The Arkh Project
The Arkh Project, aka The Minority JRPG Report, aka Final Fashion Fantasy VII, aka The Neverending Genderqueer Story, aka Sparkly Kingdom Mary Sue Hearts aka The World Ends With You In My Anus aka Herb Collector Weeaboo
2012 2013 2016! is one of the lulziest scams gaming development projects conceived by fags, wankercripples and weeaboos to ever come out. Claiming to be an original and unique story that caters specifically for 'non-binary' 'non-CIS' people who literally cannot use their imagination playing any RPG, should it ever be released, will set back gay/trans/POC movement by 9000 years.
- 1 Humble Beginnings
- 2 Scamming/Fundraising
- 3 Previous Works: Kinou Games Ougaming
- 4 Totally Originalz Storyline/Gameplay
- 5 Characters
- 6 Quotes from Arkh
- 7 Concept Art
- 8 Game Design
- 9 Gameplay
- 10 Videos
- 11 Ultimate Goal of the Game
- 12 The World
- 13 Staff
- 14 Advertising and Drama
- 15 Double Fine Games
- 16 See Also
Normally any type of game like this is immediately flushed down the crapper by the general public thinking that we need another JRPG, yet the Arkh Project hit upon a marketing plan that proceeded to go viral despite their retarded ability to bring a project to market.
Unfortunately for Arkh, its hard to do that when your lead writer is so dense that 'they' sort of forgot all the racist shit they said in the past.
The Arkh Project has no need for big name backers because, according to Arkh, people with money are all CIS whitey's who are bigoted towards indy companies that won't employ fucktards who don't show up for work and write racist screeds on the Internet. The project started looking for donations through Indiegogo and Kickstarter, but decided on Indiegogo when it was pointed out that Kickstarter wouldn’t let you keep the money if the goals weren’t met. Sounds legit, amirite?
- $10: One piece of concept character art you could download from Tumblr for free.
- $25: Two pieces of concept art.
- $100: All four pieces of concept art. Four sheets of paper... Four.
- $250: Concept art, Beta privileges (that would be a demo, right?) and a full color book of world concept art.
- $500: All art, Beta privileges, and a limited edition hardcopy of the game signed by either the queer, the weeaboo, or the black/genderqueer/weeaboo racist.
- $1000: Everything listed above PLUS a costume. Yep, you got it: A FUCKING DRESS. Also interesting to point out that only one person could even be able to claim all of this.
So this sweet deal only sets you back $500 to get a copy of this game... when it's released. But they'll only honor those donations if they reach the full amount.
According to Arkh, the costs came in as;
- $15,200 Character Models
- $16,600 World items/models
- $2,000 2D User Interface
- $8,000 Inventory
- $40,000 Programming Costs
- Music theres this guy I know...
Where the fuck the Arkh project pulled out $250K from their ass is complete lulz. As of now, they have raised over $5000 out of the
$100,000 $250,000 they need. Don't forget the other $1,500 RoseGold raised via Chipin as seen here, but seeing the shit storm on the horizon that people might consider this venture a -gasp- SCAM, they have split the donations down to each milestone. The current milestone is $5000 for concept art, which has been farmed out to the Chinese sweatshop Robekkah Art Studio, and fanart. This was all well and good until Double Fine games landed on the scene. The resulting butthurt was massive lulz.
An article in April 2012 on the GameZombie.tv website here (a gaming website noone has heard of, but one of the 'volunteers' previously worked for) now highlights quotes from Arkh PR rep Jes Richards that the money is going on BOTH artwork and 3D modelling (by Robert A.K Brown, yet doesn't list Arkh as clients, and has never been mentioned again LOL) and that everyone else are volunteering their time.
An update on July 2012 via the Tumblr page breaks down the costings so far out of the total $7412 achieved by fundraising so far. Presumably the Arkh project were getting a bit jittery over the increasing comments from people that The Arkh Project just took the cash and spent it on trans hookers and blow
and writing fanfiction about how to pack towels in your anus after a hard night assfucking Bahleeted. So in an effort to dispel such outrageous falsehoods, Arkh broke down their spending costs, to show that despite having over 20 artists and writers, they will happily spend over 50% of the money raised on still headshots and concept art. No environmental concepts or additional artwork.
Models you say? So far there has been one model created and it was contracted out to DigitalShock Studios. The model had to redone because the initial model published had artifacts all through it as well as stupid shit like Ain's sword scabbard hanging off their wrist. The model cost $2880 (nearly 40% of the first fundraising amount) so you can extrapolate that their initial target for models would be about 5 and the rest reskinned, or you would realise that its full of shit.
