From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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|Did you mean The Wannabe Dickriders?|
The Dickriders are a super-team of extremist Coughlan fanboys that have taken faggotry to a new level. Anybody that dares criticize their hero will certainly enjoy a series of intellectual comments and video responses from these sad and pathetic loser assholes that come out of the woodwork to throw in their two cents and tell you to STFU.
How To Spot A Dickrider
Dickriders can usually be found whining in the comments section of YouTube videos that are critical of Coughlan. It is practically a given that they will be bitching about Thunderf00t or Pat Condell. To separate a true Coughlan Dickrider from the rest of the howling pack of bawwing fanboys, look out for the streak of fundamentalism in their writing. Or better still; just check out Coughlan's to see them all grovel around their internet celebrity's ankles... sucking up to him in hopes to boost their subscriber numbers on YouTube.
The Usual Suspects
The usual suspects are not hard to spot because they tend to give themselves away right off the bat. They are:
InfidelAvenger aka "SourBlaze" (Powerword: David Hornal) is a submissive little white knight bitch. Kind of like a distant retarded cousin of Hallcyon, he acts as a sycophantic butler to Coughlan instead of TheAmazingAtheist; whom David despises because TJ is an e-beggar. It deludes David that whining about The Amazing Atheist and his e-begging while defending Coughlan's charity scam makes him look like a hypocritical doofus.
Who can argue with bulletproof logic like David's? He justified Coughlan's actions by rationalizing that Coughlan was more desperate than Brett Keane or The Amazing Atheist. In fact, if Coughlan were to return to his old ways... he would be forced into a life of petty crime and therefore become a burden to society. We wouldn't want that would we? Oh no, it's a lot to ask for a guy to actually get off his ass and find a fucking job, isn't it?
David really got his innards in a knot when Spartanmindset made a video where he showed a picture of his sickly niece, who was dying of cancer. Spartanmindset was foolish enough to try and make a point; by comparing the suffering of a little girl with a serious illness to the petulant whining of an irritable thirty year old asshole comedian that's too busy ripping off charities to actually get a fucking job.
David went apeshit and started doc-hunting for information about Spartanmindset's sister; Tweeting out thinly-veiled little threats. He's a sad and gutless little asshole who preens on the internet, because he's a failure at life and a complete waste of skin. Even his father doesn't like him, which is why the dude went postal and pulled a fucking gun on him and his brother. He's been a sad, depressed little cunt ever since. Let's just hope he decides to do the right thing.
Has his own article now. Click the image below
StanMarsh1 (Powerword:Andrew Henderson) is a neckbearded virgin that usually shows up in comments section to try and throw snarky digs at people he thinks are less intelligent than him. He was one of the mindless lemmings that came out of the woodwork to defend Coughlan against allegations of copyright and charity fraud. He went at it back and forth with another YouTube user in a series of PWNage videos that made himself look completely fucking stupid when every one of his points were shredded apart. StanMarsh1 can usually be found at the end of a leash, like at one YouTube meet-up where he was lead around by a fat fucking German whale named .
SoretaYuki (Powerword: Jules Thorpe-Smith) is the low-rent version of Coughlan666. Another boring ass YouTuber with nothing of much substance to say, other than that he's coming back and he's going to kick some serious ass. Though, when he's actually going to show up and quit hyping his grand return remains a mystery. Yuki decided to throw his hat into the ring when Coughlan got all butt-hurt when Raoul DeMarest made a video expressing his belief that religion was a mental illness - and just happened to have used Coughlan's signature catchphrase "May God be less." Certainly, this is serious business and warrants a PWNage master like SoretaYuki to come out of retirement and lay down some serious YouTube whoop-ass.
DeamonCohln (That's pronounced "DEMON COLON") is a sheltered wannabe Detroit metal-head. Instead he comes across as more of a mall brat. The kind that wears his Marilyn Manson t-shirt underneath his grandpa's sweater. Hangs out at the mall carrying a skateboard and shops for jewelry at Spencer's. This emo-faggot momma's boy tried to pick a fist-fight over the internet with another YouTube nobody... only to chicken out when that person posted his home address and called his bluff. He came back with a lame excuse about not being able to cross the border, even though he previously stated that he would fight him "anytime anywhere."
Deamon is a fail-troll and often shows up in comments sections to bitch out anti-Coughlan critics and make stupid videos wearing his mother's bathrobe and a shower turban on his head, making him resemble The Love Guru. He is also so desperate to appear threatening that he once posted a video where he pointed a gun at his temple and kept daring to pull the trigger. As if that would do anything more than make a few people LOL and wish that this fucktard would actually have the balls to load the gun and pull the trigger.
