Swingers

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This type of pr0n is well known for featuring helpless women in failing marriages getting pwned in the ass whilst the cat watches on in boredom...
Many of these clips are stolen from video archives in certain countries, where the archives take on an anthropomorphic form and WATCH YOU having secks with your mom!

Swingers, also known as anal amateurs, are married couples and sick fucks that are to be found everywhere on the internet (note not internets, for reasons explained below) posting pictures and videos of themselves fucking in ways that a young person could never imagine. These inevitably end up on pr0n sites and filesharing networks such as rapidshit and megaupload that give you viruses, just like the STDs than many of these couples have to go along with their tattooes and piercings. They are generally white trash of the sort that would appear on the Jeremy Kyle show if they were Britfags, although you can be sure that there are gonna be some niggers in there too, because they are everywhere. Most of this sort of porn comes from the USA, Canada and Europe. Azns and Indians and just about all races of the world also appear - but not those who worship I-SLAM! (the last statement is LIES)

Atomic.gif Warning!
the world is about to explode

They are mostly old, fat and sometimes (but certainly not always!) ugly, such as that a requirement for these people is that they have lived for over 9000 days on this planet Earth. Hence they are too old to understand the internets, merely the internet. Therefore attempting to troll them will not likely result in lulz, because by flooding their messageboard posts with memes and 4chan references will have no effect because all they are interested in is secks, because menopausal women are well known to be driven for a great desire for cock, be it of a young man or an old one. Still, you never know what lulz could be sparked from trolling them. They constantly love to update their pictures of the man having buttsecks in a 45-year-old woman's ass, and give them out for free because no one would pay because nobody cares.

Since they don't understand the internets, they are like Wikipedia as they are only interested in IRL stuff and such notable activities as husband in wife in their forties both urinating into a bowl, then taking it in turns to use an enema to put the piss into each other's buttholes and bend over and urinate out of their rectums simultaneously, hence making them unfunny. Rumour has it that Jimbo Wales himself and his wife Christine are big fans of making such videos, and distributing them on websites such as this one and that one! Going on these websites is like viewing Holocaust Porn, as the masses of bodies doing sick things can be too much to bear for some. These videos stay around for at least 100 years, long after the swingers in question are dead, remaining on cheap CD-Rs in cheap CD wallets for decades. In fact, rumor has it (if you search through the comments enough) that there was a porn video uploaded to the former site in which the people who made it later became an heroes, the actors of this "movie" are dead..enjoy watching dead people doing sex.. BALEETED PWNED yet they are still on there fucking for all eternity! Sometimes you don't even see their faces in the videos too, preferring to remain anonymous pussies, and all of the films they make are low quality and unprofessional, despite unexpected surprises in them such as buttsecks and wiping the female's phat ass afterwards with a towel, hence making great fapping material.

However not all swingers make granny or MILF porn - indeed there are many young couples who do the same, but they end up breaking up afterwards and being all butthurt because their friends who care all laugh because the video is all over the internet and they make it whilst drunk and on drugs. Therefore it is NOT advisable that young people become amateur porn makers, leave it to the so-called experts. You can however view such pr0n by clicking the adverts at the left hand side of ED that appear all the time.

Biggest swinger slut

The slut has a take a number line.

Marion, a.k.a. slutwife, a.k.a cumdrinkingwife, a.k.a. Slave Marion. She is one of the biggest dirtiest swingers in Europe. She fucked over 2,500+ guys while her husband mostly films and watches. Her website updates daily/weekly fucking 5-100+ random men in one gangbang.


Quotes from Marion ripped off her site.
   
 
I like gangbangs, I like sexpartys, I love to get all holes stuffed. I like fucking with adult men of any race, age, weight or height.
 

 
 

   
 
I really love cum. I love to eat it, swallow it, play with it, I love cum on my face, in my mouth, on my body - everywhere.
 

 
 

   
 
I love having sex with strangers in adult theatres or at the gloryhole.
 

 
 

   
 
I also love being the cumdump for strangers at dogging spots, places such like carparks, truck stops or in the woods.
 

 
 

—]]

Typical swinger ad

Swingers often advertise themselves looking for other couples of a similar disposition on unfunny internet dating sites. The typical ad reads something like this:

Seeking fun! We are a happily married couple and well versed in swinging, we are looking for extra fun and excitement. would like to sample mmf,ffm and fmfm.......we both love pics.I also like to watch others enjoying all things sexual, (m) loves oral too givin and recievin. were also into pain and (f) deffo into anal . We like to meet get to know someone , chat have a drink and take things from there, hopefully along the way make some new friends as well as some sexy fun .I am looking to hear from Male and Female and Couple and Group members, we are both fit and healthy. If you need to know more just email. NO TIMEWASTERS (plz kthx).

YOU CAN HELP

You can help by trolling sex forums full of fortysomething nymphos in the manner that a good /b/tard should, which may well result in lulz. Claim to be interested in meeting up with them IRL, and share stolen videos and pictures and pretend that they are you and your girlfriend. At all times though it should be kept in mind that laughter is the best medicine, even better than secks.

Things that Swingers don't care about

Things that don't care about swingers and amateur porn producers

Gallery

Swing Baby Swing! About missing Pics
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See also

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