Kinou Games Ougaming
The Arkh Project, while technically the first development product available, two of the developers Kia and Erin were previously involved in another small company called Rosegold/Kinou Games. Despite the FAQ stating that Rosegold are only consultants, we know full well that the spokesperson was Seira/Riley, so that's bullshit. They’re previous titles Mitsumata and Papa Pirate, Baby Bandit.
But while moving into games, Kinougames were also looking for investors to fund them to draw anime and bring it to market in the US, if that makes any fucking sense at all. For the princely sum of $25,000, you can fund a group of art students using AIM to draw and cosplay their own fucked up characters at anime conventions. In a huge shock, no one funded their project.
UPDATE: Holy shit! Rosegold have apparently hit the big time! In a post on their DA account, they are apparently working on a major project which has put all their current projects on hold and they can't talk about it until "Spring 2013." Sounds legit
The Next Game Boss: Well now it has emerged this awesome big time project was submitting one of their games the IGN Series The Next Game Boss. in an effort to win $10,000. So the turnaround of how their planned new venture would put on hold releases for Mitsumata was actually then actually them trying to get Mitsumata in a workable state so it can be ridiculed on a TV show. The irony is that Riley is credited as the main writer, so unsurprisingly The Arkh Project went quiet around the same time as the TV show began filming.
- Rena making absolutely no eye contact with the straight white programmer.
- Having a tour of Rena's house to show just how Ghetto she is.
- No shots of any other team members of Rosegold. Not suspicious at all.
- Using the same spiel as the plea to get Rosegold to write Anime for the US market. Judge David Jaffe quickly asks why they didn't just write a graphic novel.
- The admission that Mitsumata is written Ren'Py.
- "A lot of just sitting and reading..."
- Riku has super powers but doesn't want to be a hero, yet the story will show how he grows to become a hero. How fucking original amirite?
- The attempt to equate Mitsumata with Phoenix Wright...judges shoot that one down real quick.
- You can see the judges eyes roll back into their head as they speed click their way through all that weeaboo storyline.
- "I love the music" usually meaning
- Watching Jenova Chen, a designer of several titles that has virtually no dialogue yet still be able to tell a story become really pissed off at reading walls of text.
Bonus points watching Rena crap her pants at the prospect of telling Riley their story is too fucking long and boring.
Papa Pirate and Baby Bandit
Papa Pirate and Baby Bandit was apparently started at the end of 2010, and a direct rip-off of the 90’s Japanese title 'Princess Maker.' A ‘life simulator’ where you raise a baby girl, though it is, like, totally controversial as the princess has two Daddies, and one of the endings features the main character ending up in a trailer park munching carpet. Siera/Riley posted in a sprite community in January that it was to be released in March/April and dropped some screenshots as seen here. The community collectively pointed and laughed. Nothing was heard of again until June. Kinou games were posting regularly in the Lemma Soft Forums until July 2011 when it suddenly announced it was yanking production of a massive case of butthurt in which Riley accused everyone of being racist. The demo was released in August and the resulting lulz as the steaming turd forced Kinou games to remove their blogspot and their website was massive.
The second game is a Horror Visual Novel called Mitsumata. Set in 1993 where, once again, the characters are controversially set as gay and/or have gay relationships. Check out the advertisement where they ask for a shitload of
people who can trace line art developers and then admit they want you to work for free for possible revenue share, when the contract finishes a month before the release date. BAHLEETED The game is basically a set of mini games, platform jumping, Pokemon combat system and weeaboo artwork that a Nokia 6310 could run.
Yaoi Full Metal Alchemist Project
Oooh wow, a third project has been unearthed which was an unabashed rip-off of Bluebird Illusions Full Metal Alchemist RPG, (Itself shut down for breaching copyright, but doesn't stop fucktards declaring it 'da rarest anime game [email protected]!!') except the designers make it gay, pedophillic...and possibly incestuous. The call to arms from Riley came that they needed artists, writers, designers, developers using RPG Maker XP, and specifically voice actors that will do Japanese (But don't you dare call Riley Weeaboo, they are ASIAN.) Of course you need to donate your free time IN EXACTLY THE SAME METHOD AS THE ARKH PROJECT IS DOING NOW.