DeveChelle2 (Powerword: Robert Slockbower or more aptly Robert Sockblower) is a dirty manwhore from New Jersey that's slowly dying of HIV/AIDS (it's the same fucking thing). He sucks up to Coughlan for a very personal reason. You see, Coughlan was at one time, supposed to marry xxxThePeachxxx, a popular YouTuber and attention whore. Except that... contrary to Coughlan's personal beliefs, The Peach (I could eat a peach for hours) was not planning to marry the Dick for love; but for convenience. See, her dad finally got fed up and kicked her skank ass to the curb. So she did what any woman in her situation would do... shacked up with the first YouTuber she could.
The plan to marry Dick was only so she could obtain a Visa and move to England. But a prince rode in on a white horse offering a place to stay. So she thought, "To hell with Coughlan, I don't have to move to the England now!" Thus, drama was born (See: Coughlan666#Relationship_and_Downfall).
Now, xxxThePeachxxx and DevChelle2 suck up to Coughlan... or suffer his wrath. Coughlan has moved on to the next Relationship of the Week so his butthurt is satiated for the time being. For now, they are united against a common foe: Raoul Demarest Some old geezer that's busting their balls and separating "all you little a's from us Big A's." So now it's on! The Internet Tough Guys have all come out to play against an old senile man and his schizophrenic wife. Real class from the atheism movement on YouTube. Hilarity ensues when Raoul offers to pay him a visit. That's when Dev flies into a butthurt rage and the threats come out. Issuing such deadly nuggets like how he was going to "make a widow out of his wife."
The Skeptical Heretic
The typical face you would find while glancing the sex offender registry? This pedophile is another one of Coughlan's lackeys. His butt-hurt runs so deep that he couldn't help trying to vandalize this very article and retaliate by writing a very poorly written and unfunny article about Raoul DeMarest. Skep's hobbies include being an ugly fucking jew, crying like a bitch, sucking the dick of the dick and pretending to be employed. Not only is this guy so fucking stupid, he couldn't find his own ass with two hands behind his back - but it should be bloody obvious where it is, since it's the large throbbing eyesore bleeding from all the times he's bent over for his Lord and Master, the failed comedian.
Subject's Note: Shangi is so butthurt over a few twitter battles that he added me here. His latest conspiracy theory addled nonsense can be found here - Start at the top and enjoy the lulz.
Note to Subject: Skep is so butthurt that he got included on this page that he wrote a crappy "The Wannabe Dickriders" page as a response to this one. It started out as a section he added to this very article until ED got wise and moved it to its own article. It's pretty poorly written, filled with the usual petty, humourless whining that only a Dickrider can dream up. The fact that he's writing on an article written about him to link to his own crappy article is documentary evidence of his raging butt-hurt. Somebody call this fucktard a wambulance.
Another Coughlan fanboi that has been trying to re-edit this page by inserting the usual Dickriderisms. Anybody that makes fun of Coughlan is "obsessed" according to the Dickriders, so that's what they'll insert. They'll even cry and pretend they're not Dickriders, when they so obviously are. Only a dickrider would make the same point over and over again that people make fun of Coughlan are "obsessed" with him, even though they're the ones that are butt-hurt enough to jump to a no-talent comedian's defence and try to vandalize an ED article written about him and his butt-hurt fans.
Attempts to Vandalize This Page
So far there have been two attempts made by both The Skeptical Heretic and GreatBearPark14, two known Coughlan fantards, to re-edit this page and inserting that exact kind of crap that only Dickriders say when their little fee-fees are getting hurt. Sorry, boys, but if you're that upset about this article, maybe you should start your own and tell us all how you really feel.
Shit That Dickriders Say
- "Why are you picking on Coughlan?"
- "You're just jealous because Coughlan has more subscribers than you."
- "STFU! Coughlan is a funny comedian and you're just jelly!"
- "You're a faggot."
- "You just hate Coughlan!"
- "You're obsessed."
- "If you don't like Coughlan, why watch his videos?"
How To Troll The Dickriders
- Make fun of Coughlan666
- Compare Coughlan666 to Brett Keane.
- Use his lame-ass catchphrases in a YouTube video, even though "May God be less," was never a registered trademark.
- Make fun of the Muslims.
- Make fun of his welfare "stand-up comedy" act.
- Call them "Little A" atheists and watch how mad they get when you compare them to Atheism+.
- Explain how feminism is fucking retarded. Yep, they are all feminists. No wonder there.
- Just look at that The Wannabe Dickriders page they made. They were told to take their weak shit somewhere else and quit trying to re-edit this page with their achy butt-hurt.
- Ask User:GreatBearPark14 "What good is being an anti-Semite, if you have a Jewnose?"
- Tell InfidelAvenger (David Hornal) to check his white privilege (seriously).
- Tell Unseenperfidy (Or whatever the fuck his name is now) that he failed as a SJW.
his OkCupid profile Members only
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|Featured article February 2nd & 3rd, 2014|
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