User:AlGore/Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold

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Info non-talk.png For the tragedy and its consequences and aftermath on the world, please refer to: Columbine.
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Eric David Harris & Dylan Bennet Yassenoff Klebold
Nationality: Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
Highscore Killed 13, injured 24
Top 25? Yes. #7.
Style Co-Op
An Hero? Yes


INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPHS HERE

Anyone reading this is fully encouraged to contribute to this project, so long as the edits are good. Facts are encouraged as much as possible. Use them to spin the article towards the POV suggested below:

Focus of article:

Describe how they were the real jocks/bullies all along

they were closet queer and that was one of the major reasons why they went ape

insult the image of those 2 assholes as much as possible

theres a fuckload more topics to add to this page, we need to make a action plan for how to write this article out.

First, the introduction should be lulzy (put in some banter about Eric being a psychopath, Dylan's Satanist Jewish family). Then we can move on to covering stuff like their DOOM obsession and internet escapades. Mainly focus on how they were gay and persecuted for it and thats why they did it. Respect the murdered victims, please.

Childhoods

Eric's Childhood

Dylan's Childhood

Dylan was born on 9/11 (lul), 1981, to Tom Kleboldowitz and Susan (née Yassenoff). His parents were Satanist Mossad agents who would eventually aid in the September 11th terrorist attacks, hence their son's birthdate. The family often practiced blood rituals at home, in which the blood of Christian children would be consumed to harness their life force. When Dylan discovered DOOM, his addiction needed no explanation.

Adolescence

Describe the time as teenagers, and time at lolumbine hs.

Middle School

Describe how the 2 fags met and became butt buddies since the mid 90s.

Eric's Anger towards Dylan

The following is an excerpt from Susan Klebold's memoir.

"The summer between Dylan’s sophomore and junior years was low-key. There was, however, one disturbing incident, and it involved Eric Harris. Dylan hadn’t played soccer since kindergarten, but he decided to join the team Eric played for that summer, and they gave him a shot although he had no experience and few skills. We were pleased to hear he was joining the team, as soccer wouldn’t strain the arm he’d injured pitching. Plus, we admired his willingness to try a sport he hadn’t played in years. Dylan wasn’t a great athlete—he was strong, but lacked agility and the coordination to manage his long, gangly limbs. He did not play soccer particularly well, but he attended practice faithfully. When the team made the playoffs, Tom and I came out to watch. Dylan played poorly, and the team lost.

Still sweaty, Eric and Dylan came over to where we were standing with the Harrises. Before we could congratulate them on a good effort, Eric began to scream. Spittle flying from his mouth, he lashed out at Dylan, ranting about his poor performance. Chattering parents and boys from both teams fell silent and stared. Eric’s parents flanked him and guided him off the field as Tom, Dylan, and I drifted slowly, in stunned humiliation, toward our own car. I couldn’t hear what the Harrises were saying to Eric, but they appeared to be trying to settle him down. Dylan walked between Tom and me, silent and impassive. I was shocked by the sudden inappropriateness of the display, and by the extremity of Eric’s rage. Dylan’s utter lack of affect alarmed me too; he had to be wounded, though he revealed nothing. My heart ached for him. I wanted to hug him, but he was fifteen years old and surrounded by his team. I couldn’t embarrass him further.

As soon as we got inside the car, though, I said, “Man! What a jerk! I can’t believe Eric!” As Tom started the car, Dylan stared out the window with a blank expression on his face. His calm in the face of Eric’s freak-out seemed unnatural, and I hoped he’d allow himself to acknowledge anger or humiliation as we drove away, but he did not. I pressed him, wishing he’d blow off steam. “Didn’t it hurt your feelings, to have him act like that? I’d be incredibly upset if a friend treated me that way.” Dylan was still looking out the window, and his expression didn’t change when he answered me: “Nah. That’s just Eric.”

Trenchcoat Mafia

describe the group here

Plans to NBK

Describe the 1997-98 year and how they started planning to NBK

Partyvan & Arrest

In 1998, about a year before Lolumbine, Eric and Dylan were caught breaking into some random faggot's van and stealing computers from it. They were subsequently charged and V& for failing to cover their tracks. Both offenders attended community service and psychiatric treatment, where they constantly sucked up to their gay probation officer until they were discharged early. Eric was later forced to write an apology letter to Anon; which was very heartfelt. He later wrote in a journal entry:


   
 
Isnt america supposed to be the land of the free? how come, If im free, I cant deprive some fucking dumbshit from his possessions If he leaves then sitting in the front seat of his fucking van in plain sight in the middle of fucking nowhere on a fri-fucking-day night? Natural selection. Fucker should be shot.
 

 
 

—Eric, speaking the truth.

Following this incident, the soon-to-be-killers begun planning their way towards reaching the High Score.

Eric Online

As expected of a socially awkward Beta-male, Eric had an extensive online history ranging from his obsession over Doom to his lulzy blogs where he called out other unfunny fags at his school. One particular instance of his ranting caught the police's attention, who discovered Eric's website and the death threats aimed at one of his ex-fuckbuddies, Brooks Brown.

AOL Accounts

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Romantic Adventures

Describe the Beta Male creep he is here LOLOLOL.

JO MAMMA!

Eric Harris, when he wasn't building bombs or fucking his boyfriend or dreaming up new ways to kill people over IRC with Osama Bin Ladin, had a number of webpages, where he pioneered the anti-joke, mirrored here.

Prime selections:

JO mamma's kitchen lights are SO bright that you can see grease, dust, or any other bad thing in need of seeing.....JJJEEAAAA!!!!!!!!!