— Copyright law and Intellectual property is another whitey conspiracy guiz. Fuck Da Police
This call was posted at the beginning of July 2009. Then ZOMG two weeks later the beta is ready for test. The design document is secret of course, but they only need to write the online manual AFTER THE BETA is released, then the WALKTHROUGH a few weeks after release.
So exciting yes? then...nothing...not a thing is heard from it again. Obviously it was a conspiracy from Da Man to keep Yaoi becoming mainstream, but in reality became another one of those triple distilled clusterfucks flying in corkscrew formation that Riley seems to have their autistic fingers all over.
Totally Originalz Storyline/Gameplay
- Enjoy a completely linear storyline as highlighted by the developers themselves.
- Wonder at a party system that you cannot change through the whole game.
- Marvel at the handdrawn 2D User Interface that will cover 60% of the screen, as seen on two previous games that have yet to be brought into production.
- Equipment sets such as rings, bracelets and capes that can only be worn by certain characters to troll the player.
- Hit trees with your weapon for wood and fruit and cut grass for herbs in awesome 3D
- Talk to NPCs and unlock sidequests depending on how fashionable you are. (Not kidding.)
- Play the story to re-piece your memory.
MateriaCores to insert into your weapons to gain affinity to that element.
- Gasp at an awesome weeaboo world that mashes cultures that have historically loved and cared for each other.
- An ability system that shrinks as you progress through the game.
- Immerse yourself as you execute combos and button sync moves that are nothing like God of War.
- Oooh Ahhh Limit Breaks and Critical Attacks.
- Ragequit all the minigames just to get to the next level, as well as your stats decreasing with each new level.
Since Last Thursday there has been a new deviantART account created for the story Arkh Comic here. that was to outline the storyline between Ain and Haruka. Released to utter confusion of what the fuck is actually going on and questions on how to actually read the thing properly, the webcomic was quickly reclassified as Fan Art and the artist is not being paid or attached to the official team.
—Official statement regarding the webcomic.
For additional lulz, it actually caused noted ally Miaka Chiba to have a meltdown on facebook and accuse the haters of being white. UPDATE: There is now strong suspicion that Miaka Chiba is actually Riley pretending to be a fan, considering they pretty much gave themselves away after a troll invited over 9000 to bomb the FB page.
—Thats it, just let that hate and self loathing out, attagirl.
In May 2012, in another desperate effort to draw attention to itself and their artistic credentials LOL, a webcomic was released to identify the gender of Haruka based on 'fan submissions.' Other fan submissions so far have also included Riley submitting a sketch of Aina to the Arkh Project Tumblr after posting it on their own Tumblr. It is also very interesting to note the art style is identical to the 'fan art' of the webcomic. The comic itself done with Ania drawn in fucking Chibi style dancing around obviously aroused, (wouldn't want to identify trans people as predators or anything) with Haruka demonstrating their gender by lifting their dress, Arkh proving their sensitivity to trans people by identifying gender purely based on genitals. The webcomic never identifies Haruka's gender either so the point was just to provoke butthurt trans people into commenting.
Adela/ Miaka/ Some Native Cunt Ain(a): The main controllable character. Sixth Level Female assigned (have fun with that one), mixed race, 16 million years old. Daughter to the King and Queen of the Astral realm so obviously fucking privileged. Apparently 16 million years isn't enough to finish school, or remember what your mother looks like either, so one of the most retarded Goddesses on the Astral Realm. Fell in love with Haruka, a fourth dimension being slave. So they could buttfuck each other for eternity, they decided to shed their forms An Hero but since Ain is retarded she managed to have their memories wiped and are now completely lost.
Basically it's Riley.
Haruka: Ain's Fourth Level sex slave pet. Androgynous, muscular fighter type build, same height as an average CIS male (because straight men are the same height, faggot) and personality high dependent on how much he likes you. I'm seriously not making this up. History as a Wapanese soldier but has attained enlightenment upon turning gay.
Yue Jerah: Ain's trans brother, in other words Ain and Jerah switched. Sixth Level, a spritely 14 million years old. His main story seems to be that they hate their hair. No seriously, theres an actual post about it. (Good job enforcing stereotypes there too) There was also fanfction written by Riley (deleted when Riley killed their Tumblr) that Jerah at one stage got his mothers "Energy Gun" and proceeded to blow his nuts off because his father Nokolai cut his hair, so completely fucking normal right? Oh and something about they caught his 'sister' fucking dirty slave Haruku, and got butthurt over the lack of wincest and reported Haruku for termination. You do get to kill Jerah in the end though.
