The Wrong Hands
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
|The Wrong Hands is in an internet sissy fight with /vg/, the Patriotic Nigras, Prokofy Neva, Linden Lab, and KrappleGuy.|
Please dig up lulz on all of them.
|Key people||Tizzers Foxchase, Jim Korpov, Robble Rubble, Atlas Saintlouis|
|Motto||[Insert "Famous" Psuedo-Intellectual Quote]|
|Products||Drama, Butthurt, Abuse Reports, Copyright Infringement, DMCA abuse|
Are you so pathetic that you continue to play Second Life even though it hasn't been relevant since the last decade? Do you artistically reminisce about how you epically trolled some gaudy, wannabe, superheros and a crazy cat lady blogger? Are you a depraved /b/tard or SA goon who would otherwise be alone on a Friday night? Do you have a fetish for comically large Mickey Mouse gloves, television heads, and goofy hats? If you answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, you just might be qualified to join the illustrious ranks of The Wrong Hands, a griefing organization so elite and ween, even the mighty Patriotic Nigras couldn't hold a candle to it. In their quest to be an internet hate machine in their own right, The Wrong Hands have provided countless examples of hilarious drama, both in their own ranks and with other similar groups.
Rise and untimely demise
The Wrong Hands was founded in 2010 as joint venture between W-Hat and Woodbury University refugees for the purpose of smuggling slaves across state lines. After snorting several hundred kilos of homemade cocaine, founding members decided to re-purpose their new partnership and use it as a means to troll the Justice League Unlimited. For years, other groups had been trolling circles around the JLU, and to make matters worse, they were out of cocaine.
In a rush to get the ball rolling, a few strung out goons thought up a brilliant plan which involved weentrolling the JLU by infiltrating the creepy, spandex clad ranks of Kalel "Superman" Venkman & Friends. The goal of this complex and elaborate scheme was to access the Justic League Unlimited's secret wiki which contained sensitive personal information on griefers, Linden Lab employees, and pretty much everyone else. While this sounds like a noble cause, it should be noted that even a novice psyop could have infiltrated this group with minimal effort. And predictably, thanks to yet another judgement lapse by Kalel Venkman, fearless leader of the JLU, someone was granted access to the their sekritsquirrel wiki.
Kalel Venkman commented that his sandbox patrol could be ruined if the contents of the wiki ever "got into the wrong hands". Instead of gathering additional intelligence, such as what kind of detergent GreenLantern Excelsior uses to wash his underwear, the fledgling group contracted a terrible case of USI and told everyone of their exploit. News spread like wildfire and soon every tryhard was joining The Wrong Hands in hopes of making a name for themself. When Second Life's abuse team decided that it didn't give a shit about TWH's crappy $295 a monthly sim fee, the mighty ban hammer was swung.
—TWH member, #InternetToughGuys
Meet the Wrong Hands
If it wasn't for the elite griefer collectives of the W-Hat, Woodbury University, and Digital Worlds groups, The Wrong Hands might never have been formed. The group's current roster of notable epic weeners includes:
—former PN leader FrizzleFry101 on Tizzers
Jizzers Cockface Tizzers Foxchase is a ginger trap from California who was formally a member of the Patriotic Nigras until Mudkips Acronym kicked Tizzers out for being a drama magnet. As a result of the fallout, Tizzers decided it would be a swell idea to hijack his University's Second Life investment and turn it into a 4chan community by theming Woodbury University's sims after the PN's well known hallmark, Fort Longcat. This of course went exactly as expected when Linden Lab started throwing down the banhammer on Woodbury, one sim after another, until it got to the point that Linden Lab sent Tizzers himself a legal notice, begging him to stop playing their shitty game. Since then, Tizzers has become a polarizing figure on Second Life. Despite being too enthusiastic about TWH and it's activities, he's become the group's punching bag and other TWH members will often troll Tizzers on skype by adding him to group chats and then leaving.
Formally a member of Second Life script kiddie group, Nicholas Mafia, Atlas began befriending members of TWH after the group started hanging out in his sim due to losing their home base to the banhammer. He since then became TWH's unofficial sugar daddy, purchasing the group's sims, only to have his investments be continuously banned because the group can't stay out of trouble.
Often referred to as Jum by his bffs, Jim Korpov is a former Woodbury University member, accomplished e-journalist, and one of the group's token closet furfags. He can usually be found on the unofficial Second Life wiki, f5'ing and making edits on TWH's article there.
Bob is TWH's premier content creator, complete with a cult of personality and sense of unwarranted self-importance so enormously inflated, it would give most tartlets a run for their money. Despite having the debilitating handicap of his anus being shut tighter than the virgin mary's dick sleeve and having to defaecate into a bag, Bob was once known for shitting out original content. In a twist of irony though, Bob's ultimate magnum opus on Second Life is selling unlicensed Daft Punk merchandise. And in yet another ironic twist, Bob burst his colostomy bag when some people copybotted and freely distributed said daft punk merchandise.
