Telnet

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Telnet is a Web 1.0 protocol for remotely connecting to a shell. Before the days of MySpace, LiveJournal, Facebook, Twitter, and especially 4chan, telnet was the only way to contact people farther than shouting distance. It was the first killer app of the Internet! (Also: ping.)

History of Telnet

A typical response when attempting to telnet in. People are such pussies.

Telnet was one of the first protocols designed for networking, back when networking was a dream within a dream. Long before the world was plagued by blogs and teenage girls with LiveJournals, technological savvy individuals were using telnet to communicate with each other.

Telnet is completely unencrypted and thus make a perfect gift wrap for your docs. This ensures the fastest possible connection and lowest overhead, since encryption just wastes CPU and makes more packets. Believe me, you aren't important enough to be sniffed.

Current Uses for Telnet

  • Watch ascii STAR WARS right fucking now.
  • Accessing your kick ass homepage via UNIX shell
  • Impress your Script kiddie friends
  • Accessing Citadel systems in order to follow the text for drama and lulz
  • Connecting to your computer from a public place and typing random shit in order to impress the chicks (this eventually leads to formatting your hard drive).
  • Connect to your ISP's router with the default password because your ISP is too stupid to hire a monkey smart enough to employ the most basic and fundamental concepts of network security, and then download much donkey porn

Telnet Links

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