—Proof Arkh really think asexuals are evil
Queen Zahira: Ain's & Jera's "mother." Huge Mary Sue, model, socialite, science geek, born leader, has exquisite fashion, yadda yadda. For massive lulz, she actually created Haruku so her hubby could give this slave to Ain as a present, thereby complete a 16 year old girl's dream of their mother finding them the perfect partner.
Vishal Neelu and Romero: The two NPC sidekicks to Ain and husband and wife. Neelu is the offensive 'black' (LOL) Mage married to Romero the white healer mage. Friends of Queen Zahira and why these two would hang out with a teenager remains a mystery except for a threesome opportunity. Being totally original, Romero is cast as a grumpy healer class with an attitude while Neelu is cast as a complete Genki-girl. The award for original storyline in a game is already in the bag here, gentlemen.
Raphael: Token White dude.
— Yeah learn your lesson Whitey scum
Christianna: Token White Christian chick and most likely the personification of the entire development teams' psychiatrist.
Black Avatar Aang: Rip off a well known Nickelodian cartoon character, make him black, give the guy multiple names and admit there is no idea of this character yet. Yeah, that'll show them we're a professional company.
OkamiKile: A black cat the size of a dog that follows Ain around. UPDATE: Fucking LOL!!! The artwork was changed within 24 hours when Arkh fans reblogged the picture adding that Kile seemed to look like the Pokemon Umbreon. That must be embarrassing. Their own fans have figured out that they're ripping off other animu characters!
Nikolai: Crippled PTSD fucked in the head Father to Ain and Jerah AND THE FINAL BOSS! Was apparently all happy and awesome until he killed his wife and buried her on some planet and then discovered Ain isn't white and now a freak genderqueer. If that doesn't rub off the charm, what will? Hopefully it will be explained one day why the ruler of the Astral World can't just find a whole body to live in, and why having his arm and leg blown off like a fucktard. The artwork mistakenly has him holding his cane on his good leg side, so he'll walk like a retard on crack. His uniform looks like he's about to enter a Street Fighter Competition under the name "Crippled M Bison."
Now, this is where it gets interesting for the Arkh Project... Zahira is black and Nikolai is white, yet they have produced half caste Jerah and black as hell Ain with both of them being BIRACIAL. Expect Arkh to declare that "ït's magic you racist whitey" to questions of how this actually happened. This circumvents the Arkh project's dislike of biracial people calling themselves PoC, particularly Riley shrieking "they aren't black enough" or "They are passing white, the stupid crackers."
Quotes from Arkh
—A sixteen million year old genderqueer God that ass-fucks slaves. Theres gotta be a few of them around here.
So as a game studio, the first thing to look at after sorting out the team would be putting out a website, design document, and a storyline document so the various developers could be split into their respecting teams. Not the Arkh Project! The first and most important thing is to set up a shitty Tumblr and Facebook page, then crank out concept character art so it fags up everyone's dashboard. Also tweet Oprah... no really.
Initial concept character designs for Ain and Haruku came out and everyone screamed "Soooo Kawaii!" That was until it was pointed out that a Japanese character was wearing Chinese clothing because the Chinese and the Japanese have a history of love and respect for each other, right? The Arkh team originally brushed this off as they were really fan art and a 'melding of cultures.' However it then also was revealed that Ain's dress was lifted from another photograph and Romero's design was ripped off a Shakira photoshoot.
—Arkh team: Haters gonna hate us for tracing
There was also a hilarious post where it was fretted that Ain was too white and repeatedly darkened. Fuckers can't even get the artwork right. So it all boils down to do all of the art FIRST then build the game around it. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
As of April 2012, its starting to look like the full page artwork are all done, so its now up to individual head pieces of the main characters with their standard face and angry face, but for some bizzare reason, both Zahira and Romera have artwork that looks like they are either taking a massive shit or just fapped onto the face of the nearest Fourth Level slave. The Arkh Project seems to think that this represents the characters being independent and in touch with their sexuality, but ends up being an embarrassment.
The game's initial design was to be completed with the Aurora toolset that the developers found free in a box of Neverwinter Nights. This has now changed, and they are going to fully design it with the Unity Engine, and use their own lighting and shaders. That way it can be done for free until they have conned enough money to actually buy a license. Or enjoy the Unity Splashscreen popping up randomly to cockblock your pure gay experience.
