Tv/

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/tv/ is a fucking awful board full of spam and reposts. Operating under the guise of a television and film forum, /tv/ hosts the most obnoxious assortment of trolls, pedophiles and aspergers sufferers on the internet. Over half the active content at any given time is copypasta and reposts courtesy of some moron and his proxy. Content on /tv/ rarely strays far from rampant homosexuality, Glauworship, 0/10 trolls and daily shitstorms over any film made after 1990. A typical thread normally begins with a blatant troll post that no intelligent person would reply to, and two hours later, the now 200 reply thread will still be bumping on the first page.

/tv/ has a unique cycle of hate and love. When a film comes out /tv/ will spam threads 24/7, worship the actor, spam pictures, and invent fan fiction. However after exactly two weeks, when the general public and critics also love the film, /tv/ will turn their back on said film, and crucify anyone who is still a fan. However this cycle was broken with Avatar, and in this case /tv/ hated the film the moment that the trailer came out.

One of the most depressing facts of /tv/ is that most posters are too addicted to the board to even watch films or television. Instead they choose to while away their lives forcing memes, arguing with trolls and discussing Joss Whedon's latest canceled show. Some of these people even believe they have a chance at making it in the film industry themselves.

Don't bother posting a legitimate opinion about a show or movie on /tv/, as your post will most likely just be bombarded by green text and reaction images.

Obsession with Lost

/tv/ has a bizarre obsession with JJ. Abrams' never ending cliff hanger Lost. Indeed, fans of the show even managed to steal the 3M and 6M gets (but not the 5M /v/ GET, despite claims by lostfags to the contrary). Lostfans are a rabid bunch who claim anyone who doesn't lap up the shows bullshit isn't educated enough to understand it. They brand any comment against Lost a "stale copypasta", and anyone who tries to reason with them an idiotic troll. This obsession is looked upon by the wider /tv/ community with disbelief as to why any one would watch the dumbest shit someone could possibly come up with, let alone actively support said shit and discuss it on an almost daily basis. But then, the same could be said for 99% of what /tv/ discusses on a daily basis.

An example of LOST fans making up bullshit to fill in the shows plot holes

Anyone else think that Rose may actually be Desmond in the future? Yes, i know it sounds retarded at first, but just think about it. For one, they both have similar eyes. Look at the eyes. The eyes are always important. And the facial features, there is just something strangely similar about them despite the obvious gender and race difference.

Perhaps Desmond at some point loses Penny and little Charlie Hume and maybe Widmore captures him and, blaming him for Penny's death, injects him with some weird island $#!% that gives him the appearance and hormones of an African American woman. Sometime down the line he loses his memory and believes he is actually Rose, 50 year old black woman from the Bronx. And with all the time travel paradox crap, Rose/Desmond meets Bernard in 2003/2004 or whatever and marries him and gets on 815 and crashes on the island, where past Desmond is still back in the hatch. And now past Desmond and future/current Desmond (now Rose) both exist in the same timeline as a paradox. I know it's far-fetched but I just have this really strong feeling, and they HAVE given really subtle clues along the way. What do you guys think?

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Film Shitstorms

Lost in Translation

Another movie /tv/ can't shut the fuck up about is Lost in Translation. mainly because of how "hot" Scarlett Johansson looks in the movie. Also because nobody really knows what Bill Murray whispers into her ear, some will argue that what he says to her is "No one will ever believe you," which is fucking stupid and anyone who thinks that should swallow a gallon of rat poison and jump off a cliff. He most likely says, "I will rape you," or "Kill your husband".

Juno

Pretentious hipster shit

/tv/ will deny it, or will possibly not even remember it, but Juno was at first regarded as a fucking masterpiece. It now symbolizes everything /tv/ loves to hate.

The Dark Knight

In what may have been the biggest shitstorm in /tv/ history The Dark Knight came out, and managed to best show the famous /tv/ cycle. In the first two weeks of its release, /tv/ got a hard-on so big that Stanley Kubrick could have shot a 3 hour landscape of it. There was even a fucking sticky, an unheard of idea in the land where there be no mods.

However, as is always the way, just over two weeks went by, and /tv/ saw the critics overwhelmingly positive reviews, and the amount of Jew that it was making. So falling back into their semi-hipster, semi-retarded ways, /tv/ turned on the film. Nowadays if one is to post a thread saying how they liked The Dark Knight, they are informed that they are a kid, an idiot, and a faggot.






District 9

The reason no one likes District 9 anymore

In an almost mirror image to The Dark Knight, District 9 came out in mid- 2009, and went through the same cycle. If one were to visit /tv/ shortly after its release, it would be surprising that one wouldn't stumble upon Shartlo Copley slash fiction, fooking love notes to baby Prawns, and general overhyping of a pretty good film. But then in came the cycle. And the rest, as they say, is history.






Avatar

Abatap, a crazy Russian Avatar fan.
Avatar3.jpg

The fa/tv/irgins, being slightly older than the average /b/tard, and slightly younger than the faggots on /r9k/, of course had a love affair with James Cameron films. Despite them being identical to the Michael Bay films that they hate now, it was only second nature, their first being to fap to Selena and Demi, to get excited about Avatar, even though they had no idea what in the flying fuck the movie would be about - only that it would be about avatars, but then again they had no clue what it was - or what it would eventually look like.

The day came, every neckbeard had greased their forehead, and swept their basement. It was the day that the Avatar trailer was to be released. But wait a minute, before they saw a single second of this trailer Quicktime crashed, proving once and for all that Apple is the equivalent to a Chevy Corvair driven by Stevie Wonder. Nonetheless it finally came, and the whole of /tv/ witnessed, FUCKING FURRIES.

