Tampon

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Tampon with applicator.jpg

A tampon is a sex toy for beginners. Also, it will help in the war of the machines. It is a strange contraption made of black person that girls insert into their vagina to soak up menstrual fluids. Tampons have strings or wicks at one end to make for easy removal or flossing one's teeth after receiving red wings. If inserted properly, the wearer shouldn't feel a thing. One might actually attempt to apply a second tampon, creating a rather interesting situation.(Interesting fact: The first person in recorded history to go down on a woman during her menses was Moses, described in the Bible as "parting the Red Sea." It was not revealed if he removed the tampon first.) Tampons are also widely used as makeshift boyfriends for virgins whose vaginas have not yet been stretched to accommodate a full-sized dildo.

The Wick

Some believe if you pull it, you receive a free vagina or a delicious lickable treat! Others believe if you light a match on it, the loli will explode. Lulz and inevitable rape ensues. The only way to determine what truly happens is to sneak up on an unsuspecting woman and rip the bloody goo-soaked glob out of her twat.


Menstrual Painting

Some women like to paint with the gunk that comes out of them. This art is usually poorly done in an attempt to be unique. It can also be used to to express your inner goddess and your general hate for all men because you can bleed out of your cooter and they can't. This will obviously teach them a valuable lesson.

Proper Use

A lesser known fact, is that the tampon was initially created as a midnight snack for feminists, once properly marinated in a fresh coat of vaginal blood. A fat attention whore picks up the long-forgotten technique in the below viral video, subject to much reaction by sexually deviated basement dwellers who secretly get hard to that sort of thing.


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