UPDATE: Fucking changed again! The main engine is now going to be the Unreal Development Kit on advice of their programmers. It is just a complete coincidence that the royalties that need to be paid to the Development Kit company were recently changed from $5,000 worth of game sales to $50,000. Modelling will commence in April 2012 to which the Arkh Project admits they will be using Ain's model for all NPCs and just change heads. Test narrative will now be done using the Skyrim Development Kit.
UPDATE July 2012: Arkh have admitted they have no fucking idea what they are doing. The test level/prototype is going to be done on Unity again using the Okashi RPG Kit. In fact they splashed out and purchased two copies of it with the money they got from the Kickstarter to fund Concept Art only. At this stage Arkh are still keeping their options 'open' on actually choosing an engine to build their game.
After all the money initially raised by the Arkh Project, questions started getting asked about the documentation of the project. The developers initially stated that design documents are ‘sooper sekrit’ and available only to the investors and developers. This lasted about 10 minutes when people started pointing out the obvious that asking for public donations doesn’t really give you that excuse.
Holy Shit, Riley finally crapped out a Design Document last Thursday to shut up all those haters. Worthy of a My First Word Document contender, the design document is full of lulz, spicy racism and bigotry. Since the design document is in draft mode to avoid spoilers... if you only read page one, it then proceeds to spoil the entire game in telling players how to win at it. (Hint: if you don't play it for the storyline, you must hate fun.)
In a discussion on Arkhs Facebook page in Feb 2013, where someone asks the question where is the fucking game, and whether the game would be released on X-Box (bwahahahaa)
Miaka Chiba Riley proceeded to whine that XBLA development guidelines would prevent the game being made because of obvious racism against queer POC. Nothing to do with actual programming and development standards, perish the thought! It was then dropped that the 'original quality promise' was actually based around the graphical quality of Kingdom Hearts... yes, the first one. So Arkh are talking about AAA quality game from about 12 years ago. In other words, Arkh perpetrated a complete LIE in their own kickstarter to generate funds. Of course now its nothing to do with the gameplay of Arkh, just the quality of the story, which is intense, edgy and K+ only for queer people. You can enjoy some of the awesome storyline here.
In September there was an actual Arkh update, that wasn't desperately trying to flog the kickstarter for some shitty amateur production because they are either black, trans, or black/trans ally. (which Riley calls traitors anyway) First they strenuously denied that the project is dead, and proceeded to whine like bitches about school and work and shit people should actually do to contribute to society instead of fapping off to their own hubris. Apparently finding a game tester is hard work, or that any competent game tester took one look at this polished turd and refused to have their name attached to it. So you would think if they are talking about testing, they have some working code. Well apparently not and even Arkh now admit its shit, so they are going to redo the game design and flow on paper....you know....what should have been fucking done in the first place.
Of course in terms of funding, Arkh will be completely donation driven and apparently digital shock studios will do all the programming, art and design. Yep the Arkh Project is just going to write the story and then beg donations for another company to develop it. You can be sure that Arkh will INSIST only black, gay or trans people will do the work..oh wait...
Combat System and Monsters The battles center around Ain's family wanting to bring them all back home... So the idea is to send monsters to kill them. Basically, standard hack and slash JRPG type battles where you are transported to a Battle arena and then your threesome sex troupe execute combos and defeat monsters for gold, plants and 12 inch black dildos. The characters can avoid battles by not stepping on tiles that contain monsters, so threat mechanics sound non-existent. Each monster encounter is a single battle, but multiple monsters can appear on up to 7 tiles. By this logic, battling one monster every time can make the battles last up to 30 minutes, or the more likely scenario:
- 1. Fight Encounter 1
- 2. Mash buttons + C-C-COMBO BREAKER! + UPPERCUT!
- 3. Win
- 4. Fight Encounter 2
- 5. ????
- 6. Fight Encounter 7
- 7. Characters are out of HP and MP
- 8. Killed/Sent Home/Gangbanged
- 9. Player realizes whole encounter would need to be completed again /Ragequit /[An Hero]
But wait... there's more! In
totally ripping off Gantz an original design thought, random NPCs will sometimes spawn on the battlefield and proceed to fuck you up by getting in your way, because only the party can apparently see the monsters. If these NPCs are attacked, they then turn on you and screw up your ability to target the monsters. In other words; a giant dickmove to the established combat system to troll the player. This was proposed by Arkh as "representing the mentally ill," because only the mentally ill dress up in gowns and furry costumes, swinging 'magic' swords at thin air in public areas.
