Trolls on fire

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They'll troll you by telling you they can't feel a thing.

Trolls on fire (optionally Hyper Trolls) are simply faggots who managed to rip off their own leashes and have started running rampant through whatever community, forum or site they ever find themselves in, doing what they do best: try to troll the living shit out of anything and everything that dare moves around them. Unable to discern friend from foe, this particular breed of troll will spare no living second trying to instigate conflict with everyone.

How to spot one

Oh, irony.

Hyper trolls are also natural power climbers. If it means the ability to troll more idiots who actually fall for their shit, they will waste no chance to rise through the ranks, particularly when the work required also involves trolling (even if it does not particularly enforce it). Rarely however do they manage to accomplish this and, even if they do, it's usually some measly janitor work they'll never settle for (before getting banned for trying too hard). Ironically, despite how this could greatly improve their chances of survival, they also fail horribly at playing the typical mod sycophants they're supposed to be around their admins.

Obvious Symptoms

Prevailing symptoms include constant panting, visible smoke (sometimes fire) emanating from the nose, mouth and primarily ass, as well as endless trails of shit left behind wherever they go. When dealing with them, you can also notice (if you're not a complete retard) they rarely befriend anyone and will always, always try to race to their veritable catchphrase they consider the ultimate victory in life (despite the possibility the topic they've intruded might not even hold an argument to begin with). Communication will always prove to be difficult with them, but they rarely see that as a problem; on the contrary, if it aggravates others then it's perfectly fine. Most agree: Hyper Trolls think their tactics are DEEP.

If you've identified yourself as the above, please follow this comprehensive guide on how to deal with your illness.

Visible Traits

Powerclimbing hyper trolls spare no second trying to ban someone, somewhere, at some time. If you've suffered an unwarranted ban at some point then you've most likely been trolled by one and you didn't even know it. And hey, in front of everyone else they were doing their job, so why not?

At some point this can reach critical levels when they themselves have been banned elsewhere: a hyper troll will ALWAYS man the ban cannon whenever it's within reach, even if it means aiming it at a completely distant location.

How to deal with one

If they haven't had the living fuck banned out of them just yet, you can help by avoiding them completely. A lot of people mistake them for normal trolls that know how and when to stop, but the sad truth lies in how they will never cease and desist. Every word, every living breath taken is a troll in progress for them, and a successful one at that. If you're an idiot who feels obligated to try and put a stop to them without having the means necessary, feel free to entertain us.

PROTIP: Find a way to pit a white knight against one for unending lulz. Neither one knows where the brakes are.

See Also

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