The Real Chris-chan

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Fakevsrealcwc.jpg
A wild CWC appears!
TMIL0809.jpg
Chris and the homies.

YouTube Favicon.png CChanSonichuCWC was the YouTube account of the real Chris-chan, aka Liquid Chris (also referred to as "The Brown-Shirted Impostor" and "Jeffrey" by the fake Chris-chan), that was created after YouTube Favicon.png CChanSonichu was banned.

There's a lot of drama related to it because someone had set up the now-closed account YouTube Favicon.png IBAChandler to impersonate Chris, and it had fooled a great number of people.

The Real Chris-chan was having an internet relationship with a "girl" named Kacey, whom the impostor was trying to steal. Given the past history of Chris's internet romances, it was only a matter of time before he figured out that Kacey was just another troll and had his heart shattered even moreso.

A Challenger Appears

Chris vs. Chris

In Julay of 2009, when Chris-chan's CChanSonichu account was banned by YouTube, people wondered where he would go next. His old account YouTube Favicon.png CChan6789 was still active but remained untouched. Then someone came across the IBAChandler account.

IBAChandler contained previously posted Chris-chan videos, and then one new video called "Rollin' and Trollin'," where someone who didn't look at all like Chris-chan walked around town claiming to be him. People immediately began to doubt the authenticity of this terrible impostor.

The red flags:

  • He had a teenage hairstyle instead of a Chris-chan hairstyle.
  • He had a goatee instead of being clean-shaven.
  • He was wearing sunglasses instead of large, square eyeglasses.
  • At one point he showed a pair of square glasses to the camera, revealing how they're fake glasses that don't correct his vision.
  • He wore a plain t-shirt instead of the typical striped shirt.
  • He wore a vest.
  • He wore dog-collar bracelets.
  • Thick prison tattoos covered his forearms.
  • Instead of a Sonichu medallion, he wore some blue piece of plastic.
  • Instead of liking PS3 over Xbox, he preferred Xbox.


Gallery of a fake, slanderous impostor and balding troll

The Impostor Gets Exposed

The real Chris-chan next to his Death Note on Billy Mays's picture.
The real Chris-chan holding up his Death Note and looking bloodthirsty.

Within a month, people discovered that IBAChandler was a fake, and that his real name was Ian Brandon Anderson. They learned that the real Chris-chan was using the account CChanSonichuCWC.

The real Chris-chan bested IBAChandler in many ways, including:

  • Having better guitar skills.
  • Being able to make lots of Sonichu merchandise, and actually sell it.
  • Owning an exquisite Sonichu plush doll.
  • Having way more comics.
  • Being skeptical of the Xbox, which he expressed when a company offered to make a Sonichu game for the console.
  • Owning a picture of Billy Mays left over from when he killed him by voodoo.


Now exposed as a fake, Ian went on a rampage. He locked comments on his videos, banned people who outed him as an impostor, and went around making videos denouncing the real Chris-chan. He even tried to cover his lies by buying a Sonichu medallion from him.

Ian even started copying the real Chris-chan on YouTube. Seeing how CChanSonichuCWC would always set lots of YouTube users as his friend, at the end of Julay 2009, IBAChandler started adding users as friends, too.

Ian was relentless and would not give up the ruse, and things would only get uglier from there.

In a desperate attempt to convince the non-believers, the impostor shaved his goatee

Jimmy Hill Knows Better

Now how will we tell which Chris is real?

Jimmy Hill, if you didn't know, owned the copyright and trademark for Sonichu in Europe and Asia, but not in the Americas. This was all fine when he was younger, but Jimmy Hill was now over 80 years old and had to retire. So he passed his rights onto the person who owns them in America, Christian Weston Chandler.

Jimmy Hill used lawyers to determine who the real Chris-chan was, and they even had confirmation via driver's license.


In Julay of 2009, Hill made the following announcement on his website (OFFLINE - archived here):

*** Jimmy Hill has retired. ***

He has made so much money now that it's time to pass on the flame. From now on the one TRUE creator and distributor of Sonichu merchandise can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/CChanSonichuCWC



All other Sonichu Merchandise is FAKE.

Thanks to the millions of Sonichu fans around the world for all of their support!

The Singstar Challenge: CChanSonichuCWC vs. IBAChandler

2009 poster
Guitar Heroes.

Seething with rage, the fake CWC, aka Ian Brandon Anderson, challenged the true, honest CWC to a singing competition.

Not one to let his fans down, our beloved, true, honest Chris-chan took up the challenge head on. He blew Ian Brandon Anderson out of the water with every performance, in an effort to lay the damn dirty troll to rest once and for all.

Nuvola
Moar info: The Singstar Challenge.

Chris Confronts The Troll Head On

Chris calls the impostor

This means war!

The Truth Behind It All

Sammy as an exact replica of Ian.

Although Chris and Ian claim not to have known each other previously, it turns out they actually did. Long before Chris's internet fame, he created a Ghostbusters skit in his Sonichu #7 comic. In it, he drew a character named Sammy, who was clearly modeled after none other than Ian Brandon Anderson.

Ian drawn as "Sammy" in Sonichu #7.

This reveals how Ian was able to know all those personal details about Chris, and how he was even able to gain access to Chris's yearbooks. They've known each other since high school!

As you can see here, the true Chris-chan is completely skinny with no large gut or manboobs, just like how the real Chris is skinny in the comics.

OH NOES!!!

Following the ruling of the judges in the SingStar competition, the real Chris was rightfully declared the winner. He posted this video in response:

In it, Chris thanks his girlfriend Kacey for accepting his recent marriage proposal and states that he'll be moving to Redmond soon to work on a Sonichu game in conjunction with Microsoft and Nintendo.

