Boston Marathon Bombing

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The 2013 Boston Bomb-A-Thon, also known as the Boston TNT Party, was a tactical first-person sporting game in which a team of terrorists competed against a team of counter-terrorists in a series of rounds. The event was a blast and the funniest Boston Marathon evar when nobody expected a marathon to become a game; at least 183 people were blown away with 3 destroyed.

While marathon running never used to be popular, it recently exploded into the mainstream as a lulz ticking bomb, due to the enhanced gameplay brought about by the introduction of new obstacles near the finish line and the addition of extra tactical teams and terrorists to pass through.

Contents

Gameplay

The wallhack/radar used by the Massachusetts State Police to cheat in Round 3

Players can either join the terrorists, counter-terrorists, or spectators. The spectators don't spawn with any weapons, but can still get their legs blown off from all the incoming gunfire. The terrorists decided this would be a better game to play than Russian Roulette and decided to plant these obstacles as the counter-terrorists were so fuckin' blind that they couldn't see what was coming.

The counter-terrorist team begins by running a two-legged race wearing spandex while dodging the numerous obstacles thrown in their path. Failing to avoid these obstacles can result in loss of at least 100 health points and having to complete the race on only one leg, effectively converting it to a game of hopscotch.

Three players on the spectator team lost over 9,000 health points, causing their death. Even the hospitals couldn't cure them. It consisted of some young 8 year old boy, a Chink graduate school student, and a restaurant manager lady. Then the two culprits ran away as only one became an martyr while the other one surrendered and went with the puh-leez.

Cheating

It is widely suspected that the counter-terrorist team used a wallhack with the party van to locate the last remaining opponent masturbating in a boat in some guy's front yard. Additionally, they have admitted to botting in order to diffuse the remaining unexploded IED's. Cheating n00bs. After an epic battle with the party van and pigs, Tamerlan Tsarnaev got shot and died instantly, and now is currently partying in hell with Adam Lanza, Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris, Cho Seung-Hui, Ted Bundy, Hitler, and a million other people that is elected an hero.

Competitors

Terrorist Team

The two commies considered by the party van as the culprits. Curly haired, big-nosed Jews.
The player with the dark baseball cap was dispatched by the FBI in a gun battle. The player with the white baseball cap is now making wedding plans with Bubba.

During the first few days, the commies weren't identified, because the police are too fucking retarded to figure out something so easy. As it turns out, the two players on the terrorist team are Muslims. Surprise! One commie was apparently seen taking a dangerous thing out of his backpack and placing it where the second pressure cooker of the gods exploded. One of them was some 17 year old runner. Surprisingly, these two culprits weren't sand niggers, or even North Korean gooks. At first they accused some illegal alien from Saudi Arabia of doing it after the police were having a fun time playing their favorite game called 9/11.

The actual culprits were Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, two Chechen natives who were deeply involved in Islam. The tweet below is from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's Twitter-favicon.png Twitter.

Dzhokhar is six stars wanted.

Terrorist Family

26 year old Tamerlan Tsarnaev married Katherine Russell and had a 3 year old daughter together named Zahara.

Who benefits?

When looking at the ulterior motives behind this bombing, we need to look beyond mere Islam. We must look at individuals who benefited from the situation. These include:

  • People trying to increase military spending
  • Fat people who hate marathons
  • New York Yankees fans.
  • Kofi Kingston ("S.O.S.! I hear them shoutin'!"), a Bostonian who won his third WWE United States Championship (using his "Boom! Boom! Boom!" finisher Boom Drop to defeat Antonio Cesaro) less than 8 hours after 3 people were killed by the bombs.

Counter-Terrorist Team

Loads of people got their legs blown off and shit, it was awesome. Some argued however, that in order to race, everyone needs a pair of legs. Fascists. So, instead they ended the marathon and wasted their energies investigating the crime. Switching maps in the middle of a match is widely regarded as a form of admin abuse.

In later rounds, some guy at MIT got headshotted near a 7-11, and some chicks in an SUV got GTA'd. A car chase ensued resulting in one of the terrorists getting vehicle team-killed while the other easily got away from the dozens of pursuing police officers.

Final Score

The terrorist team epically pwned the counter-terrorists by a final score of 4 frags to 1, over the course of 3 maps.

Score by map

de_Boston (Terrorists: 3, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

cs_MIT (Terrorists: 1, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

Watertown (Terrorists: 0, Counter-Terrorists: 1) (One terrorist team killed by other via SUV.)

