Starhawk

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Somehow managed to be worse than it's predecessor.

Starhawk, or Starcock is the spiritual successor to Warhawk and while the basics of the game remains much the same, they managed to colossally fuck it up even more with the new base building system and some various changes they made to the old aspects of the game. Once again the story is about a never ending war between two factions, this time a bunch of redneck space miners versus a bunch of mutated fucknuts. Unlike Warhawk there is a single player mode but it's just a massive fucking tutorial that won't even help you in Multiplayer. In Multiplayer you are once again some unnamed soldier from either side and your primary goal is just to fuck up the other team as much as possible, just like Warhawk. However, despite the hype about a successor to Warhawk, most Warhawk fans condemned the game since it was too different from the blow shit up with TOW Missiles, Binoculars, and a wrench clusterfuck they came to love. Nowadays Starhawk gets played less than Warhawk which shows how much bullshit this game is.

History

After much dick sucking from fans of Warhawk, Dylan Jobes and his new company Lightbox Interactive decided to make Starhawk. However, Starhawk is considered a spiritual successor to Warhawk, which also means it's not a direct sequel to Warhawk. The possibility of a Warhawk II is very real especially considering it got acknowledgement from the devs after the fans hosted a faggotry filled holiday called "Warhawk Day" after the shitstorm that Starhawk was.

Build & Battle

To help differentiate Starhawk from Warhawk, they replaced the actual bases from Warhawk with a build your own base feature. As you can expect, this was a terrible fucking idea. You gain monies to build you base by gaining Rift Energy, which you get from Extractors in your spawning area or by killing faggots. Then you can build your base and make it all cool and shit. Until some bitch goes and sells everything that you just built, or the enemy team sets up a Outpost right outside your base and starts building a fuckton of tanks right behind you. Starhawk mods threaten to take away building privileges for people that grief their teammates shit but this hasn't really done anything since the game is pretty much dead now.

Single Player

You play as some half mutated nigger working with some redneck space miners called the Rifters to beat the shit out of all the mutated cultists called the Outcasts who want to protect their Jew gold from you and your band of merry men. Basically the campaign is one giant tutorial on how to play Multiplayer but it forgets that nobody in Multiplayer plays like the campaign leads you to believe. It's best left skipped, like the rest of the game.

Weapons

  • Guns actually take much more shots to kill in Starhawk than they do in Warhawk so using them is fuck all.

Knife - Now used by mashing R3. It's also pretty much useless now.

Grenade - Because of the shitty depth perception you get in 3rd person shooters, these are basically fucking awful.

Kinetic Rifle - Same shit as the Assault Rifle from Warhawk except you start with it now and it does even more jack shit for damage.

Revolver - Nobody uses this hunk of shit, mostly because you can never find one on the vast nothingness that is the fucking maps.

Railgun - Replacement of the Sniper Rifle but it takes much more shots to kill. This gun is horseshit.

Rocket Launcher - Same exact shit as the old one. Locks onto targets in an instant and if it's a vehicle, they're usually fucked.

Grinder - Dumbest fucking concept for a flamethrower on the planet. Sucks complete ass against everything but buildings.

Proximity Charge - Same as the Mines from Warhawk. Go into the enemy base and plant them everywhere for maximum lulz.

Shotgun - Piss hot pellets all over your target's face as long as your within it's two foot range.

Welding Torch - Replacement of the god forsaken Wrench. Does the same shit but you don't look like an asspie using it anymore.

Hawk Weapons

Machine Guns - Infinite ammo with a cooldown but they do jack shit for damage and are just best for shitting on ground targets.

Swarm Missiles - You can hold up to 64 of these fucking things now. Chances are, your target will evade your lock or use chaff so using them is still fuck all anyways.

Homing Missile - Still the most commonly used aircraft weapon in the game. Takes just two shots to blow other planes to kingdom cum.

Chaff - You now have an infinite amount of Chaff but it takes time to recharge. Used simply just to lose a lock on if you suck so much ass in a plane that you can't evade by doing stunts and shit.

Air Mines - Hovering proximity bombs that blow other planes the fuck up if they get too close to them. They are now deployed in groups but they deal less damage and suck complete ass now.

Flak Cannon - Works similar to the Lightning Gun but is more of an air shotgun. Blows the fuck out of targets at close range.

Cluster Bombs - Fires a small volley of individual bombs now so it sucks complete ass.

Cloak - Hides your pussy ass from everything with the exception of your shadow and the sound this shit makes when it's on.

Shield - Protects you from the onslaught of shit that constantly gets thrown your way when you use a Hawk.

Torpedo - Not as lulzy as the old TOW Missile but it's enough to blow up large parts of a base. It's okay.

Vehicles

Sidewinder - Jet powered motorcycle that blows up when anything touches it.

Hawk - They work exactly the same as the old planes from Warhawk when in the air, massive learning curve and all so you'll fucking die instantly by some basement dwelling faggot as soon as you take off, but instead of a hover mode you can go full Starscream and turn into a fucking robot that can stomp the shit out ground targets. Being a plane still however, it blows up fairly easily.

Ox Heavy Tank - Close enough to the old tank despite how fucking ugly it is. Perfect for blowing everyone and everything the fuck up. Also can turn into artillery and hammer shit from halfway across the map.

Razorback - Same shit as the old Jeep and blows up just as easily.

Vulture Jet Pack - Works the same as the old Jet Pack but it's fucking massive as hell now. You're still an easy target.

Grizzly - Smallish mech suit that runs faster than a nigger and and is armed with a railgun and an EMP. Good for harassing the shit out of enemies.


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