TamakiSpirit

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Hide your men, ladies, and break out the flamethrowers.

TamakiSpirit, also known as Kelly Spiritwind, is a DeviantArt user of the Shitty art Sparkledog variety who tries to animate her crappy work and a Furfag. Even though she's been on DA for 6 months, she's already recived almost 40,000 page views and an unbelievable amount of fan art considering her MSPaint "art" makes it look like she's never even seen a dog, let alone a Ethiopian Wolf, which she claims to be drawing. Most of the comments on her page are trolling attempts, though so far she hasn't reacted to any of it. There's a good chance she just doesn't get it.

She is 17 years old, has multiple siblings, her family is deeply religious and she lives in a small town in Iowa, apparently run by religious leaders who've taught her natural process and selection as well as Jew morals when they aren't being attacked by alligators but she also claims to be somewhere between Buddhism and Scientology. Yes, you read that right. Scientology.

She also understands a lot about biology as it is all she has ever known.

None of this should be taken seriously, however, as she can't seem to be consistant about the information she's posting.

The most recent attempt at trolling resulted in white knights crawling out of the woodwork as expected in these situations, despite the fact that user WolvenRemorse totaly called it like it is.

TamakiSpirit troll attempt.jpg

The Horror

This is an Ethiopian Wolf. Isn't it just precious looking?
This is supposed to be an Ethiopian Wolf. I don't see the resemblance.

It is imediately apparent that TS has no concept of basic anatomy, even less so than most Sparkledog artists. She also makes these creatures look more like nightmare fuel than actual animals, featuring joints that don't bend in the right direction, flailing tongues and mouths that would terrify a Sarlacc. Most of her "artwork" involves terrible animations of twiching horrors shaped somewhat like canines. The animated sections are often used to demonstrate what someone is talking about, usualy with horrifying, eye-bleach requiring consiquences to the viewer. All of her work is done in MSPaint. All of it.

The Comics

The madness starts here. Check your sanity at the door.

TamakiSpirit is the author of a nightmare that passes itself off as a comic about her multitude of Original Characters, all of which are either dogs, Ethiopian Wolves or mutants, and feature impossible colours and body piercing. It starts with the main characters in a love triangle and rapidly spirals out of control from there.

The Characters

The main character of the vomitous mess is Tamaki, the "artist's" fursona. Mother of four, grandmother of one, and in the middle of a relationship so fucked up you need a flow chart to follow it. Tamaki, Meita and Hanaana are all fucking each other when the comic starts, which leads to Tamaki giving birth to "puppies" named Eijin, Taige and Damatsu. Eijin and Taige dissapear, Taige possibly becoming an an hero because Hanaana accuses him of being gay.

Meita and Damatsu are a pink, red and black whore and a mutated pile of goo surgicaly attached to the whore's leg. You can decide which is which, not that it matters. Due to a complex series of events, Meita and Damatsu are related even before they get grafted together. They also both end up pregnant by the same... donor. How? Let's see Tamaki's explanation!

   
 
Well you see, Meita is a feisty spirit and managed to accidentaly tear her uterain wall, allowing a single sperm cell to leak. When it's simply just one, single sperm, it can easily blend in with the white blood cells. It arrived just in time to fertilize damatsu.
 

 
 

...Okay then. Everything is made extra special because Damatsu is technicaly still a "puppy" herself. The results of these failures of genetic mingling are a loch ness mutant called Adipose, a suprisingly normal looking (for a sparkledog) spawn called Ruby San who's Dyslexic and-

There is no God. This proves it.
SWEET MERCIFUL CTHULHU WHAT IS THAT THING!?

And that's a human. Named Wroze. It has no gender. Feel free to figure out who gave birth to what when your eyes stop bleeding.

It's not a tumor! (Yes it is.)

Hanaana is the only male main character, and supposed to be ripped but TS's "drawing style" just makes him look like he's filled with tumors. Father of all of Tamaki's "puppies" including the mutated pile of goo attached to Meita's leg. Hanaana has a pet wolf named Taylor, but it's okay because Hanaana is a Nigerian wolf and Taylor is an Arctic wolf.

Other characters in the story are not important. They serve no purpose unless Meita is going to have sex with them and produce terrifying offspring like she did with the Medicine Man.

Wait, what?

   
 
Meita met the Medicine man and had a connection that defyed all the laws of love. With the help of his Papua spices, the Medicine Man held a powerful fornacation ceremony, in which he impoersonated Meita with his DNA and transferred to her already developing fetus.
 

 
 

...Apparently that's the explanation for Wroze up there. It doesn't make anything better.

Formspring

Self-declared as loudly opinionated, TS has been answering questions on Formspring over the last three months. There have been some weak attempts to troll, but she does a good enough job of making fun of herself that it isn't totaly necissary. Sadly, her ass-kissing fantards have decided she's a valid source of information despite her blatant ignorance of how biology actualy works.

Some Memorable Words

   
 
The day of my birth shaped my life the most, even though it was 2 weeks, 16 hours and 54 minutes premature. My dear mother's contractions were triggered by a small earthquake while she lay on the kitchen table. The vibrations from the earth's core guided me out of my mother's womb, like a Shepard guiding his sheep through the feild and back to safety.
 

 
 

—TamakiSpirit


   
 
Natural selection happens wheather we like it or not! We chose our mates based on the electromagnetic pull of the neurons in our ocipital lobe. In other words, the reason we're attracted to a certain type is because our insticnks know they will create superier children
 

 
 

—TamakiSpirit


   
 
Yes, my comics are serious.
 

 
 

—TamakiSpirit OH SHI-


Gallery of Fail

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The Necklace

Does this remind you of anything? It probably should.

As of yesterday, TamakiSpirit made herself a necklace based on her OC/Fursona/Horrorbeast Tamaki. If this isn't reminding you of a certain other person who has their own shitty webcomic and wears a medallion of their character's face around their neck, you clearly need to lurk moar.


Trolling TamakiSpirit

  • Tell her that her drawings look nothing like Ethiopian Wolves.
  • Tell her she knows nothing about biology.
    • Quote actual biological information when she gets it wrong.
  • Tell her natural selection has nothing to do with breeding.
  • Call her the troll and say that you're on to her.
  • Correct her spelling. Often.
  • Ask her opinion on gay sex.
    • Tell her that natural selection has nothing to do with it.
  • Tell her the truth about Scientology.
  • Inform her that there is nothing wrong with marijuana.

External Links


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