Tatiana the Tiger

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Nuvola
Moar info: Carlos Sousa Jr.
Tatiana.gif
Always fly on Tiger Airways in memory of Tatiana.


   
 
R.I.P. Tatiana, You died doing what you loved
 

 
 

—Leila K Dec 27, 2007

Tatiana lolcat1.jpg

Tatiana was a beautiful eight year old Siberian Tiger who lived at the San Francisco Zoo. On Christmas Day, 2007, the fucking pigs shot her down mercilessly (just like they did with the black person) in a hail of bullets after some idiot teenagers were viciously assaulting her and she jumped out of her enclosure to defend herself.

Life after death

Posthumously, Tatiana has become an Internet superstar. In her first 24 hours on MySpace, she had acquired more than 118 MySpace Friends. TOW also deemed her sufficiently "notable" to merit an article.

Locals are currently flocking to the zoo to leave memorials to the late Tatiana, while snubbing the dead beaner.

A history of violence

Tatiana was born in Colorado. She was brought to the San Francisco Zoo in 2005 to provide another Siberian tiger with companionship. She soon attacked one of the zookeepers and destroyed most of her arm. The director of the zoo strongly favored destroying Tatiana, but a public outcry prevented the execution.

Tatiana's friends and relatives respond

Tatiana.jpeg

Several of Tatiana's friends and relatives have come to her defense - or, in one case, their own! - in light of the many claims of her being the perpetrator of the incident that led to her demise.

   
 
On behalf of myself and the rest of the Standard Esso Enco Exxon Tiger Team, I'd like to say how much I'll miss Tatiana. She was always nothing more than playful, and loved to playfully swat little foreigner kids around the room like kittens do with balls of yarn or hapless rodents. If it's had been me, I'd have stuffed the little wetback in a gas tank! But we're not talking about me, we're talking about Tatiana. No matter what you may hear in the next few weeks, she never did it out of hatred, spite or angst - she did it for the lulz!


 


 
 

—The Exxon Tigermart Tiger

   
 
What a waste. We could have used her for a mascot on combatting illegal immigration!


 


 
 

—Tammany Tiger

   
 
I emphatically deny I taught her how to bounce over that fence!


 


 
 

—Tigger

   
 
Oh, get off it already, Tatiana just succumbed to her instincts and bit the head off of some kid who just happened to look like a towelheaded hindu punk. Shit, most of us tigers can't tell a hindu from a paki, much less a Mexican! If anyone should know, it's me. So lay off Tatiana, okay?


 


 
 

—Shere Khan

   
 
So, like, Tatiana's gone spitsville, man. Let's show the departed a little of the respect deserving of the cool, y'know?


 


 
 

—Cool Cat

   
 
Heavens to Murgatroyd! Tatiana was like a sister to me, even, and now she's exited stage left!


 


 
 

—Snagglepuss

   
 
Fucking Nazi pigs had to go and kill her before I could feed Calvin to her, dammit!


 


 
 

—Hobbes

   
 
I spoke with Good King Friday XIII, and he's agreed to let the Make-Believe Trolley be used to transport Tatiana to her final resting place. It's a tragedy to say the least. If only we'd have known her need to vent her frustrations, we'd have introduced her to Fred Rogers years ago!
 

 
 

—Daniel Striped Tiger

   
 
Sorry, but I can't blame Tatiana for trying to eat that kid. I've had Mexicans for dinner, and all I can say is...they're GRRRRREAT!


 


 
 

—Tony The Tiger

Tribute to Tatiana ... in song!

How it all went down.

The REAL reason Tatiana was killed

Damn! That Mexican food is fucking *HOT!*
In happier times.
   
 
The illuminati had to put Tatiana down. You see, she knew too much about media control. She was just pointing out the other day that what is interesting to observe in media coverage is what is NOT ever reported. For example, Tatiana pointed out that no mainstream media ever reported on Steven Jones' peer reviewed article regarding 9-11. "It does not matter who you think did it", she said, "what matters is that no one will report that there is even a controversy being discussed by a noted physicist. Even if another physicist disputed his conclusions, no one would report that either."

Ok, so for those of you who got distracted by the word "9-11" and who missed the point about media not even reporting that controversy exists, try this one. Tatiana told me that two weeks ago the defense minister of Japan started talking about UFO's. Now who cares whether or not there are UFO's? The story is that the defense minister is talking about them. Whether he is right or whacked out, that's a story. So why does the US media ignore it while telling us about Britney? Tatiana hated Britney and was shocked at what passed for news in this country.

Tatiana was also reported to be taking calls from Ron Paul, asking questions about why the US gives contracts to proven slave traders like Haliburton, said something about the federal reserve being an illegal scam that got Kennedy killed, said the federal income tax was never ratified, and even mentioned that the United States should not tolerate Mexican since no other country on Earth does. Not even Norway! Geez.

Tatiana had to be stopped. She knew too much. Watch your back, Koko.
 


 
 

Craigslist, srsly wtf?

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