Tyler Dumstorf

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search
Budd Dwyer.gif
Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
FUCK THA POLICE!
True love has been found.
With retard friends like these, no wonder he killed a guy.
An hero's friends revealing the gay.
I love t3h mary gee wanna!!!11!
He did.
Tyler had lots of shooting experience.
SPOILER ALERT!
How cop killers perfect mad skills.
Brave Little Tyler
   
 
I just killed two cops. Goodbye.
 

 
 

—Tyler Dumstorf

On June 19th 2007, an hero was born. His name was Tyler Dumstorf, a Floyd Central High School honors student and convicted pot head who liked mind-blowingly shitty music. He was arguing with his mom about the highlighter in his ass and after analyzing her for several hours, she called the police to give him a nice sit-down talking to. Frightened by the possibility of having all his weed taken away and smoked by a bunch of niggers in the police department, Tyler loaded his dad's long and sturdy M1 Garand whilst distracting the visitors with donuts and handjobs. He then shot both cops in the back, because he was an Sniper: One was totally pwned, the other seriously wounded. Tyler then logged onto MySpace, posted, "I just killed two cops. Goodbye." and became An hero of epic proportions. On his MySpace people are too retarded to realize dead people can't see the messages they leave. On a lulzy note, Tyler has received moar comments dead than alive.

4chan was immediately informed and his MySpace was posted, with predictable results.

Contents

'Tis a loser

Tyler's MySpace adds lulz to the equation for many reasons:

1. His last comment before he pwned two po-pos was "you faggit stoner", left by some AZN.

2. His profile is absent of any comment of a female.

3. He has 1 friend of the female, and she may really be Hitler.

4. He's aggressive.

POT?!?!

In the aftermath of such stupidity, it is clear that these events never had to transpire if this terrorist/hippie/dipshit had been properly punished for smoking marijuana, by giving him hookers and blow instead.

Prevention

Stupid hicks often become violent and erratic when police are involved. That's because every person who has upstanding morals is also related to a police officer, soldier, or firefighter and therefore must prove how large their man-handle truly is.

What have we learned?

Killing police officers in a pot induced rage is what's in. All the cool kids are doing it. This is exploitable because the police are only trained in distributing violent beatings to innocent citizens, rather than serving the greater good, or thinking. If confronted, these people often hide behind the bible, Bill Hicks, patriotism, and circular logic. Because the police are fucking heroes and only evil terrorists hate the police. Now c'mon, y'all! Let's go lynch us some queers!

MySpace

In addition, a "memorial MySpace" was created by a 4chan user who sent friend requests to Tyler's IRL friends, adding to the lulz. It used to be here. But the man at MySpace removed it because it created far too much lulz.

Upon receiving a friend request, one of Tyler's friends replied with this:

   
 
"dude go fuck yourself.

you arnt funny and your not making anyone feel better either. your a jackass. go to hell nobody likes you.

especially b/c you make stupid shuit like this. we all make mistakes, tylers was just a big and worse one. this one is your mistake and everyone can tell

and your a dumbass if you think ill accept you"
 


 
 

—Tyler's friend on friendship.

   
 
we all make mistakes, tylers was just a big and worse one.
 

 
 

—Tyler's friend

   
 
we all are mistakes, tyler was just a big and worse one.
 

 
 

—Tyler's friend

   
 
you lived free and you surely died free but all your friends still love you and we can't change what happened but we wish we could but what happened is done in over but me and eli have helped to try and prove your not a monster at least you in a better place man. with all love and respect, Joe.
 

 
 

—Tyler's friend

   
 
MY COUSIN WAS ON THE SCENE, I WAS SO WORRIED AND SO SCARED FOR HIS LIFE MONDAY WHILE HE WAS AT THE HOUSE..I WISHED I HAD KNOWN TYLER, I WISHED GOD HAD GIVEN ME THE CHANCE TO REACH OUT TO HIM. IVE BEEN TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE NEWS AND FILTER OUT THE PARTS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE. THE MEDIA CAN TEAR A PERSON APART SO QUICKLY. RUMOR HAS IT AND I'M NOT SURE IF ITS TRUE. BUT THAT TYLER HAD SOME PROBLEMS WITH HIS PARENTS AND THEIR ADDICTION TO DRINKING. I'M NOT SURE ABOUT HIS MOTHER BUT I HEARD HIS DAD HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM. I WISHED WITH ALL I HAVE THAT I COULD HAD KNOWN, THAT I COULD HAD TALKED TO TYLER. THAT I COULD HAD LET HIM KNOW LIFE COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE. MY LIFE HASN'T BEEN EASY AND I KNOW I COULD HAVE SAVED HIS LIFE, IF HE ONLY KNEW HOW BAD IT REALLY COULD BE. MY MOTHER HAS BEEN MARRIED 5 TIMES, I DON'T KNOW MY REAL DAD, MY MOTHER IS A DRUG ADDICT (METH AND CRACK) SHES A HEAVY DRINKER AND MY RECENTLY DIVORCED STEP FATHER IS A VERY HEAVY DRINKER AS WELL. I AM A SINGLE MOTHER OF A LOVELY SON I AM TRYING TO RAISE HIM TO LOVE HIS GRANDPARENTS BUT ITS SO HARD. I WOULD GIVE SO MUCH TO REACH OUT TO TYLER AS I WOULD REACH OUT TO MY SON IN NEED. \I AM SO SORRY FOR HIM... I AM SO SORRY HE HAD TO MAKE SUCH A GROWN-UP DECISION AT SUCH A DELICATE AGE... HE HAD SO MUCH LIFE TO LIVE....... I WILL PRAY FOR HIM... I HOPE NOW.... HE HAS FOUND THE PEACE HIS HEART HAS YEARNED FOR....
 

 
 

Anonymous Woman??

   
 
"Ich liebe dick."
 

 
 

—Tyler's best 'friend'

Previous Quote | Next Quote

A collection of subject related, though totally fucking lame jokes

  • How many people did Tyler's father kill?

-1, he shot (and killed) the Sheriff but he did not kill the Deputy.

  • What ammunition was Tyler using (it penetrated bulletproof vests)

-M1 Garands are chambered in .30-06 Springfield, and any loading in that caliber (and pretty much any rifle caliber) can penetrate soft body armor with ease.

-For the lulz.

-Obviously not since both men were shot

  • Was he a NWA fan?

-He more then likely enjoyed the musical stylings of both NWA and Eazy E which he enjoyed in his many hours smoking Weed and FUCK DA POLICE!!!!!

-It is known that he began playing GoW with a fellow classmate fairly close to his death, possible link?

See Also:

External Links:

Jailsuicide.gif
Tyler Dumstorf
is part of a series on
An Heroes

Crosshairs.jpg
Failures

Crystal ShinkleJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonBrandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKlerckKurt CobainLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Nikki CatsourasOtoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonYasmin Browder

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco



Featured article July 2, 2007
Preceded by
Dustin Diamond
Tyler Dumstorf Succeeded by
4th of July
Personal tools
a
Spam ED Everywhere

Anonymous VPN



Find us on Google+
VPN Service