Ian, being the slanderous troll that he is, responded with this:

In it, Ian goes completely batshit, having fully convinced himself that he is actually the one true Chris. If I'm not mistaken, he even tells you to go to his ED page to see the truth for yourselves. This fooled nobody, and everyone knew that he was still just a try-hard impostor.

Suddenly, to everyone's shock and dismay, the following video was posted to the real Chris's YouTube channel:

That's right, dear readers: IAN B. ANDERSON KIDNAPPED OUR BELOVED CHRIS!

Our hopes and prayers went out to Chris during that dark and unimaginable period of time, and may Ian rot in the deepest fiery pits of hell for all eternity for what he did.

While some misguided fools may have thought the kidnapping video was fake, the real Chris's fiance posted a now-deleted video where she stated that Chris really had gone missing, proving that the 'GONE' video was in fact true.

To further steal the real Chris-chan's identity, the impostor closed his IBAChandler account and created a new one, YouTube Favicon.png ChristianWChandler, where he re-uploaded many of his old videos.

REBORN

On October 15, 2009, the real Chris suddenly returned to the tubes unscathed and ready for war.


Chris shows us his Chun-Li fighting skills, daring Ian to do battle with him.



Ultimately, Chris buried Ian's lies for good when he showed proof of his copyright ownership over Sonichu and announced that Kacey's dad had officially given him his blessing to marry her.


If there ever existed such a thing as SUPER OWNAGE, this is it.

Disproved Theories

Chris and Kacey get married.
A new challenger awaits!

The real CWC :

  • Is just being a drama queen and has gone into hiding.
  • Got someone not involved to film himself being treated like the fail Batman from the Dark Knight.
  • Is a lot smarter than what we are giving him credit for.

The fake CWC :


Or :


In light of Chris's return, we can only assume he (the honest and true Chris) is speaking the truth (with great honesty) in regards to his capture, rape, and subsequent escape from Ian.

It was later reported that the real CWC was happily married to his beloved Kacey and living off of earnings from his Sonichu merchandise, while Ian was still posting masses of stupid videos to YouTube out of butthurt rage. This would go on for a while until he accidentally burned his own house down, destroying all his counterfeit Sonichu merchandise along with it. The nightmare was finally over.

While the details are obviously a little sketchy as to what exactly happened to the real CWC, and why he didn't file a police report for being violated by Ian... these are questions that may never be answered, and perhaps better left that way. On a positive note, he finally got the patent for Sonichu! Good job CWC! =) Thanks for the brilliant performance! Best of luck with the franchise and HIT THAT GOOD!

The Real Liquid Chris

"Liquid" Chris Duckworth (left) swaggin' with his brother Jon.

His real name is Christopher Morton Duckworth (born 1990) and he's from Colorado Springs, CO. Him and his brother Jon had mad swag growing up together.

Chris has a withered left arm after a cancerous part of it had to be surgically removed during his childhood. As a result of this, he studied molecular biology at the University of Denver Archive today-ico.png (archive) and then Archive today-ico.png relocated to North Charleston, SC to work as a man of science.

While Chris was making webcam videos pretending to be Chris-chan, his brother Jon had two active channels of his own. Sometime after Jon's channels started getting popular, in 2011, Chris deleted his channel and stopped making videos all together. All that remains of him online anymore is a private Fb-favicon.png Facebook profile (BALEETED) an old MY.gif Myspace account. Liquid Chris's YouTube channel may be gone, but his legacy lives on.

Because they looked identical during their teen years, some people think that Jon Duckworth was actually Liquid Chris, but distinguishing physical features rule that out.

Notice the similarities and same mole on Chris and Liquid Chris's neck. Jon's nose is bigger and he has a mole between his eyebrows, whereas Liquid Chris does not.


The Real Kacey

The one, true Kacey.
Kacey's failed FGAS attempt

Her real name is Siana S. Duckworth (maiden name Riven, born in 1983), and she actually DID marry Chris IRL.

Their entry at amazingregistry.com was removed, but it still turns up in online searches of her name (Archive today-ico.png (archive)/screencap). She grew up in Maryland and currently lives in South Carolina with Chris.

Her annoying voice hinted at her possibly being a fatty, and her Archive today-ico.png Facebook page unfortunately backs that up.


   
 
No, you haven't found the correct Siana. Now move along, nothing to see here.
 

 
 

Siana Duckworth. Denial, or cry for attention? YOU decide.


She deleted her Twitter-favicon.png Twitter and abandoned her Google Plus Favicon.png Google+ page; and privatized her Fb-favicon.png cherrysodabubbles (Archive today-ico.png archived b4 deleted), her only online outlet, where she leaved helpful comments on subjects she's mastered and well accustomed to, such as beauty and being kind to others.

Life after Chris-chan, 5 years later

Non-liquid Chris Duckworth today.
1D backup singer Jon Duckworth in 2014.

While his brother's internet career ended with deleting his YouTube channel, Jon (born Julay 24) knew that pretending to be an aspie lolcow would never make him rich and famous, so instead he went full YouTube celebrity status as Jon D, aka SimplySpoons.

He currently sings love songs in California and whores himself out on every social networking site possible, where he makes no reference to his brother's former persona so as not to affect his positive image or budding music career.


See also:


"Who am I? Who are you? I don't even know myself at all..."
(Dedicated to Chris-chan and the epic memory of his identity crisis)




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Featured article August 5, 2009
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