Back in early 2004, way before Tumblr, 9gag and Reddit, when the Ebaums meme-machine was still in its infancy and Encyclopedia Dramatica was still just a twinkle in Girlvinyl's gigantic hairy ballsack, internet memes were spread through email and then picked up by sites such as Something Awful and Fark. This story is no different.
Sometime in 2003, a computer systems manager from Minnesota named Jay Maynard decided that all of the TRON costumes he had seen on the internet sucked. With only a year left until Penguicon 1.0, a geek convention run by The Linux Foundation, what was a nerd to do? Jay's solution was to scour eBay for plastic body armor and a spandex unitard, and make a website to document his suit making progress. Some nerds found said website and emailed it to all their friends, who emailed it to all their friends etc, and the old guy in the onesie began polluting our internets; eventually popping up on Slashdot and other such websites. Seeing a mustachiod fat guy in spandex with a cameltoe was lulzy shit, it became the SA Awful link of the day, and from there the TRON Guy was born.
TRON Guy, in his own words
—TRON guy used to be a geek
—TRON guy talking about quitting Anonymous, taken completely out of context
The Discovery of TRON Guy
Some argue that TRON Guy would not have been as note worthy had he decided to wear underwear underneath his costume that fateful day in 2004 that he won "Best Worksmanship in a costume" at Penguicon 1.0. After the original article on Slashdot, the troll forums started buzzing about this fat guy in a spandex TRON suit with his nuts hanging out. Those who were lucky enough to have actually see him at Penguicon said that he wore the suit not only for the first day, which held the costume judging, but for all 3 days straight, and was avoided completely by those who did not wish to see his balls.
—advance512 - taking the internet too seriously
Because Jimmy Kimmel loves making fun of those with social disorders, he invited TRON Guy to go on his show for about a dozen appearances between May and December of 2004. 5 of those appearances were Jimmy Kimmel sending TRON Guy out on dates with real live women, as opposed to the Dot Warner plushie and the 6 ft Ox he had been yiffing with at home (See next section). At the time of the first date, TRON Guy was an admitted virgin. Despite Jimmy's best efforts they were to no avail and TRON Guy remains a perma-virgin.
TRON Guy Loev Furries?
Tron Guy admittedly resides with his furry companion Paul Neubauer, who's fursona is "Orvan Ox", a semi-famous furry known for handing out bulk boxes of furshampoo at Furry conventions. They met online on an Animaniacs discussion board. Once TRON Guy figured out that there was someone in this world who would actually sleep with him, TRON Guy dropped his whole life and moved from his home town of Huston Texas to Orvan Ox's hometown of Fairmont Minnesota. Today TRON Guy and Orvan Ox own a home together, which they regularly use to entertain guests.
TRON Guy is also a member of a lot of furry communities on the LiveJournal. TRON Guy says he feels a connection with furries. He goes by the name Tonya Souther in the popular online virtual world known as SecondLife, he is a female latex tiger fur who runs a business selling fine BDSM furniture.
—TRONguy- Telling it like it is.
TRON Guy Buys A Plane
As a second choice to a light cycle, in June of 2008, TRON Guy purchased a $140,000 AMD-Zodiac custom single passenger sport airplane, despite never having made more than a couple of hundred dollars off of his TRON Guy appearances. The plane was custom painted to match TRON Guy's unitard and helmet.
—TRON Guy - Failing miserably at what he wanted.
The TRON Guy Today
TRON Guy has made one of his missions in life to be the fight for Net Neutrality. Alongside Leslie Hall, that queen who prances around in the Peter Pan costume on MySpace, and the Subservient Chicken (who by the way definitely will not put shoe on head when commanded) have put out maybe the single creepiest song/rap video thing on their website wearetheweb.org. This all star cast of internet celebrities, along with the Back Street Boys lip sinking AZNs, the Quiznos hamster thing and the Dancing Baby from like 1995, succeeded at showing the world that they are still clutching at attention with white knuckles, and nothing is going to stop them from pimping themselves out until even after it is too painful to watch. Evar.
On April 2, 2008, the comedic geniuses over at South Park put out an episode called "Canada on Strike". In that episode, Butters gets famous on the internet by singing "wut wut (in the butt)", an epically gay YouTube video put out by Samwell sometime early last year. Once the boys reach internet celebrity status, they visit the Department of Internet money to try to get paid for their meme. Also waiting for their internets are TRON Guy, the Final Boss of the Internet Tay Zonday, the world's biggest faggot Chris Crocker, Star Wars Kid, Sneezing Panda, Numa Numa Kid, Drama Prairie Dog, Afro Ninja, and a few others. The storyline is lame and the jokes aren't funny. They just do their trademark things like falling and stumbling with foam nunchucks, and Chris Crocker Yelling "Leave (Whoever the fuck he was near at the time) Alone!!!" a lot, but in the end, TRON Guy gets mauled by the panda so it's almost worth watching.
—Tay Zonday, Being the BMF he is.
TRON Guy and TOW
Another example of TRON Guy's pandering is the fact that TRON Guy's Wikipedia article is being considered for deletion by the Wikipedia Jews for violating Wikipedia's no auto-biographies and notability rules. This might succeed as being one of the worst stubs on Wikipedia by the way. Of course, TRON guy is on permanent Wikibreak, not having contributed since 2007 except to update his TRON Guy's talk page to suggest someone add to his article the fact that he just bought an airplane.
Gallery of TRON guy
- Tronguy.net - The TRON Guy website
- TRON Guy's homepage - Chock full o' dox
- 's LiveJournal
- TRON Guy's Wikipedia account
- Jay Maynard barred from seeing TRON: Legends in the suit. WTF
|Featured article November 12, 2008|
Got my girlfriend to model for my car
|TRON Guy||Succeeded by|
Gordon the Pringles Giraffe