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Faisal Shahzad aka The Unabrower is a failed Paki Jihadist from Connecticut who attempted to blow up the Viacom office near Times Square, New York on 1st May 2010. Apparently, he was shocked and offended by the ugliness of his prophet Mohammad who appeared on South Park Episode 200.
It is a matter of awe and great secret debate within devout Muslims how prophet Mohammad maintained 30 or more war-booty concubines and also 11 legally married wives, the last one of whom was a tight 9 years old while he was 54, whereas his followers in Islamic countries are allowed to marry a mere 4 wives at a time. Some Muslims attribute the fact to the prophet's killer looks and Rambo-ish strength, though due to the divine prohibition of pictorial evidence, pagans and kaffirs poke fun at the great prophet by calling him a pervert and a fake.
Contrary to Allah's wishes which were written down in the great Quran, the same book which instructs men to beat their wives and behead the Christians and the Jews, Mohammad appeared in the 200th episode of South Park and finally proved the pagans and kaffirs right. The incident made 1.5 billion illiterate Muslims ashamed in front of the whole world which they plan to dominate within the next 9 years.
It was found out that Faisal Shahzad had only one wife, did not have any concubines, and was frustrated for a very long time.
Here is a summary of how to make a successful FailBomb:
- M80 firecrackers in a plastic bucket (Bought at Walmart and therefore soaked in childrens' urine)
- Fertilizer (organic, and therefore not even flammable)
- Propane tanks (brand new in explosion-proof steel cylinders)
- Awesome alarm clocks (just for looks)
- Throw it in the back of a pedo van with the lights on
- PARTY VAN
The alleged 'bomb' was found to be remarkably crude but thrice fail-proof in design. Though Mr. Shahzad used the wrong kind of fertilizer needed to produce a blast similar to one that would do an Oklahoma City on Comedy Central, some of the bomb's active components consisted of industry grade BBQ tanks, expensive fireworks, high-tech digital alarm clocks, and a very moist fuse resulting from a wet dream after watching
Cartman's mom Chef in South Park.
It is reported that the fuse failed to ignite.
The Unabrower is part of a series on
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