From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search is a shitty news site that's sole existence on this planet is to be the OL host to the parasites that are liberals, fundies, faggots, know-it-alls, and posers. What makes this site extremely lulz worthy is that their forums and the comments under each news story are hardly ever viewed by moderators... and even then, it's only because some butthurt jew reported something. This causes TL;DR comments and posts that can easily be trolled for drama.

Topix, We're Popular

From their own site:

More than 1 million people posted 5.5 million comments, adding more than 30,000 comments a day. And many of the most passionate discussions were happening at the local level. Translation: We are swamped with flame wars and many passionate discussions about the good side of pedophilia and the proportions of dicks, both specifically and in general with regards to various races.

But even with 50,000 news sources, there just wasn't enough local news - and what news there was, couldn't be tuned finely enough with algorithms alone. Translation: We're lazy fucks. We can't report for ourselves, and we can't program Roboblogger for shit. Just Google your own goddamn news and report back to us, plzkthx.

So, in April 2007, we decided to open up our site, and give anyone the power to discuss, edit and share the news that matters to them. Translation: We seriously fucked ourselves here. We might as well put a sign up that says "Welcome all trolls!"

Previously, several Topix founders created the Open Directory Project (originally called "NewHoo"), the first open development directory for the Internet, and now the largest human-edited web directory. Translation: We had no idea what we were getting into when we opened a globe spanning forum network governed by a handful of asspie hipster mods in California.

Topix is applying that model to the news, turning passive news into active dialogue by giving people an easy-to-use publishing system with a built-in audience. Translation: We welcome all attention whores and emos to come to our site and post how the atrocities and suffering in Darfur pale in comparison to how shitty your life is in the suburbs.

We have combined the best technology with the strongest local participation to create the best destination for news and discussion. By giving everyone access to the tools to talk - and an audience to listen - Topix redefines what it means to make the news. Translation: We are battling a severe bout of unwarranted self-importance.

Topix. Your town. Your news. Your take. Translation: Open the flood gates!

This News is Relevant to my Interests

While the old media dinosaurs cling to their beloved reports of war, famine, epidemics, and dead niggers, the Top Stories forum contains information that truly matters. No one gives a shit about Best Korea, anyway. A brief summary of said Top Stories is as follows:

  • Why should Jesus love me?
  • Bush is a hero
  • Roman Catholic church only true church, says Vatican
  • How come girls don't like to date East Indian guys?
  • Is homosexuality a sin?
  • Was 9/11 a conspiracy?
  • Why do people not believe in God?
  • y do white woman hate black woman i dont unstand
  • Oxycodone 30mg PA, NJ area hit me up ASAP only f2f

What Should I Expect?

Oh, precious things! If your itch to piss off any group, party, or religion needs to be scratched then this is the place you should invest your time in. Everything is available for lulz, from pissed-off pro-choice advocates to grieving family members! The fun never stops when you are on Topix! This statement is further guaranteed by the fact that the site will give you your local news as well. The local forums are populated by 13 year old girls and clueless NORPs who think that the Internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS, providing an endless supply of savory trollbait. Additionally, you can be an asshole in your own community, and no one needs to ever know.

Examples of Fun

The context of this "passionate" discussion seems to be that someones sister was murdered and there are several shady types claiming to know the victim.

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