Tommy Davis

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Tommy .jpg


Specializing in fucking things up, misspeaking and generally causing problems and huge embarrassment for $cientology, Tommy Davis, born Ibrahim Goldberg (aka Footbullet Man), is the son of Anne Archer and a member of the elite Scientology "Press Team" from the Office of Special Affairs. It is believed that Tommy contributes more to the discrediting and destruction of $cientology than anyone in Chanology or Anonymous ever could. It is rumored that $cientology is seeking compensation from the manufacturers of the downlink auto vocalization bus fitted to Tommy, which displayed several runtime errors during his last reanimation, causing what the organization called 'A PR Flap.' A spokesman for Cyberdyne Systems, designers of the bus, has said that the glitches in the Davis unit came from his organic components, rather than the implant.


Footbullet Man in his natural state ( this is the motivator that started the Tommy "Footbullet Man" Davis meme. How do i know? Hai i am partydude and i created it, just found out the meme became reality and im glad about it. :3 )

In the past Tommy has brought the world such classics as BBC Panorama: $cientology and me in which he proclaimed his love of children and cats (but not mudkips). Once Tommy was done fucking up with the handling of the BBC, OSA boss Mike Rinder fled the country (and later the cult) as the impact the shit-storm Tommy unleashed on $cientology was so great.

For the last several months Tommy has been a resident of $cientology's RPF, a gay mens' bathhouse and spa for the rehabilitation of sexual libidos towards young boys and men. Tommy Davis takes it in the pooper from Garry Scarff. Recently, Tommy was sprung from the RPF to handle Anonymous and Chanology, David Miscavige should really have known that all he should expect was epic fail so great that Tommy would be put onto motivational posters and attempted to be forced as a meme by moralfags within two hours of the interview airing, as enturbulation users decided that they finally had a reason to leave their hugbox forum and /b/oldy /b/ound into the /b/ordello that is /b/.

Rather surprisingly, the reaction of this influx was not greeted with the usual protests of GTFO from /b/tards. The wealth of amusing potential shoops of Tommy and general hilarity at his epic level of fail, combined with CNN Presenter John Roberts's insistence that Tommy STFU about imaginary threats and start talking about the involvement of parasitic aliens in the cult's doctrine, meant that little Tommy of OSA has achieved the seemingly impossible task of uniting the warring factions of Anonymous days before the May Protest. THX MR DAVIS!!!!

Davis gives the game away when Roberts asks him to give a basic description of what Scientologists do believe, and Davis can’t do it. Maybe because this doesn’t play well on national TV:

Superhuman powers! The ability to leave your body! To shape space and time with your mind! To be impervious to disease and live forever! And all for only a mere $100,000 in cash, several years of your life, separation from your family and friends, and complete dedication to a dead pulp-fiction writer who dreamed up a religion starring disembodied alien souls being carried through the galaxy on spacecraft shaped like DC-3s! Join today!


—Village Voice

Tommy's Fail : A Great Service to Chanology

CNN Interview : May 7th 2008

Tommy appeared on CNN with John Roberts an interviewer who will take NO SHIT from anyone, especially some faggot who believes in Alien Genocide.

  • Below you can watch Tommy in action, doing what he does best - imitating the keystone cops of Public Relations.

Bullet Meets Foot

I disagree [with the FBI] and that's definitely not the case, you talk to local law enforcement you talk to the justice department - there are ongoing investigations going on here


It's almost as if he has tiny little fist-marks on his eyes. As if he were routinely punched in the eyelids by a miniature, almost human-like fist. If I were a pathologist, I'd speculate that a very angry infant spider monkey had gotten a piece of Mr. Davis. Although he exhibits signs of jet-lag, these are compounded by the teensy weensie little fist prints, barely discernible to the untrained eye.


—A review of his performance courtesy alt.religion.scientology


Tommy yet again delivered powerful lulz; perhaps even greater than his CNN dipshittery. In an investigation done by KESQ-TV's Nathan Baca, Tommy was presented with a laundry list of LRH insanity that Scilons are programmed to read as null until they pay for software upgrades. Confronted by Hubbards' space madness, the freewheel pneumonia killswitch and razor-spiked U-R-MY-NIGGER fences Tommy kept his cool, and then he fucked the duck. Starting off he admitted scifags pedal propaganda. He shortly thereafter expressed his love for the RPF by Confirming the existence of Xenu he then pointed out that spikes face toward the compound just because they were installed that way. Finally he went "Xenu? NO_U." and proceeded to empty an AK-47 clip into his L.A. gears.