Graded Score

Kill count: 9/20

Efficiency: 11/20

Style: 14/20

Butthurt and Lulz: 17/20

Bonus: Escaped the bomb and lead a manhunt: 16/20

Total Score: 67/100 and/or C-

Rank and Situation

Rank

After James Holmes killed those couch potatoes at that movie theater, some glamfags made a fire happen with over 233 people killed somewhere in Brazil, Adam Lanza the aspie pwnting several key-you-tea-looking children and had beated off the living fuck out of teh country, and other successful hardships made by an hero, this explosion's rank have killed merely 3 people, including some 8 year old boy, and some adults but severely hurt at least 183 people who are bleeding their asses off. The culprit earns a C-. The party vans came with the FBI cumming out and calling it a terrorist attack because they were secretly busy beating off to the video of 9/11 which got this in their fuckin' mind.

Situation

Once some gay marathon mostly consisting of retards in green and some gingers are all were up to the finish line, teh two twin bombs exploded. This is recently after some gooks from North Korea threatened to bomb Americunt and become the new sand niggers. It seems now possibly several gingers (who all infest Boston) are either injured or hiding (in the closet), which is why the person who did this was brave to sacrifice his life by reducing the spread of ginger vitus in Boston. Now we can keep our souls! Unfortunately, there are still more gingers haunting the world with their soulless magic! We will now have to do another thing to team up and protect the world from them as well as the beaners who caused the swine flu.

Plot

  • A crowd fills with gingers, retards, Britfags, victims, and many others.
  • The marchers cum in (wit their cum).
  • A long time of watching a boring-ass show of a bunch of asspies marching until they cross the finish line.
  • Some one fucked teh shit up. We don't know who but we do know that they did a terrible job at it as only 3 people died.
  • Newsflash with butthurt reactions.
  • Osama Bin Laden watches the news and gets pissed with those Korean gooks for copying him and his sand nigger prison punks.
  • North Koreans could be the new sand niggers.

Videos


Attack On Boston

This is definitly why there's so much incident of this kind in U.S.A..

Even Leonardo DiCaprio can't imagine two weeks in Boston.

OMG PRAY FOR BOSTON

DA HARLEM SHAKE

It also happened in Family Guy

Previous Video  |  Next Video


Theme song

I'm a sailor peg and I lost my leg!!

I ran past the finish line I lost my leg!!

I'm shipping up to Boston! (whoa oh oh) x3

I'm shipping off to find my wooden leg!!

I'm a sailor peg and I lost my leg!!

I ran past the finish line I lost my leg!!

I'm shipping up to Boston! (whoa oh oh) x3

I'm shipping off to find my wooden leg!!

Trolling people who were shocked by the scene

One of the bombs that failed to detonate at he scene.

Gallery

Boston Marathon 2013 About missing Pics

See Also

External Links


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Boston Marathon Bombing is part of a series on High Scores
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Boston Marathon Bombing
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Beliefs, Events, Traditions & Other Drama
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Boston Marathon Bombing
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Terrorists
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Big Players

Osama Bin Laden Dnepropetrovsk maniacs John Walker Lindh Muslims George W Bush Barack Obama Grog Unabomber Cho Seung-Hui Michael Moore Mohamed Abdulaziz Rashid Saeed-Alim The Finnisher Matthew Murray Robert Hawkins Timothy McVeigh Anders Behring Breivik Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi The Unabrower

Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes

Arab Axis of Evil Binghampton Iran Ireland Islam Pakistan Palestine Sudan

Terrorist Actions

Waco WTC Beheading videos Binghampton Tet Offensive Boston Marathon Bombing Columbine ATHF Terrorist Attack VTech Oklahoma City Bombing Delaware State University Shooting Police Brutality Narcovideos Nitroglycerin Occupy Wall Street

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Boston Marathon Bombing
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Ideologies:

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Issues:

AbortionBahrainBirthCISPADrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicans:

Adriel HamptonAhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLautenschlagerLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSantorumSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties:

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics:

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacacaOperation LemonpartyUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 ElectionsInternet PoliticsPolitical communities


Boston Marathon Bombing is part of a series on Psychopaths
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikCasey AnthonyGerry McCannCho Seung-HuiTyler PetersonMark EssexDylan KleboldEric HarrisMaurice ClemmonsAaron AlexisBruce Jeffrey PardoElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniJiverly VoongMalik Nadal HasanJared Lee LoughnerJeff WeiseJoe StackJosef FritzlJason RodriguezMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMatthew MurrayPekka-Eric AuvinenWade Michael PageTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiTim KretschmerTJ LaneRobert HawkinsRaoul MoatAlex Hribal

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer

Terrorists:

Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin Laden

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

Featured article April 19 & 20, 2013
Preceded by
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Boston Marathon Bombing Succeeded by
ScrewAttack
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