The Tale of the traveling Afghan War Diaries

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"When I grow up I wanna be a terrorist!" - Saeed Chmagh's son

On Sunday, July 26 5pm EST, Wikileaks dropped a major drama bomb that greatly surpasses all other drama bombs. Over 96,000 pages that covers around 91,000 different reports and incidents about the Iraq and Afghanistan war from 2004-2009. The majority of these reports are from individuals reporting about incidents ranging from raids, corruptions, bribes, patrols, suicide bombings, etc. Alone these reports seem to document typical happenings in war, together they paint a grim picture about how bad the war in Afghanistan and Iraq is going.

What is the big deal?

What everyone is complaining about is you cannot simply dump this much info onto the internet at once, such action will overwhelm the internet. These people argue that Arab will manage to get these 96,000 pages downloaded without Big Brother frying their computer for simply looking at this leak. These people also claim that due to these documents being leaked that American soldiers will die because some asshole was unpatriotic enough to leak documents about the war.

An hour later, these same people who deemed the leaker as unpatriotic have withdrawn their earlier statements as it turns out that nothing so far in the report is actually about Obama's surge or any currently active operation. According to these people, the majority of the documents examined at this point suggests that these are reports from incidents that have already happened. Not only that nearly all of these classified reports are the lowest level of classification, at a mere secret. Currently the most uncovered classified documents included in this report discovered so far is about how NATO covers up how they accidentally kill children by firing rockets at houses they believe are housing suspected terrorist leaders. It is unsure how they are "suspected" terrorists as Arab are all terrorists.


Each report consists of the time and precise geographic location of an event that the US Army considers significant. It includes several additional standardized fields: The broad type of the event (combat, non-combat, propaganda, etc.); the category of the event as classified by US Forces, how many were detained, wounded, and killed from civilian, allied, host nation, and enemy forces; the name of the reporting unit and a number of other fields, the most significant of which is the summary - an English language description of the events that are covered in the report.


—Wikileaks, explaining what the leak documents



—Pundits who haven't even read all 96,000 pages of the leaked documents

The Prince Weighs In

Now this is a story all about how
My war got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Jus' sit there man
I'll tell you how Wikis ratted on Afghanistan

In west Helmand province, born and raised
In the hum-vee was where I spent most of my days
Chillin out maxin relaxin all cool
And shootin' some children outside of their school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Started leakin' secrets in my neighborhood
I got on one lil wiki and I said in frustration
"We strongly condemn the disclosure of classified information"

I whistled for a plane
And when it bombed near
The pilot said "We hit those civvies, oh dear"
If anything I could say the generals don't care
But I thought "Naw forget it, good goin' in the air!"

I pulled up in Herat about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the natives "Yo homes, smell ya later!"
Pulled out my rifle
Shot them all dead
Then Wikileaks said, that I'd lost all my cred

List of the Drama (more to come!)

Who Dunnit?

PFC Chelsea Manning...American hero.

It was Lady Gaga.

I would come in with music on a CD-RW labeled with something like Lady Gaga, erase the music then write a compressed split file. No one suspected a thing and, odds are, they never will. I listened and lip-synced to Lady Gaga’s 'Telephone' while exfiltrating possibly the largest data spillage in American history. Weak servers, weak logging, weak physical security, weak counter-intelligence, inattentive signal analysis… a perfect storm.


—PFC Chelsea Manning

This time, it wasn't the usual suspect but a pissed-off US Army intel analyst in Baghdad called Chelsea Manning. On July 30th, 2010, an aspie hax0r aptly named Adrian Lamo went to old media and told CNN why he'd facefagged the US Intel Analyst for leaking the dox. Apparently the brave soldier Chelsea Manning was pissed off with being in the sun all day and felt so ronery she randomly hit on Lamo on snugglenet IRC. Since being diagnosed with PTSD or some shit, he'd been reassigned to setting up the stage and latrines for a USO show for the troops featuring cheerleaders.


The below is excepted from a lengthy exchange between Lamo and Manning on Wired.

(7:20:26 AM) Lamo: how’re you feeling today?
(7:20:37 AM) Manning: im feeling a little better…
(7:20:52 AM) Manning: i had a lot on my mind, keeping to myself
(7:22:18 AM) Lamo: anything new & exciting?
(7:24:21 AM) Manning: no, was outside in the sun all day… 110 degrees F, doing various details for a visiting band and some college team’s cheerleaders…
(7:24:43 AM) Lamo: cheerleaders.
(7:24:46 AM) Manning: ran a barbecue… but no-one showed up… threw a lot of food away
(7:25:20 AM) Manning: yes, football cheerleaders… visiting on off season… apart of Morale Welfare and Recreation (MWR) projects
(7:25:39 AM) Lamo: *sigh*
(7:26:01 AM) Manning: >shrug<
(7:26:37 AM) Manning: im sunburned… and smell like charcoal, sweat, and sunscreen… thats about all thats new

Adrian Lamo

The 30 something hacker and lulzkiller went on to say that he went public with Manning's name because he "didn't want to be a coward." It should be pointed out that at his age, he is still eligible for military service and if he really didn't want to be a coward, he would have been standing neck deep in sand and camel shit right along with PFC Manning instead of getting all USI to the media from his Sacramento hugbox. Ironically, Lamo now faces an angry mob who wants him dead. He says he has received death threats in person and on his Facebook page and Twitter messages from people who feel like he betrayed PFC Manning.

As for Manning, she's just a fucking idiot because he believed her "confession" would remain off-the-record after swallowing Lamo's bullshit that he was an ordained minister. Manning has been charged with eight violations of the U.S. Criminal Code, including allegedly illegally transferring classified data.

In 2004, the self-described 1337 hacking superstar Lamo was convicted of one count of computer crimes after breaking into the New York Times, Microsoft and Lexis-Nexis' computer systems. Lamo also admitted to haxing [email protected]'s company network and breaking into the internal networks of Yahoo! and MCI WorldCom. Like Goatsec Lamo claims that he did this as a public service and only went public after informing the hacked networks as to their gaping security holes.

Unlike Weev however, Lamo is an unlulzy faggot with hueg levels of USI and was starring in his own "documentary" Hackers Wanted: Can You Hack It? The 'Homeless' Hacker Adrian Lamo' at the time of his arrest. Unemployed and flopping from city to city by Greyhound bus, stopping only long enough to edit his own and Manning's Wikipedia articles, Lamo was Internet famous for being "The Homeless Hacker." When he surrendered to face charges for the Times hack he has a camera crew in tow. He was ultimately sentenced to six months home confinement at his parents’ home.

Collateral Murder - Gameplay

Afghan War Diaries Collateral Murder Scoring.jpg


At first when this info was leaked it seemed that the person who did this was is motivated by greed. However, as more is read into these documents, it seems that the leaker didn't steal all this info solely for the intent of selling their story years down the road, but was motivated by a sense of justice. Despite that none of this information being leaked will compromise any current action in the war, the White House is throwing a shit fit and will likely crucify the leaker. The sad part of this whole affair is it will likely lead to new stricter laws to punish whistle-blowers. Such laws will damage the freedom of speech and the willingness to report corruption and injustice that keep our government a republic.


See Also

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