Ryan Lambourn

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SandyRyan.jpg
Ryan has time to make games because he isn't busy getting laid, pay special attention to the cute prepubescent hitler-mustache.


Ryan Lambourn (AKA "PiGPEN") is the creator of the smash-hit games The Slaying of Sandy Hook Elementary School and V-tech Rampage which were created to educate and teach the dangers of no gun control to everybody and, at the same time, caused a massive media freakout.

V-tech Rampage

Vtech Gameplay
End screen

His first successful game was this 2007 breakout hit where you play as Cho Seung-Hui as he brought great justice to Virginia Tech.

Gameplay: You move with the arrows, shoot people and talk to them if you are a boring twat. A retarded monkey could do it so it might be a little too much for you.

<shootsraphics: This shit looks like it was made with an RPG Maker version made specifically for the blind. The buildings are boxes, the people are square and Cho himself is the only one there was any point in putting any detail into so he is about three times bigger than everyone else and his head looks like an inflated tumor.

Fun and Replay Value: Shooting down a little pixilated avatar of a nigger with a comically stereotypical afro, as he runs around and screams in an ill-fitting voice, never gets old.

Level 1

Go out, shoot Emily, kill anyone who noticed you shooting her and go back inside. The option to rape and eat her body was not added, detracting from lulz for the sake of the never-ending pursuit towards historical accuracy.

Level 2

Go back in, record your tape and go back outside to mail it. Avoid the cops in a Pac-man like game who arrest you for no reason (just like in real life) and then go into the school to let the fun begin.

Level 3

On the final level you have 1:30 minutes to kill or injure everyone. Sadly, because the game is a glitchy piece of shit, even if you kill everyone you still don't get to see the ending cutscene. If you could, you would see our hero become an hero and fall to the floor with the word "Ismail" crved into his arm. Don't forget the tissues that you will need for this touching event.

Aftermath

Want the game gone? Pay me money

The game caused an unexpected backlash. Ryan was interviewed by several news shows and newgrounds was flooded with demands to take the game down, this being the first funny thing to come out of that site in years. Taking the chance to either make some money or just troll people harder, Ryan posted on his site that he will... Well... read it for yourself:

Vtechgamemoney.jpg


But, no one was willing to give him money so he said he was just doing it for the lulz. Eventually he caved under the pressure and took this notice down. Replacing it with the less funny, yet still pretty good notice that read:


   
 
I will never make a pun again if the donation amount reaches $1000 US, i'll never make a sarcastic comment if it reaches $2000 US, and i will never push the ironic envelope again if it reaches $3000 US.
 

 
 

RIAA hating

RIAA turned out to have no sense of humor and sent a DMCA to Jewgrounds because the game had licensed music. To remedy this, the song was replaced with a new song called "Fuck RIAA".

Quotes

   
 
FOR FUCKS SAKE IT WAS A JOKE
 

 
 

—Lambourn, Cracking under the pressure

   
 
I am a heartless bastard, who is perfectly content laughing at the hypocracy of everyone and taking my title as troll of the year
 

 
 

—2007, Regarding why he made the V-tech game

   
 
i don't see that as my need to wait for them to build up a tolerance to pain
 

 
 

—On why he made the game the moment the shooting happened

   
 
Do a barrel roll
 

 
 

—What he has to say to people who didn't like it

Part 2:The Slaying of Sandy Hook Elementary School

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Tsoshgameplay2.jpg

Sadly, the EDF2 project of making a game about Sandy Hook was ended prematurely when the demo, Bullet to the Head of the NRA, ended up on Fox news and there was no point to continue. Lucky, Ryan came to the rescue. After a few years hiatus, and back by popular demand, he returned with a new game in 2013 called The Slaying of Sandy Hook Elementary School.

Learning from past mistakes, he decided to disguise this one as a game about gun control... This, however, only caused more butthurt.

Gameplay: You move like a zombie, swing swords like a narcoleptic and shoot like an autistic... Which makes sense since you are playing as Adam Lanza.

Graphics: A bunch of colorful shadows and little else. Looks cool for something made with the minimum amount of effort and skill at Flash one could muster and the blood splatters are fun to watch.

