Star Wars: The Old Republic

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Notice how this game is simply an unoriginal re-mash of the original trilogy + elements from the newer episodes.

Once upon a time, a game developing company named BioWare decided to make a game based in the Star Wars universe, called Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Plot twist! Instead of playing a RPG as a character from the actual story line, you become a knight who is living over 9,000 years before the actual story picks up. It turned out to be less fail then expected, fanboys loved the bullshit. Then, Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords came out. BioWare saw the pointless turn based RPG set so far in the past of the Star Wars series a dying cause, and gave it to some other shitty company.

Well, now BioWare is back, better and stronger then ever (proof being Mass Effect's successful release!). They have released that they will be releasing an MMO based in the Old Republic universe. It's called, Star Wars: The Old Republic (SW:ToR). It is still in development, but we can soon expect major lulz branching from this hump of fail. Released and was a hump of fail a few months from release.

One of its major problems was the fucking gigantic size of the download required to play it, meaning that those with normal or crappy internet were pretty much screwed if they wanted to play.

Playable Races

  • Human - Just another common race everybody picks like all other MMORPGs.
  • Human with tentacles - All guys play as female Twi'leks to erotic role play.
  • Human with horns - Bunch of Darth Maul clones. Regular skin if Republic, red skin if Empire.
  • Robot Human - Humans with cyborg implants. Nothing new. Moving on.
  • Blind Human - Humans born with blindfolds instead of eyes.
  • Green Human - Green skinned tattoo looking humans.
  • Red Human - Red ugly sith humans with droopy looking skins on their face.
  • Blue Human - Blue skinned people that look like they came from Willy Wonka's factory.
  • Emo Human - Bald and gothic looking emos.


Apparently there are "huge dramatic" choices that will make "real" impacts. They claim no other MMO has ever really told a story and has no actual in-game story line. They enjoy "Stylized Realism" instead of good graphics too! It will apparently be a Star Wars-themed Guild Wars.


With the rapidly declining amount of subscribers SWTOR took away their "Unsubscribe" button and is now going free to play with an item shop. This game is made of fail and Bioware tears.

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