There are also story driven Boss fights and Mega Boss fights. Follow this handy guide of who the player will kill.
- PoC God = Allies
- PoC Tranny God = BFFs
- White Tranny = Kill
- White CIS Wimmin = Rape and Kill (Don't worry, Riley likes making rape jokes too, like ALL THE TIME.-->)
- White CIS Male = Kill
Equipment and Items
All manner of phallic equipment and items that can be picked up or crafted is acquired by SPENDING TIME CUTTING GRASS! Gear can only be equipped by certain party members, because things like capes are so fucking hard to wear that it requires a professional with millions of years of experience...oh. Also, in a testament to the lack of thought in the story design, Ain is only experienced in using swords, so has to learn magic and other weapons during the quests. 14 million years is too short a time to learn basics it seems.
In completely ripping off The World Ends With You, there is, according to the design document, a 'fun' component to gear called 'Presentation'. Each item and weapon has a Presentation stat, dependent upon the score between Tranny, Bulldyke, Rogue and Internet Tough Guy, will cause NPCs to be unlocked and offer quests or even call the guards...
Yes, that's right. Gear has a fucking COSPLAY stat!
So imagine inventory bags filled with clothes and weapons, having to cycle through IN FRONT of the NPC until you hit that magical Cosplay score which will make the NPC change from "Why is this Tranny talking to me?" to "Wow a Tranny is talking to me!" However, a sidenote indicates that switching equipment can be dangerous, so that can be translated as "Random Monster Generator." The fuck?
Classes and Skill Points.
It has recently reported on the main Tumblr page that there will be no such thing as classes or skill points for the gaming experience. We can only assume that Arkh are talking about Ania since it has repeatedly been stated that Romero and Neelu are healer and fighter class respectively. But then it's not like Arkh have fucked up their own game play story before.
The mechanic is replaced by pure gear and sidequests to get through the game and earn life XP and God XP. So much for sidequests being fucking optional as in NOT PART OF THE MAIN STORY. It also highlights the awesome concept of having to dick around with gear sets to get the right 'presentation' score to unlock sidequests to get XP to finish the level. There is a money/banking system where the player stores gold cock rings on the shaft of Aina's dick after defeating invisible monsters, and cash them in for weapons and/or gear. This is where its get confusing as there are only a small amount of inventory slots, and whether you have to choose before you start a new level or if monsters drop gear, or shops in world have better shit, and you have to trash gear already purchased just to look more pretty. You can be pretty sure Arkh hasn't thought this through either.
Miracles Another 'fun' concept discussed in Arkh's last interview was the Miracle system which are a set of powers that you can attach to Aina. It seems to be the case that you have to choose Miracles before you are spawned on the new level. These Miracles can be something like being able to find all the treasure on a map or breathe underwater or be able to ram multiple dildos up Aina's anus and shoot them at enemies for critical damage. At the start of the game, you start with about 10, but as the game progresses, you start losing access to them all as you lose God Energy and need to pick. Of course since you can repeat the levels, you can choose different Miracles each time. The Arkh Project believe that this is key to the replayability of the game.
God Energy and Life XP
God Energy seems to be the amount of points you can spend on your God powers before entering a stage. As you progress through the game you seem to become more retarded therefore lose God Energy and be unable to purchase Miracles. However there is also Life XP which allows you to actually buy God Energy. So in effect you can save up all your Life XP until the end level and then spend it on God Energy to keep your Miracles at maximum, but pfft sure Arkh gameplay will allow you to do something so simple like that so expect a giant dickmove along the same lines as the combat where something will appear and skullfuck the LifeXP from your diseased corpse if you fall in battle.
— Can't advance until you finish sidequests, wow brilliant!
Things had been quiet on the Arkh Project but in October 2012 Riley posted on facebook that an upcoming video would be posted soon. Arkh fans proceeded to wet themselves like an excited dog that finally, something they could point to da racist whitey haters and laugh at them.
Almost immediately, Arkh fans started screaming and cutting themselves that their browsers were broken and it wasn't playing the video. Those who hadn't An Heroed realised that indeed the video was 1 second long.....not even a proper run cycle of Aina. Arkh also promised that video footage of levels would be released shortly, but a month later nothing has been posted.
Ultimate Goal of the Game
- Complete Ain's memory: Because having two of your friends who are Gods sit down and use their powers to help Aina repiece their memory/talk to them is a retarded idea.
