Umineko No Naku Koro Ni (うみねこのなく頃に) is a shitty mystery/fantasy Visual Novel made by a talented individual ryoukishi007 that mimics an eroge Dating Sim but is actually just over 9000 hours of scrolling text with shitty art. Made into animu of the same name. Some argue this work to be the best visual novel ever written! While conveniently forgotting the fact that all visual novels are shit, and this one is no exception.
- 1 An over covoluted Plot nobody cares about
- 1.1 1. the Sextale of the Golden bitch/aka: Clue for begginers
- 1.2 Characters introduced in this episode
- 2 DRAMA
- 3 How to troll fans
- 4 See Also
- 5 Links
An over covoluted Plot nobody cares about
Believe it or not reading this entire autistic trainwreck takes at least 50 hours!! and that if you ignore the generic moonspeak voice acting and shitty powerpoint effects
But if you were brave or hated yourself enough to put you trough this, then beware... you're a faggot and will die alone.
1. the Sextale of the Golden bitch/aka: Clue for begginers
At the start of this self inflicted torture you are introduced to some rich filth of a family in the middle of boat while the sun shines in all his beauty. But since this isn't Alabama nor a porn, you won't be seeing any hate orgy going on, despite how much the weebs that actually wasted money on this crap wanted it to happen.
Despite being an apparent happy reunion you start to sense something obnoxious feeling in the air, and it's not just that bastard uncle Rufus just drop one his deadly soundless farts and expected no one to notice. Long story short, your entire family are gold hungry jews. And this whole trip it's just a facade to strip the gold from a dying old fuck.
To have a better grasp on this pile of shit i am obliged to present you the poor excuse of characters that this masterpiece has to offer, and trustt me there is a bloody lot, cause the lazy cunt of a writter believes in quantity over quality. So the sooner were done with this, the better.
Characters introduced in this episode
Ushiromiya Battler/aka: The libtard
The insufferable main character and lazy way for the author to pander the average weeb, who has to see himself as a handsome alpha male in order to feel safe while aprroaching the opposite gender. He's incapable or distrusting his own family so he has to make imaginary witches to blame for everything that happens to him. You might think that this specimen would be the first to get executed isis style on this kind of stories, sadly his plot armor won't let him eat a bullet, nor a vagina. He's propably adopted considerating he's the only redhead in the entire family
Ushiromiya George/aka: The one who have an affair with the maid
Nobody cares about this one really... He's just your average rich filth in a affair with the maid, no kidding, that's the only thing you need to know about him
Ushiromiya Jessica/aka: The useless one
The blonde inbreed tomboy of the family, you might we'll get something interesting from that description. However the only thing important thing about her is: You guessed it! She's in love with the male servant. He friendzoned her though, showing he is smarter than george whom balls are gonna run down the pavement once his elitist mother finds out about his affair. She likes touhou
Ushiromiya Maria/aka: The school shooter in the making
The loli of the group and the obligatory sick fuck of the family. Known for being the creepy kid who just stands in a corner humming my chemical romance songs.
The story begins with the regular bullshit japanese piece-of-life introduction to a japanese family going to an annual family Orgy.
They notice a hueg portrait has been placed with a portrait of the witch Beatrice is placed in the hall by their batshit insane grandpa along with an epitath with clues as to where he hid the Jew Gold The fun begins when they all begin to die in lulzy ways described in the epitath.
Many a weeaboo have commited suicide when the final, 8th part of the game was released to reveal the bullshit shmalayan plot twist at the end after spending Over 9000 monies to import it from japanese jews. This is highly prevalent on /a/ and animesuki forums.
How to troll fans
- Tell them Higurashi was much better
- Ask them to explain the mystery, watch as they descend into anarchy when their schizophrenic theories start clashing
- Tell them the animu version is better
- Tell them you watched it without sound, for some reason this throws them into uncontrollable RAGE because IT'S A SOUND NOVEL, YOU RETARD
- Throw it in their face that Kanon/Shannon slashfic is pointless because they're the same person
- Ask them how they feel about their furious masturbation sessions when they realise Shkannon is a hermaphrodite
- Tell them that ryoukishi is a shitty artist
- http://07th-expansion.net/umi/Main.htm Original game (japanesu no desu desu desu)
- http://witch-hunt.com/ (English translation project)
- http://forums.animesuki.com/forumdisplay.php?f=93 Animesuki forums
Umineko is part of a series on
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Umineko is part of a series on
Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.
Umineko is part of a series on 日本国