spic whores, very similar to the fat spickettes, spic whores are proud, loud, practically retarded, and incredibly obnoxious. However, instead of copious amounts of fat, they usually have broad, manly shoulders, a wide back like a tranny, an Adam's apple and nigger hair. Spic whores will fuck anything for attention, food and/or booze.
Tropical Spics (Banana Republic Spics)
While pwning the Americas left & right, the Spanish stopped and (naturally) raped around the wildlife of the Caribbean too. This left behind the confused and misguided nigglets today who think they have zombie powers and kill chickens for teh tasty blood.
Do note, the ability to troll America with oil makes the Caribbean breed a much higher grade of spic than their sick beaner cousins. Also note that there is a difference between a spic and a sea nigger, though the differences can be rather subtle. Sea niggers (that would be pacific islanders, faggot, not boongs) actually contribute to society in the forms of weed and date rape drugs. They also run countries, albeit very poorly, and do so only to advance their own filthy kind. Spics, on the other hand, contribute absolutely fucking nothing, and can't even run their own street gangs without everyone dying.
Cuban spics, found mainly in Florida, were dumped there by the Communists for the lulz. They didn't feel like housing a ton of raping, murdering coke-addicts in their prisons, and because America is such a shithole anyway, they dumped their criminals in Miami so that they could rape and pillage to their greasy hearts' content. You can also find a healthy dose of Haitians there, too.
- Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
- A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin in the whole country.
- Q: What's the difference between a spic and a pizza?
- A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
- Q: Why is a bench better than a wetback?
- A: A bench can support a family.
- Q: When is it appropriate to look at a spic?
- A: Through the scope of a rifle.
- Latin America
- Argentina is white - they are often delusional
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