Stephen Huff

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Stephen Huff was a small-time hustler who became an hero on april the 20th after one of his gay fetish parties spectacularly failed sometime last Thursday. He wanted to be Tampa's toastmaster. He promoted decadent parties filled with scat porn and AIDS.

Fetish Parties

He advertised appearances by some of the top burlesque, fetish and adult entertainers in the country. And he always promised proceeds to be donated to local charities, but instead the greedy string-haired fuckwit blew the proceeds on hookers and blow, he was also rumoured to have been present at Stephanie Browns orgy where she was spit-roasted by two huge niggers and a dyke

For the past three years, Huff, 35, planned one spectacular event after another. Then each party began to spectacularly fail….probably because fetish parties were so ten years ago and now its Shit nobody cares about. Hundreds of people across Tampa knew Huff for his parties and his love of pedophilia. And each new event brought a fresh round of lulz and facepalms

His Death

Hustler Huff, wanting to make a dramatic final exit and apparently having seen the movie The Omen more than a few times, tied a noose around his neck and hovered about his second story balcony waiting for his unsuspecting, barely pubescent 20-year-old girlfriend to enter their apartment after an afternoon schmoozing with her brother.

Hilarity ensued when Huff, wanting to be an epic failure, made sure his girlfriend saw him all noosed up, waved a hearty good-bye, and jumped off the balcony while shouting “I did it for the lulz”,and succeeded in removing himself from the gene pool as he landed just inches from the ground below and breaking his neck, his lifetime of thievery having been put to a merciful end.

Suspicious Circumstances

Stephen had been partying with his girlfriends brother the night before his self-pwning, a row had ensued over who had the biggest penis, Stephens girlfriend settled the argument by revealing that she was, in fact, a trap and had a bigger penis than the both of them. The argument continued between Stephen and the brother into the next day, when it is alleged that the brother decided that Stephen actually needed to be better hung.

He left a letter, eight pages. A suicide note…..But the reality was that nobody really gave a shit and they had all prayed for this day for the past five years, even Stephens dad admitted he was “a mistake”. His funeral was expecting at least nine thousand people but less than 100 came, and that was only because his family laid on free pizza and beer.

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Failures

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Died Alone

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