This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring

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This "second notice" is more like a tenth or twentieth notice, and will be repeated ad infinitum until you smash your phone into a jumbled mess of plastic and circuitry.

This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring!

Of course, you know, this means war.

Like many Americans, you may have a cell phone for vital communication needs and wireless internet browsing. You may have recently noticed a rash of calls from someone who appears to be quite concerned that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring, even though no one ever gave you a first notice of such, when you ride a bike or take the bus and don't even own a car, or are too young to drive. None of that matters. The factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring!

This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring!

The typical telemarketer.

Of course this is a form of harassment and as such deserves harassment in return, which is precisely what happens on occasion when some poor /b/tard has had enough and rages at 4chan's most popular board. Intrepid anons have somehow located the source of these irritating calls and dealt with it in the way in which anon excels: repeated childish prank calls. On occasion /b/'s telephone campaign lasts for hours, asking these selfless providers of fraudulent auto insurance if they cover flux capacitors or if they happen to carry Battletoads in their particular retail location.

This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring!

As expected, the company from which these calls are originating completely denies calling thousands of people a day and then hanging up on them. That's right, once you reach a human operator and request to be added to their do-not-call list, they promptly hang up on you and call you back later that day. That is why the only way to properly combat these shitstains is to be an absolutely vulgar asshole to them. Upon reaching an operator it is advised that you:

  • Repeat the word "penis" in an overly excited voice.
  • Threaten them with violence.
  • Threaten them with a class-action lawsuit.
  • Threaten them with rape.
  • Threaten them with knife rape.
  • Inform them that you very well may have fucked their mother.
  • Scream yourself hoarse.

After enough of this abusive behavior, they'll soon remove your number from their various lists. If not, continue treating them like shit, nigger.

This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring!

Anonymous gets involved

Due to the massive amounts of rage these unwanted calls have caused, the internet itself decided to strike back, with Reddit users doing their homework and digging up telephone numbers and addresses and organizing a massive strike against Auto One Warranty Specialists Inc., owned by one David Tabb of California. Users hacked their way into the voicemail systems, filled their inboxes with Rickrolls, and generally returned the company the favor that they've done for millions of Americans over the past few months. Meanwhile, the FTC has targeted companies involved in harassing you, me, and everyone else with a phone. Occasionally the ranks of anonymous manage to get something right, and this is one of those situations.


   
 
In 2002 Tabb pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit mail fraud and one count of tax evasion
 

 
 

—You know these calls are 100% legitimate when coming from this man's company, Seattle Weekly

This is the second never gonna give you up!

Two acts of trolling in one: fed up with hearing these incessant calls a few inventive souls have started calling the company and leaving a special message. Auto One Warranty Specialists Inc got Rick Roll'd.

Click here to see the video.

This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring!


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Featured article June 3, 2009
Preceded by
Charles Bukowski
This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring Succeeded by
TsimFuckis