- Complete the memory of Ain's lover, Haruka. Yep Aina will re-piece Haruka's memory for him. Aina's a God, so can make Haruka totally love them, completely owning his 14 year old ass. Totally not creepy amirite?
- To defeat all
enemieswhite people and complete the story, hopefully finding a new place where Haruka and Ain can live together in peace.
- Utterly fail to make this piece of shit game, whereby Arkh/Riley can scream with righteous fury on Tumblr that butthurt whiteys totally stopped this amazing project...just like the other three times before...and the anime business.
The bullshit world has been developed as two Realms, the Corporeal and the Astral.
This realm consists of five dimensions from 1 to 5, each with their own set of beings. If you can figure out what the fuck a one dimensional being is, then you can join the Arkh team as a writer and start the fuck over. Apparently, the planet Earth and its inhabitants are third dimensional beings, leaving us to possibly attain two more dimensions. Fourth dimensional beings are actually fucking SLAVES (nice equality there, fucktards) to the fifth dimensional beings, so if any Third Dimensional beings attain Fourth Dimensional status, you can kiss that free will goodbye and enjoy your millennia of servitude, dumbass.
But wait! If you attain that sweet sweet Fifth Dimensional being status, you are literally nothing but a host of a Sixth Dimensional being. Since Sixth Dimensional beings experience neither life or death, they must skullfuck their form into the nearest fifth dimensional being that kneels before the altar with their mouths open for all that astral jizz. Though a Sixth Dimensional being can impregnate themselves into a Third Dimensional being for x2 XP and stat buffs. LOL WUT?!
Sixth Dimensional beings, or 'Arkhs', are neither alive or dead, but apparently need money, weapons and equipment despite there being no war in this dimension. Imagine any JRPG town where there is a shop, bank, inn, portal/door/sphincter that you can be crapped out at the next 'battle arena/herb garden' and no PvP and you have Weeaboo heaven. Apparently it takes a million years for an Arkh to go to school and graduate (roughly the same amount of time it takes for the game designers to shit out a Design Document) or they fail the test and are executed, though one can see a merit to this.
The Arkh Project continually bills themselves as a progressive studio encouraging gay, POC and transgendered people who apparently can't work in the games industry because whitey is out to get them. They achieve this by continually making calls for people to help by asking for Volunteers so they don't have to pay them. They have to pay that $5,000 bill for 9 pieces of concept art somehow. So far over the course of the project they have asked for volunteer Designers, artists, Developers, UI artists, 3D Modellers and Testers. Pretty much an entire gaming studio.
UPDATE: Holy shit, the Arkh Project have called for volunteer writers to work on the storyline...thats right VOLUNTEER for up to 12 hours a week of your free time, you too can lend a hand to actually write a storyline for the game. It might have to do with The Arkh Project realising that the head writer Riley spends all day on Tumblr
writing yaoi fanfics of whatever shitty anime they are currently into now obsessing over Legend of Korra and how she is a "white savior," or how Korra was voiced by a white women...you have no idea how obsessed. Or how Riley wants to cut white people. Also since Riley was chased off Livejournal last year because even Livejournal thought 'they' were too much , they can't post in communities looking for ideas they can rip of and present as their own as seen here. 404'd
Arkh allies have repeatedly reblogged Tumblr posts pointing out that you can email Arkh and they will provide a list of paid staff, which is the equivalent of asking someone how good they are in bed, ie they will fucking lie. You can also go to the wiki and realise thats a load of fucking bullshit anyway.
Riley is the batshit insane head writer and 'inspiration' for The Arkh Project. From the multiple posts on tumblr Riley has a servere case of racism, yet is trying to bring people of multiple ethnicities and sexualities together- and doing it by hating anyone who isn't. From hating on Jews, white trans and disabled folk who she believes never understands the horrors blacks went through (la gaspa- holocaust/left to die seem to be non-existant). Riley states that it is being oppressed and that white people are never going to forgiven for what their ancestors had done (shit son that cray because that like an eye for an eye, which make the whole world blind). Riley also suffers by having symptoms of 'ghetto' despite probably never lived in one. The common words from this species is doe- which is the short for though (this makes you sound retarded) It also has autism- in which its family wouldn't let it hold a baby because of it. HA. Riley not only puts back the effort of those of colour and Queer back to time of the mammoths and is a embarrassment to them. RILEY IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE THE REASON WHY PEOPLE ARE BECOMING RACIST/HOMOPHOBIC ON THE INTERNET YOU BUTTFACE. Riley has a tumblr and it is dumbthingswhitepplsay.tumblr.com. In real life Riley is Nikkia Hanson, a 25 year old transgender queer who lives in New York and a graduated illustrator, but even they admit they have no talent, so bills themself as 'freelance' while spending the day manufacturing outrage on Tumblr and fapping to fantasies that their parents die in a ditch so the insurance money can pay for the game. Pure class eh?