Fun and Replay Value: As fun as it is to kill small children (again, sadly no rape option is available) the game is as tedious as its pretend political message. The game visibly suffer from a lack of a killing-spree mode.

Level 1

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The first level is the historical mode. This one reenacts the events as they happened. Adam Lanza gets the gun, shoots his mom, shoots his mom again for the lulz and goes off to kill a bunch of lolis. Much fun is had despite the fact that you move at a snail's pace and your feet make sounds like you are stepping in a pool of jizz with ever step. Still, it is pretty entertaining and you end the level with the final solution.

Level 2

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Level 2 is the Gun Control mode. Here, instead of a gun, you have a katana. As badass as this sounds, you swing it with arthritic skill to make sure all the kids get away. This is to reinforce the idea that, had he not been able to get a gun, Adam would not have killed as many people. You are also informed that, without the gun, Adam would have needed a hammer to get through the schools door as if he has no opposable thumbs or something. The chance to have a stealth mode is tragically missed and Adam tries to kill himself with pills, in lieu of a gun, which somehow knock him out instantaneously.

Level 3

Eaglesandy.jpg

EagleTears Mode. Where all some of the teachers have guns and the precision of a man with Parkinson's. The game is designed so that all the teachers shoot everything but you. Despite you being the only full grown adult besides them they still point the gun downwards, shoot once every 30 seconds like their lives aren't in danger and stop shooting if you get in the line of fire between them and the kids. Even though in most playthroughs the armed teachers don't hit a single thing (not even kids) the end screen still informs you that, due to lax gun laws, all kids have been slain. Again, Adam shoots himself.

Tom Fulp: King of Hypocrite Sellouts

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Fulp, being a bigger sellout than GirlVinyl could ever dream to be (not physically, obviously), decided to take the game down.

It is important to mention that Fulp is the one who made the game "Pico School" in 1999. For those who do not know, Pico School was a parody of Columbine made by Fulp personally, which included dozens upon dozens of dead bodies, scat, extreme violence, nudity, and even more disturbing content. Not only did he make this game himself, he laughed when people got mad at it and has spent the last 17+ YEARS bragging about this game and having an annual "Pico Day" on Newgrounds. Thus, this makes Tom Fulp the biggest hypocrite on the face of the internet.

After being baleeted from NG, Ryan uploaded his game to SWFchan and was saved just in case right here on Encyclopaedia Dramatica, for great justice!

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Compare the game he made with the game he banned

Other Projects

Ryan is an ancientfag of JewGrounds, using the site since the early 2000s. An obscure school shooting, the Red Lake massacre, saw 10 people dead including the shooter. Immediately after the news got out, Ryan got to work and made a flash parody which saw the shooter kill his family and drive to his school while Numa Numa music played. Sadly, this flash was destroyed by the fags over at NG after they deleted every project on the site that used copyrighted music- aside from Toms shitty flashes obviously.

See Also

Responding to tweets about the Sandy Hook game

Links

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Ryan Lambourn is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Ryan Lambourn is part of a series on Columbine
[All jocks stand up!NBK]
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Columbine:

ColumbineEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSuper Columbine Massacre RPGDo you believe in godColumbine CopycatsColumbine GalleryColumbiners

Admirers

TheAmazingAtheistBrooke Higgins and Sienna JohnsonCho Seung-HuiIchverbotAlex HribalJaylen FrybergKimveer GillRyan SchallenbergerRobert Butler Jr.Pekka-Eric AuvinenAdam LanzaJeff WeiseDillon CosseyAsa CoonNghtmrchld26Lindsay Kantha SouvannarathSebastian BosseTim KretschmerLynn AnnYou

Locations:

ColoradoUnited StatesSchoolSuburbs

Related:

DoomPolice BrutalityPostalSchool ShootingMass ShootingVideo gamesTrenchcoatMarilyn MansonKMFDMRammsteinGothConcerned MotherNewgroundsRyan LambournSchool Shooter: North American Tour 2012The MatrixSouth ParkMichael MooreQuentin Tarantino1990sJack ThompsonGun control

Featured article December 6th & 7th, 2013
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Ryan Lambourn Succeeded by
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