Warning: Due to Scilon Attacks and Copyright F(l)ags, The videos in this section will wink in and out of existence!

Click the following link to see all the steamy Newscaster-on-Placentafag Pwnrape.

At 1:49, when the reporter reads a copy of OTIII to Tommy, he then tells the reporter that he's "familiar with the material."

I'm not interested in somebody else's version of my religion.


It is delicious Tommy.

Tommy does Nightline

With Xenu and Scifags now the hippest trend; Tommy now had the honor of having his ass handed to him by a National News TV anchor. Gave some lulz, and promptly pussied out.

Hubbard deal with reality tech in action.

Classic Footbullets

These are the kinds of people who put images together intended to cause epileptic seizures and then hacking into epileptic websites to put that imagery up


—Tommy talks about OSA Black Operations

The worldwide interest in
Scientology has never been higher




We are interested in putting out true information out there [on the web]


—Tommy talks about

what is disconnection?



There's no such thing as disconnection as you're characterizing it


—Tommy disagreeing with what Scientology argued in California Supreme Court AND the Court of Appeals was their Constitutionally protected "Religious Practice"

the things you're talking about are unrecognizable to me


—Tommy being confused

There's a lot of people out there talking about what they say Scientology is, and, and... uh actually I'll correct that: there's a SMALL amount of people who talking about what they think Scientology is...



I have enough money to never work a day in my life.


—Tommy in Rolling Stone[1]

The coolest guy ever.


—Tommy on L. Ron Hubbard

CNN Cover Chanology before Tommy's Fail

Other clips of Tommy Davis footbullets

Tommy's Tattoo

Sea org.png

Recently Dallas, the husband of Jenna Miscavige decided that as "Tommy has taken it on himself to work on
destroying my family behind my back, yet refuses to confront or even talk to me or Jenna"
- he thought that he would troll him via ESK, by telling the internet about Tommy's sailor's tattoo.

Tommy did not have just any tattoo, he had the Sea Org symbol on his bicep. He was dedicated to this group. Back then I thought that was the most brilliant tattoo as you weren't going to get tired of that on your arm, hell it would still be appropriate in a Billion years.
Now since Tommy was the Senior Vice-Pres CCI at the time he went everywhere celebs were, every Maiden Voyage and he and Susan (Pres CCI) were there. Well the story goes from James, and confirmed by Tommy; one day Tommy was up with his shirt off on the Sun deck of the Freewinds and Dave is doing his rounds with the public and he sees Tommy there with this new tattoo. Let's just say he was not too happy with little Tommy and asked him, "Did you get IA (Issue Authority) for that?" See Tommy forgot that symbol was trademarked by RTC, oops!

Well the next few months Tommy was on the cans with RTC for that little mistake and up came a few others



CoS being anal about copyright

Copyright violation in progress

To Tommy D

Tommy, you make it possible.

Champion of Chanology.

Gallery of Fail

Xenu homeboy.pngTommy Davis is part of a series on ScientologyXenu homeboy.png



DianeticsDisconnectionChild abuseSaint HillScientology's History of the UniverseSec CheckFreewindsSea OrgGlossaryReligious Freedom WatchVolunteer MinistersOSASpace Opera


L. Ron HubbardDavid MiscarriageTom CruiseScientology AgentsTommy DavisRogues GallerySuri CruiseTerryeoHeaven's GateThe RegimeEvil Jacket GuyJoe FeshbachVaLLarrrTom NewtonJohn CarmichaelFreezoneCaptain Bill RobertsonDanny MastersonWill SmithOschaperKendrick MoxonTim ArmerJorge SerranoRon SaveloJohn TravoltaJett Travolta


AnonymousWise Beard ManJason BegheGas Mask GirlMagooNew Zealand Fail GuyMessage from ScientologyShawn LonsdaleRorschachMoralfagsLeaderfagsRaidfag WenchJames PackerEpic Nose GuyStu WyattTommy GormanThe Unknown AutobotPsychiatristsMarcab ConfederacyDavid Wu-KapauwEpic Sword GuyAgent Pubeit


PROJECT CHANOLOGYWhy We Protest ForumsA Scientologist's Guide to 4chanThe GeteratorPaul "Fetch" CarnesReligionIsFree.orgYou Found the Card/i/alt.religion.scientologyComplete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX888chan