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"Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories." - Sun Tzu

Stinkrats, also called "weasels", or "ferrets", are the gayest possible pets that anyone could own. They combine the lameness of a cat and the outright flaming faggyness of a one of those yappy toy dogs that Hollywood whores keep in their purses, AND it reeks of shit and axle grease to boot. Given how crappy a ferret is, it takes a special kind of eccentrist to even consider owning one of these worthless little pieces of shit. According to Wikipedia, Caesar Augustus sent ferrets or mongooses (named "viverrae" by Plinius) to the Balearic Islands to control the rabbit plagues in 6 BC.

Why Stinkrats Suck

They fucking smell like ass and embalming fluid, hence their common name. Many stinkrat owners remark how cuddly these overgrown rodents are, but Jesus Christ almighty, who the fuck wants to get anywhere near one?

It's closest relative is the common sewer rat, and they seem to know that they are inherently fail, as they like to keel over if you sneeze on them or look at them cross-eyed. Howevar, others think their inferior genetic makeup is not completely to blame. Some zoologist speculate that ferrets simply don't live long because they would rather just die than be the pet of such an abysmal human being.

Whatever the reason, ferrets typically have a short lifespan, have chronically poor health, and require all kinds of fake medicines, and special ferret food just to keep them alive (which is basically the dog and cat food that fell on the floor at the factory, only it costs as much as a tank of gas Every. Fucking. Week.

Holy Shit, Ferret Owners are Completely Batshit Insane

Stinkrat owners, as you would expect, are completely certifiable mental case fucktards. Think about how stupid you would have to be to want one of these, and combine that with someone who has an intense craving for the p3nor, typically makes poor choices in life, and has the tendency to not SHUT THE FUCK UP long after you've flamed them into oblivion. Got all of that? It's much. much, worse:

Some Ferrets jumping around into a bowl full of peanuts. Funny!
Ferrets: The Pursuit of Excellence
Ferrets: The Pursuit of Excellence

It seems like as my children got older and moved out, I sort of replaced them with ferrets.


—And she wonders why her children don't call her.

Trolling Ferret Owners

Trolling these stupid faggots is really easy, as they are, again, clearly diminished in mental capacity. They will go on endlessly about how great these little shits are, mostly as a facade, to hide the fact that they are secretly ashamed of their failure of a pet. Knowing that is half the battle. Some common ways of trolling these idiots are:

Ferrets For Kids

Gallery of Shame

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Pets That Are Way Better than Stinkrats

External Links