UPDATE: LOL Riley is back at school studying, doing things like taking Japanese 101 classes, computer science and math (which she has to beg Tumblr to do their homework for them) and also magically finding friends that have exactly the same likes/hates/interests as Riley. It won't be long before Riley hits up their new 'frands' for thousands of dollars since the J-rock/ Visual Kei band scene in the local areas are well aware of Rileys tactics. It hasn't been confirmed if a local high school full of 14 year olds is nearby.
—No they just don't give a shit about you.
In September 2012, as a testatment as to how easily Riley gets butthurt, Tumblr users proceeded to goad Riley into commenting that, in proof that God does not exist and/or died from embarrassment of the human race about 500 years ago, the excerable MS Pain Adventures threw a kickstarter for a videogame of Homestuck, which proceeded to generate over $700,000 in a week. Hey if Penny Arcade can beg people to fund their shitty webcomic and made half a million, why not another fancomic that generates retards, furries and cosplayers to fag up conventions?
The thing is, the whole issue was fake and Homestuck is nothing like the Arkh project. But that didn't stop a Tumblr user sending a fake ask to the Arkh Project that THEY DIDN'T EVEN SEND, just posted the screenshot under the #Arkh tag. Riley proceeded to not care by calling Homestuck...well, let you have first guess....
Also repeatedly posting tags and "Homestuck Free Zone" posts while the rest of Tumblr pissed itself laughing that Riley would spend the time and energy even dealing with this stupid shit.
- Riley / Seira / Gisei_Nashi_Ni / SmallBlackAngel /dumbthingwhitepplsay(Tmblr) / squirrelydanger / Kyuubishiniobi
Advertising and Drama
The Arkh Project has stirred up enough people through their tweets and Tumblrs to get people asking questions. The Arkh team respond to this kind of criticism thinking that it's purely because the characters are trans and PoC and it's just white ass honkies out to get them. Even Riley is now completely convinced that this whole thing is purely about "them," because they are so much smarter than everyone else on the planet. The Arkh Project also screams outrage whenever an uppity nigra disagrees such a project accusing them of 'white identifying.'
The Arkh Project supports the Trans and PoC community by forcing the white staff to work as volunteers and pay everyone else. Because of this, Indegogo asked Arkh to stop the job advert because it might be breaking anti-discrimination laws because trolls filed complaints. Arkh took this as that whitey was trying to bring them down and responded maturely and appropriately.
Of course since laws were made by White People, including anti-discrimination laws, it was a vast conspiracy to keep The Arkh Project from earning precious dollars from the gay/trans/PoC community. The subsequent signal boost actually stirred up enough fucktards that even Neil Gaiman and Gail Simone retweeted it without actually reading the content. Also the irony that these two are white are not lost on most people
Then Kotaku picked up the story with this and presented this as a new opportunity, the author of the article being fucking blind and unable to use Google. The Arkh allies started reblogging the story fawning of Kotaku, until user "BubbleF**kingBuddy" posted about Riley and their meme, and Kotaku released an "Update" about Riley's activities and their funding. Arkh allies proceeded to foam like rabid pigs at the injustice of it all.
Double Fine Games
Double Fine games are a small Indy company that has been putting out small titles across PC and console platforms, which a few are surprisingly not shit, and the company actually having a bit of a rep, and a CEO Tim Shafley not spending the day on Tumblr and sucking cock. At the same time the Arkh Project were raising funds to fund this Pulitzer prize winning story, Double Fine also started a fundraiser for their next project through Kickstarter where they asked for $400,000. It was also interesting to point out that a $15 contribution would actually get you a copy of the full game compared to $500 for a copy of Arkh. Within a few days, Double Fine raised over $1 million, to which The Arkh Project proceeded to lose their shit over the injustice of it all and accusing queers and blacks of selling out. At the same time, the most retarded memes hit 4Chan and Arkh's allies proceeded to reblog it to a sustained laughter that Arkh actually believed this meme would work.
The Arkh Project is part of a series on
Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.
The Arkh Project is part of a series on
Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.