Thick Skin

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Those with thick skins include goblins and trolls
A thick skinned EDitor white knights for a n00b

Not to be confused with thick (as in fatties), thick skin is a form of body armour which — along with a Funny Bone — is vital to survival on the Internets and particularly for the budding EDiot who wants to lurk moar, fend off trolls and avoid edit wars. Having a thin skin is the leading cause of being done with ED, deleting your LiveJournal and flouncing ragequit. Once armed with a thicker skin, the novice can then move on to getting themselves a Troll Shield and some goggles.

A thick skin is absolutely crucial for first time visitors to 4chan's /b/ board. The curious NORP will be terminally offended and shocked and appalled at what they'll find there without adequate protection.

Obtaining Thicker Skin

One simple way to obtain thicker skin is to desensitize yourself. This can be done either slowly or suddenly:

Slowly:

  • Watch violent and sexually explicit material from an early age. This will stop you from caring about violence later on in life. The downside to this is it can brainwash you into thinking TV is equal to real life and can give away just how shitty your social skills are. Visiting 4chan has the same effect.
  • Familiarize yourself with crime. This is best done by committing crime rather than being a victim. This help when you inevitably end up in prison.
  • If you find something offensive keep your mouth shut and keyboard untouched. Bad things should be ignored, not fought. The Japanese masturbate to little boys cumming as they have their organs ripped out and they rank among the most intelligent people in the world. Better to be a happy sheep than a self-righteous outcast.


Suddenly:

  • Witness an abrupt, traumatizing event. This can be difficult for several reasons:
    • These events are usually totally unexpected. Waiting around for a traumatic event to happen suggests your skin might be a little too thick already.
    • You must witness the event yourself. No, TV doesn't count. Watching Die Hard doesn't make you badass, however Jersey Shore is borderline.
    • The event must be directly related to you. Watching your father rape your mother's decapitated head counts, 9/11 absolutely does not. An event that scarred a nation did not necessarily scar you personally, and if it did you will never have thick skin.
    • This form of thick skin can be seen mostly in schizophrenic vietnam veterans.
  • Scroll through the pain series, slowly.
  • Click here.
  • Or here.
  • In the event that one requires thick skin within a short space of time, copious amounts of alcohol or prescription drugs can temporarily bestow the gift of apathy upon even the whiniest of emo fucktards. Keep in mind however that no matter how doped up you are, you're still as much of a twat as you were sober.

Please note that some people will inevitably still exhibit plenty of pussy behaviour in spite of their sudden onset of thick skin. This is characterized mainly by bawwing about the sudden event that was supposed to make them hardcore. Silent tears are still faggot tears and are in no way exempt.

You're doing it wrong

File:Used condoms.png
Make sure your newly acquired thick skin isn't pre-owned

There are two ways in which having thick skin can be a bad thing:

Self-centeredness: This is when a person incessantly complains about how their benefit money doesn't quite cover the cost of their xbox yet seems oblivious to the heartfelt cries of "Get a fucking job sparkling wiggles!" In this case the person's skin is too thin to cope with daily life but too thick to understand why this pisses people off. See Asperger's syndrome.

Excessively Thick Skin: Occurs when a person has skin so thick they can peel it back to show you their inside. See psychopath.

See Also


Thick Skin
is part of a series on
LERNIN 2 INTERNET
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Pitfalls:

AspierationsBLANKING IN PROGRESSCharming NaïvetéDelete fucking everythingDOIN IT RONGEdginessFailing itInternet tough guyKids on the internetLegal actionLiberalismMental illnessMod SassSkript kiddiesSob StoriesTrollsUnrealistic ExpectationsUnwarranted Self-ImportanceWaaaambulance

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PROTIPS:
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