However a select few faggots still have faith in their master.



AVATOLD

Since the premier of the Avatar trailer /tv/ has criticized and attacked the film and director James Cameron for his blue furry fetish. Trolls insisted it was shit and that it would be the biggest flop since Waterworld. After the shitstorm settled and the dust cleared it became apparent that Avatar was loved the world over. James Cameron has now directed the number one and number two top grossing films of all time, making him the most successful director in history. The Avatar haters have been AVATOLD.



Drive

Is Driver autistic?

Ever since the year 2011, /tv/ has been spammed to hell with threads about the movie Drive. Thread topics about Drive usually are about how autistic Driver is. /tv/ also likes to mention how shitty and boring the movie is. There is also a scene in the movie where a Jew dies. Much lulz are to be had on /tv/ when you mention that a filthy kike dies in a movie, because Jews own Hollywood. Thankfully, the director and Gosling followed that movie with Only God Forgives, a movie which will eventually find itself on Wikipedia's list of the worst films ever made. Calling any fan of that film a pseudo-intellectual will generate some lulz.


The Dark Knight Rises

/tv/ hyped the final installment in the modern Batman saga up to its release, only to discover that compared to the previous movie, the film was shit. The usual flamewars between fanboys and hipsters came and went, but what ended up staying on /tv/ were TDKR themed shitposts and forced memes. They mostly revolve around quoting any line in the conversation between the laughably miscast CIA agent and Bane. As of now, you can still scroll through the /tv/ catalog and find at least one of these threads.

What about older, or foreign films?

Well no need for that. As every film made before 1980, and not produced in America is pretentious hipster trash.

/tv/ deities

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  • Armond White - Film critique, Greatest troll, King of /tv/. Known for bashing films that the overwhelming majority liked very much while in the same time praising shit and serious disappointments.
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  • The Green Oval - The Green Oval has posted on /tv/ every day at exactly 7:00 AM EST for years. Since they can't explain the mysterious Green Oval, fa/tv/irgins decide to worship it.
The Green Oval About missing Pics
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The Pedo holy grail.

What you'll find on /tv/ at any time, any day

SashaGrey.jpg
If I stretch them all the way, will I win an Oscar?
You're a big guy...
An excited /tv/ poster runs home from work.

How to troll /tv/

  • Talk about how Avatar got better reviews than District 9
  • Say Lord of the Rings is better than Star Wars
  • Start a Zeitgeist thread
  • Claim that Megan Fox is hotter than (insert random actress)
  • Say Michael Bay is one of your favorite directors
  • Post something not /tv/ related
  • Say you think Rose Tyler is the best Doctor Who companion
  • Start a Michael Moore thread
  • Pretty much anything that even remotely involves Megan Fox
  • Post that the cult television show Twin Peaks sucks, and lulz will soon follow
  • Fuck, posting pretty much anything is guaranteed to piss someone off
  • Spam the board with pics of Victoria Justice or any Nick whore
  • Make a thread saying that Drive was the best movie ever
  • Make a thread saying that Drive is the worst movie ever
  • Make a thread asking if the main character of a movie is autistic
  • Make a thread about how big or small your penis is and ask /tv/ to rate it
  • Say that you actually don't like movies and are only on /tv/ for the waifu threads

Other Forced Memes and Common Images

It's not. Really, it isn't

/tv/ has a large selection of forced memes, a small number of which are listed;

  • Sammy Wilson - an Irish politician with no apparent ties to the topic at hand. Has been posted on /tv/ for at least two years straight.
  • Horsefaced bitch - any actress
  • Problem Child 2 - The stock answer to any question asking for recommendations or help identifying a movie
  • ACK ACK
  • hey guys lets fix the galactica
  • Wat is That? A SCAR - Picture of Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass with crude MSPaint circle of part of the image and asking the aforementioned retarded question.
  • Was it rape?- An image of a movie sex scene asking if the said image was rape or not.
  • Is he autistic?- An image of an actor with the text saying "Is ______ autistic?"



How Come He Don't Want Me?

Where Do You Think We Are?


/tv/ on Encyclopedia Dramatica

A majority of the vandalism on ED surrounds articles about deviantArt, furries, fags and religion. However, this article generates an unbelievable amount of vandalism, proving that the rich and sophisticated culture of /tv/ is worse than the bunch of racist pedophile 13 year olds on /b/.

Most of the vandalism comes from one superfaggot who bitches like nothing you've ever seen if you say anything bad about his internet girlfriend he is stalking, Summer Glau. Maybe if he keeps defending her honor, one day she will drop the restraining orders against him.

   
 
i guess this faggot article from people who never go to /tv/ is worth dying over, your move creep


 


 
 

Internet Tough Guy continued

   
 
KILL THIS FUCKING PAGE OR I WILL FIND YOU AND IT WILL NOT BE A SOCIAL CALL


 


 
 

Internet Tough Guy continued continued

   
 
I can do this forever, and if page is locked, I will edit other pages


 


 
 

—and he did.

   
 
Fuck off back to /b/ newfag tourists, you know nothing about /tv/.


 


 
 

Irony

   
 
>implying the last time you had pussy the pussy didn't have you


 


 
 

more irony

   
 
this entire website is vandalism by permavirgin faggot


 


 
 

even more irony

   
 
i am unemployed and can do this all day every day forever


 


 
 

—This guy may be Grace Saunders

   
 
your mother is so fat she has a glass eye with a fish in it, turkey baster [is] your dad


 


 
 

what


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See Also


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