If you always wanted to know what would happen if My Little Pony (before it just started to suck the dick of its own fandom and creators) and Hello Kitty had dirty, party boy, ecstasy fueled gay sex behind some garbage cans at a rave, then you're probably a really sick fuck and should get some help. It was when MLP and Hello Kitty were getting ready for a second round of their dirty Shit packing when MLP was giving itself an enema to make some room for another round of Hello Kitty when this turd fell out and seeing its marketability, they named it Unikitty.
Like most things that are designed to be marketed to girls aged 12 and under, Unikitty is becoming another cartoon in the history of Autistic basement dwellers that feel the need to post videos of themselves cumming on plastic figures while telling the world how Unikitty taught them emotions that they thought they were born without like love and trust.
The Bipolar main character of the show as you can probably tell by the Big, Glowing Colorful title at the beginning of the show that has the misfortune of being voiced by the slowly dying, quickly going insane, dog whistled voiced Tara Strong. If you weren't able to figure out that this is the main character and central figure behind the show's plots, Just give up now because you’re a retard. She's the legally and democratically elected Psychologically unstable dictator of the Unikingdom that is badly in need of some tranqs, a good fuck or maybe even both. Her goal is to make everyone in the kingdom happy even if she has to burn her kingdom down to the ground to do it. Unikitty's goal as a female character is to show young girls that Wimmins are capable of running a kingdom on their own, so long as they have capable men around telling them what they need to do after they've thrown a dish breaking, wall smashing, burn down the house and everything around them temper tantrum for attention. In later years, Unikitty became the final boss of the internets.
Unikitty's younger brother and is only in the show to appeal to the show's ADHD audience while serving as a propagandistic tool to teach little girls that boys have no interest in anything unless it is a video game, dirty, violent, shiny, sex related or flashing their Breasts boobs at them
Unikitty's bodyguard. Really wants to fuck the fox. In one episode he tried to admit the feelings he has for her but she rejected him faster than a Ivy League University declining a black man's application. Out of all the character's, he is the most likely to Die alone but before that happens, he will probably end up having rape sex with Dr. Fox right before he blows his teeth up and out through the top of his head thanks to a shotgun mouth wash. The best chance Hawkodile has at a long term relationship with Dr. Fox, or anyone else, is keeping her safely stored away in his walk-in refrigerator and snuggling with her dead body after he's killed her. Did we mention he has the same voice as Sonic the Hedgehog?
The smartest of the characters, also has the most porn. Famous throughout the land for her accidental discovery of sex toys when Unikitty accidentally tripped, fell and found her way home into the box of Dr. Fox. Hawkodile stands no chance when batteries can get it done better than 35 seconds of a cross-breed man's manic grunts. Once again, roofies and murder are Hawkodile's only chance when Unikitty and Dr. Fox can go ass to ass and let out their ghosts with a double penetrating vibrator set to 12.
Is meant to be the antithesis of Unikitty but, for the most part, can be summed up by every sober thought that your Father has ever had with regards to you disappointmenting him every time you breathe in or wake up in the morning. Much like you, Master Frown is incapable of completing the simplest of tasks on his own and his Friends see him as a walking joke. A future School Shooter. Master Frown is also a secret Neo Nazi and Anti-semite propaganda piece that is hidden in every episode and promotes the creators, along with Ted Turner's ideals for a second Holocaust through the use of subliminal messages. This can be easily seen in that Master Frown's shape easily resembles a hammer and a hammer like Mjölnir or Thor's Hammer is popularly used by groups like the Aryan Nation to promote themselves as being white supremacists.
Richard is a grey 1x3 LEGO brick. As such, he has three studs on top of him. He has light blue sclera and no irises. He is often seen frowning with puffed-out cheeks. and that's it.... Other than the fact he's boring. He's a boring ass block. You're watching a show about plastic building blocks. Another Sonic voiced character.
Think Transformers without the violence, Sailor Moon minus the Jr. High School girls having sex with College aged boys that has to always end on a positive message about how capable girls are and how people need to get along and accept one another as individuals so that the world can become a better place. It's pretty much the same shit that has been cookie cutter produced by cereal companies for Saturday Morning broadcasts since the 1970s.
Why you should watch Unikitty over any other show on Cartoon Network
While the show looks like it was made by a spastic, 5 year old girl with neurological problems and mild retardation, this show is SLIGHTLY better than every other show still airing on Cartoon Network. Here are some reasons why you are probably watching it:
- It's not Rick and Morty or Teen Titans Go!
- You're a retard and incapable of choosing what to watch on your own so you let your Cable System tell you.
- It does not pander to sjws or tumblr users (although the show is made by a girl so only time will tell)
- Forces Shit Head ideas onto kids that being nice, polite, friendly and being accepting of others is how one can make it in this world.
- Will insure that you will grow up to be such a pussy that China will defeat America when it finally attacks because it helped raise a generation of retards and Faggots that think that they can stop the Slant-Eyed menace by trying to talk to them and understand their anger.
- You're high
- You're locked in the dayroom of a psych ward because you were caught cutting yourself and the nurse is refusing to change the channel.
- Promotes the idea that a single person, with the God granted right of being born into the right family, has every and all right to rule over people without question and if everyone were to accept this one person's God given right to rule without question, then the world will become a Eutopia where everyone's needs are met and happiness abounds.
- In other words, it's a basic girl fantasy where one lucky Mary Sue charactor gets to be a princess and everyone is subservient to her because she is their Better
- Adventure Time
- Cartoon Network - The network responsible for this show.
- FUNImation2002 - The creator of this article who ironically is a Unikitty fan.
- Gravity Falls
- My Little Pony
- PAW Patrol - Possibly the reason Cartoon Network chose to make this show.
- Rick and Morty
- Sailor Moon
- Star vs. the Forces of Evil
- Teen Titans Go! - Made by the same animation studio.
- The Loud House
Things You Will Most Likely Miss Out On Because You're Over 14, Male And Watch This Show
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