The Doom Comic
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Doom Comic is a comic book published in May of 1996, with the caption, "Knee Deep in the Dead!" on the front cover. Two authors have worked on the storyline of this comic, which Cyb of Doomworld is confused by how more than one vision could coalesce into the single greatest comic ever made.
In this epic, the Doomguy talks to himself while he searches for the biggest gun evar. At first, he decided he did not need a gun because he was able to RIP AND TEAR everything in his sight, until he encountered the Cyberdemon, who was way too fucking big to be shot at until he dies, due to having huge guts.
He finds a chainsaw which he uses to pwn zombies with, then magically finds a shotgun to kill moar zombies with in the dark. After telling the shotgun that it was the only thing he'd ever put trust in at the moment, he dumps it for a chaingun. However, he was too busy singing and got flamed by an imp.
A little more than halfway throughout the story, our hero gets knocked into a vat of radioactive waste and emerges from the fluid, telling us readers about environmental issues, but stops because his chaingun ran out of bullets. Once he is spotted by big-mouthed floating thingies, he shouts "Sweet Christmas!" and leaps for the plasma gun. Caught off-guard, he is slammed by a ghost and blows shit up to kill it off, then sets out for the last part of his quest: get the BFG. He eventually obtains it after going through mobs of angry zombies and demons, and sheds tears of joy. Our story concludes as the Cyberdemon is defeated.
Though no sequels exist, one can read an equally-as-epic tale by Peter Chimaera, titled Doom: Repercussions of Evil.
Somebody out there decided to make one of the most lulzworthy contributions to the internets by making a dramatic reading of the entire Doom comic complete with authentic doom sounds and music! Sit back, and prepare to have your eardrums ripped out.
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