Tyra Banks

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Tyra Banks is FIERCE
Tyra Banks is FIERCE
Please Do Not Feed The Models

Tyra Banks is a semi-famous crazy ass black person, known for when she was a hot supermodel. Sadly time has not been kind to her, she is a fattie who covers it up and is batshit insane. She has been host of not one, but TWO fucking useless shows on television. Basically she is the younger, fatter and more lulzy version of Oprah Winfrey.

As quoted by someone on CrushYiffDestroy, "I don't care if I've got a naked Tyra Banks and her virgin twin sisters on the bed in front of me, if a trip to the hospital with a bleeding asshole is even a remote possibility, you can bet your life I'm gonna keep it in my pants and end the evening with an ice-cold shower."

Work it, BITCH

The Hot Years

Tyra was forcibly removed from her mother's womb at least 100 years ago, making her old as shit. She was always tall and thin so she was OMG TEASED LIKE ALL THE TIME. It's not, like, her fault she is so beautiful and everyone else is fugly. She attended Catholic School and we only hope she got the shit beaten out of her by the nuns. She moved to France when she was seventeen in order to pursue modeling. Evidently she liked the smell of fermented grapes and B.O. However, the French were impressed by her fierce walk that she got a shitload of jobs...but the only one you pervs care about is Victoria's Secret (ZOMG ASS N TITTIES).

Television and Film (aka Let's Count the Failures)

According to Failpedia, Tyra's first television appearance was on the greatest show ever made, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Some minor roles in film were thrown into her page, the only lulz-worthy one (due to extreme retardation) was "Life Size" with a pre-hot, pre-druggie Lindsay Blohan. However, you can watch her FIERCE acting in her death scene from Halloween: Resurrection below.

America's Next Top Model...

Cock goes where?
IMMA FIRIN MAH TYRA!!!

In 2003, Tyra decided that it would be a great idea to start a reality show called "America's Next Top Model" that would shape young ladies into FIERCE supermodels, without any of them making it big outside of the show. It's on the zillionth run, because America loves to watch bitches cry like a fat kid at a Vegan Convention. They explored many interesting and highly innovative topics such as "One Chip or Two?", "How to Monitor Your Food Intake," "Laxatives vs. Fingers Down Throat-What Works Better?," and "How to Look Like a Coked-Out Whore on Purpose." ANTM also showed the world Tyra's exceptional talent to go from black person to white at the drop of a hat, proving that she's a very versatile woman. Here is an ever so awesome clip of Tyra wigging out

TYRA: DA SHOW

Tyra Knows Drama

Miss Banks wants to be the next Oprah with better boobs, so she started her own fail show that is popular with the niggas and teh gheys. Everyone knows not to fuck with Oprah. Most of her shows tend to defy the wtf factor.

In one episode, Tyra even pretended to go to prison:

Imagine that: a black person in prison. What will they think of next?

Not Halle Berry

LOL DAT AIN'T TYRA

Since all black person look alike, it's easy to confuse Tyra with Halle Berry.

Halle Berry can read.dumb nigger in jail
One of these black person forgot to cover her tits.

How do you tell them apart? Who the fuck knows?

Tyra Doesn't Like Pointy

Tyra's Rage

This is what happens when you piss off a black woman with too much self esteem (that would be any black woman). Lazers will be charged and lazers will be fired:

Xtreme Tyra Debates

Apparently supermodels have rabid fans, using all caps and bad grammar to defend their precious idols. Here is what some people have to say:


   
 
Hello! What's wrong with you? wHAT'S WRONG WITH SOBBING? cAN'T SHE FEEL EMBarrased...ISN'T SHE A HUMAN? SO WHAT ARE YOU? A F**KING A PEA BRAIN OR WHAT? AND I AM TALKING TO YOU bud82 no one cares love..I CARE! needless to say even this brought on more Tyra sobbing. TYRA IS STRONGER THAN YOU THINK SHE IS, IF SHE ISN'T SHE WILL NOT BE THE FIRST AFRICA - AMERICA TO BE IN GQ GOT THIS? OH I THINK YOU ARE SOBBING NOW, GET THE FACTS RIGHT, SHE IS A PERSON WITH SUBSTANCE UNLIKE YOU, AND SHE LETTING HER DOCTOR CHECKING BECAUSE SHE WANTS US TO KNOW ABOUT THE TRUTH, AND YOU ARE STUPID ONE WHO IS NOT WATCHING IT, AND Destiny Wayans I THINK I SHOULD CLEAR THE MISUNDERSTANDING , she is not phony, she cares for the models and she discusses them with the other judes and the phony things that she says are not phony, they are facts in the Model World AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN A WHITE WOMAN, ARE YOU LOOKING DOWN ON THE AFRICA AMERICANS?SHE IS PROUD OF WHO SHE IS! AND IT IS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT CAUSES CONFLICTS BETWEEN THE AMERICANS! AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH AFRICA AMERICANS? THEY ARE STRONG. SO IF YOU WANT TO SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT TYRA WHICH IS UNTRUE, BY ALL MEANS "BRING IT ON".}
 

 
 

—Winter, in response to the Tyra show being called rubbish, http://www.topix.net/forum/who/tyra-banks/T1G9C7B5ASC8GGII6

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, USE A PERIOD WOMAN (moar like don't have a period, amirite?).LOL


   
 
thats mean1 i care bout tyr i luv tyra wat u going to do bout that no affence. p.s not tryin to make confusion
 

 
 

—Paige, http://www.topix.net/forum/who/tyra-banks/T1G9C7B5ASC8GGII6


   
 
SHE WAS TO FAT TO BE MODEL RIGHT FROM THE START. THE ONLY REASON SHE GOT THE COVER IS HER SKIN COLOR. SHE NEVER DID THE WORK IT TAKES TO BE A GOOD MODEL. BEING BLACK GAVE HER A FREE PASS TO HAVE A HUGE FAT ASS AND THIGHS. SHE HAS SAID SHE HAS NEVER WORKED OUT A DAY IN HER LIFE. BEING BLACK IS ALL SHE HAD GOING FOR HER. HER AGENT SHOWED HER A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WOULD NOT WORK WITH HER BECAUSE OF HER HUGE ASS AND HIPS SO SHE WENT THE OTHER WAY AND ASKED TO BE PUT WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKED FAT PEOPLE. SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN TO FAT. READ HER OWN WORDS YOURSELF UNLESS YOUR TO AFRAID OF THE TRUTH.
 

 
 

—Rhoda, in response to Tyra being fat, http://www.topix.net/forum/who/tyra-banks/TLJ5T3G88VRUHPF2E

Tyra Is So Not Asking For It

Video Clipz

See Also

External Links

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