—Bob, without even a hint of irony
Miggyusagi (Powerword: Miguel) is a border hopping furfag and the newfag of the group. Before joining TWH, miggy spent his days in a furry sandbox, yiffing his then e-boyfriend whom he met during a muy caliente game of Team Fortress 2. When The Wrong Hands decided to settle in Miggy's yiffbox and Miggy met Bob, he immediatly dumped his yiffbuddy and began sucking the poo from Bob's colostomy bag while simultaneously giving Bob a handjob. Despite previously hating furfags, Bob was turned on by Miggy's dedication to trying to emulate him and realized that if TWH had an affirmative action-friendly person in their ranks, they could get away with anything. Thus Miggy was promptly made an honorary Wrong Hand, a title that he often likes to use to throw his weight around.
Ryokashi Revestel is a goon who is known for being the resident shitposter of the W-Hat group (to the point that his fellow goons started calling him Ryokashit) and having a terminal case of centipedes in his vaginal area. In between sessions of sodomy and double penetration with his 2 gay dads, Ryokashi hangs out in Second Life and spends his time complaining about his college life or telling people that memes are unfunny (while flashing his TWH group tag).
Hausovander Major (aka House) is a fat jew and aspiring songsmith that no one has ever heard of. House, like many internet musicians, believes that playing with FL Studio and shitting out generic beats with repetitive lyrics is akin to actually making music. When he's not trying to jumpstart his failure of a music career, House can be found in Second Life with his fellow TWH cronies, bragging about how he would ruin irl Linden Lab conventions by crashing sims while wearing a television on his head.
Adam (aka Methane Hurricane) is a no-name ausfag, kiddie fiddler, and SA goon from W-Hat who gets his rocks off by getting into internet slap fights with other like-minded manbabies in Second Life welcome areas, stalking internet women who don't share his worldviews, and taking pictures of people on tinychat and subsequently bragging about how he trolled them hard. Adam needs TWH because he needs to surround himself with people with the same mental capacity as his own so he can feel less like a loser for yelling at people on the internet while being well into his 30's.
Where are they now?
Despite the loss of numerous accounts and their base of operations, this group continues to linger around Second Life. Much like that one kid who used to be cool in high school, but even after he graduated, continues to awkwardly hang around. Additional sims were purchased over the course of 3-4 years, and just like a game of Whack-A-Mole, each gets shut down by Linden Lab. In between sims, members of The Wrong Hands frequent furry sandboxes, offering yiff to sim owners in exchange for moderation powers.
—Atlas, when asked if he'd pay for another sim
- Their sims include the following
- Red Square Formally Rancor & Revolution (2011) - Rehash of Soviet Woodbury, TWH's former base of operations. Both sims were removed and much butthurt was had after ponyfags complained to Linden Lab that Wrong Hands members were copybotting their avatars.
- Nope (2011) - Used as a hangout for the 4chan /vg/ group. The sim was repossessed by Linden Lab when the land baron got drunk and forgot to pay the sim bill.
- Sandvich Formally Reddit (2012) - Originally used to try and attract redditors to pad out TWH's stagnating community of cranky, former W-Hat goons and Woodfurries. Midway through the sim build's construction, someone got it in their heads that redditors weren't enough and that the sim needed to attract Valve fanboys too. The sim was re-named to Sandvich, in honor of The Heavy from Team Fortress 2 and the sim was rebuilt as a Valve/Steam amusement park, complete with a statue of a completely nude Gabe Newell. Sandvich and (everyone in it) ended up getting banned in the wake of the PN's intervention in the sim.
- Rude (2014) - The group's current den of yiff. Typical activity here includes hugboxing, circlejerking over past "accomplishments", and trying desperately to remain relevant in any way possible by plastering the group's logo anywhere they can.
Encounter with KrappleGuy
After Linden Lab banhammered Sanvich, The Wrong Hands moved their circlejerk and yiffing operations to the Dascoyte furry sandbox where they encountered a crux named Kopyboat. Desperate to get into the elite and ween organization, Kopy began sucking off member’s virtual dog cocks while claiming he was a formerly in Woodbury. However, The Wrong Hands soon discovered Kopyboat was actually KrappleGuy aka Mark Ortiz. It was also discovered Mark had been trolled out of Woodbury when Robble Rubble made fun of his robot avatar. After learning of Kopyboat's true identify, The Wrong Hands incessantly trolled Mark out of multiple Second Life communities. Mark retaliated by copybotting and wearing furry accessories sold by TWH members, but it only led to him being isolated from the remaining furry communities that tolerated him. Furious over the failure of his counterattack, Mark responded how any sperglord would, by writing about The Wrong Hands on Encyclopedia Dramatica and then stalking a seventeen year old who friendzoned him.
- Second Life - The game they circlejerk in
- W-Hat - The group where most of their membership comes from
- Patriotic Nigras - The group they claim superiority over
- Prokofy Neva - Their arch-nemesis
- Krappleguy - Obsessive Fanboy
- Kalel Venkman - Their other arch-nemesis
- Aspergers - What most of the group suffers from
The Wrong Hands is part of a series on
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Anshe Chung • Boyd Doghouse • BritbongReturns • Christoph Naumova • Felinoid • Hardstylenno • Harrison Digfoot • IntLib • Kalel Venkman • Kopyboat • Krispup • Lemonade Coyote • Mircea Kitsune • MrDisambiguation • Prokofy Neva • Ralph Pootawn • Skuee • Tamias the Chipmunk • Urizenus Sklar • Voland • Yiffy Yaffle • Yoko Beaumont •