Road Traffic Control, as instigated by Traffic Controllers, involves road disruption, slowing/diverting traffic and creating general chaos for no good fucking reason.
Distribution and Habitat
Within Australia, Traffic Controllers are largely located within the states of New South Wales and Queensland. In NSW itself, they seem to nest from the area Sydney, to just north of Lismore. It has been noted that they have been found as far inland as Tamworth. While out on the road, they can be mostly found alone, being supported in the upright position by their stop/slow bat, or huddled with the rest of their pack in their air conditioned car.
Traffic Controllers are often thought to be the missing link between Neanderthal and the modern day Homo Sapiens. It has been widely regarded that this is the origin of the name for Traffic Control company Evolution.
Relationship with Humans
Traffic Controllers tend to be gentle creatures, but are easily startled. Due to their somewhat docile nature, and their love of burgers, they can easily be tamed. Should you see a Traffic Controller out in the wild, gently approach and speak in a soft voice. Holding out an offering of a Vegemite sandwich and a can of Monster energy drink is normally enough to entice them to approach by sparking their feral curiosity.
A Traffic Controller's diet consist largely of McDonalds and other fast food. They can often be spotted on the side of the road noshing down Big Macs and Quarter Pounders. It has also been noted that a single Jar of Vegemite and a loaf of bread can provide an entire week of lunches.
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