JO mamma sees so many stray dogs in her neighborhood that she talks the humans society a lot.....JJJEAAAAA

Jo mamma likes cheesecake so much that she make a pretty good one herself!....whenever she wants!......one......JEEEYAAAAA!!!

Jo mamma has said the word carrot so many times, that she is very good at pronouncing it! JEEEEYAAAAA!!!''

Insults done by REB, VoDkA, and KiBBz (a friend of theirs IRL).

Badass.

Harris Levels

Eric Harris created several .wads back in the mid to late 90s for the insanely popular Doom games. None of his work was good, despite what edgy 15 year old fanboys say. However, due to the massacre, his shit became infamous, rising to be one of the most notable doom wads of all time. Download them here.

Deathmatch: A shitty deathmatch map with a few secrets.

Mortal Kombat Doom: Another shitty DM

Hockey: A lame hockey arena for retards to fuck around in

KILLER: Yet another lame little DM map.

Station: The design is fairly impressive for the times, given how much of a pain in the ass mapping was.

UAC Labs: Probably his biggest wad yet, UAC Labs was a relatively large map featuring a thousand enemies hell bent on destroying you. Featured a few cyberdemons, unsurprising for his adolescent and n00b age.

REALDOOM: A lost mod which was a patch and conversion for the doom games, adding new features and content.

There existed up to a dozen plus more mods he made, but the faggots at AOL took his site down way too fast for anyone to archive any other shit. Plus his hard drives have long since been left to dust in some police station's evidence lockup or some shit. An ancient rumor believes that he made a recreation of Columbine High School as a .wad, but no evidence exists to confirm this.

Journals

Describe their journals here

Gearing Up

Describe how they got armed

Final Weeks

Describe the last few weeks of their existence


Gay Secret That Made Them Kill

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Direct evidence that they were gay for each-other.
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Gay secret that made them kill?

The Columbine killers were faggots, here's proof!

Aftermath

Describe the lolumbine aftermath here

Brenda Parker

Brooks Brown

Best friend of Dylan for a dozen years. Not too friendly with Eric but made up within the year leading up to the attacks, which probably saved his life.

Pedo?

Some time in 2012 or 2013, Brooks made an account on dumblr, where he showed openness towards telling his Columbine story. Already well aware of columbiners, having been stalked by them for the last dozen + years, Brooks showed no hesitance from engaging in conversation with these freaks. Apparently, Brooks Archive today-ico.png couldn't hold back his urges for sexy jailbait ass and decided to blackmail a IRL lolita girl (self described as age 15) with exclusive details about E&D in exchange for an extremely sexually charged conversation. The following evidence is yet to be confirmed but considering Brooks shut down several of his accounts in the immediate aftermath of the shitstorm doesn't make his case look good. Plus he's a San Francisco resident, neckbeard, leftist/SJW and manchild so the chances of pedo (or in this case) hebephillia immediately skyrockets.

The girl who he had the conversation with was apparently 18 during the time of conversation, yet somehow liked to pretend she was a tad bit younger (and illegal), but e-detectives have discovered she had an extensive past trolling and ruining lives.

Causes

Brief paragraph here.

Bullying

Describe the extreme bullying / shitty jock culture here

Mental Illness

describe their mental illness & history

Fame

all mass murderers kill for fame.

Revenge

Describe their revenge motive here.

Shooter's Families

Brief description here.

Harris Family

Describe them here

Klebold Family

Describe them here

Susan Klebold


User:AlGore/Susan Klebold

Revolution of Violence

Describe the revolution of violence these 2 dickheads inspired. 60-80% of all future sk0l sh0ters mentioned them at one point, and Cho, ER, vester, lindsay etc all were big fans of them. Pekka too etc.

Columbine Copycats

Info non-talk.png For a comprehensive list, please refer to Columbine Copycats.
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Eric and Dylan shocked the nation - and the entire world. Many alienated teenagers began to see them as godlike entities and were inspired to commit similar acts of mass violence as a final "Fuck You" to the world before they left. To this day, hundreds of these admirers have committed or been caught planning acts of violence, directly inspired by their gods, Reb and VoDKa. Only 4 of them were Female, mainly because women are dumb, weak and are massive pussies. They NBK by mind-fucking beta faggots into committing An Hero, much like Rachael Scott and Robyn Anderson did. At least 100 total murders have been attributed to Eric and Dylan and their Revolution.

Notable copycats include:

Columbiners

As the internet evolved from Web 1.0, socialization became inevitable and richer than ever before. New sites like YouTube came to be, as technology finally advanced enough to allow it. A new generation of kids grew up in this world, many more disturbing, weird and liberal than any in history before. These kids weren't around when Columbine happened, but somehow discovered the story later in their lives. They garnered a sick obsession for this tragedy and made a nest for themselves on Tumblr, where they number in the tens of thousands. Many columbiners are female, and hold a disturbing sexual interest in the two dead nerds. A few of these sick fucks attempted Mass Shootings or resorted to knife-only matches IRL and got v&.

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Basement Tapes

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Hitmen For Hire

all of the basement tapes go here plz

Other Video Projects

other footage they made can go here too

Gallery

Info non-talk.png Please refer to Columbine Gallery.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 13/20
Accuracy: 7/20 13 killed, 24 injured. Sloppy.
Style: 13/20 Generic massacre
Butthurt: 1488/20 Columbine
Bonus: 20/20 A massacre to be remembered
Total score: 73/100 (C)
The suicidal teen's role models


Columbine Cash

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Hey Jocks,

My name is Eric Harris, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are buff, retarded, douchebags who spend every second of their day tormenting innocent kids. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever taken AP classes? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because they are weaker than you, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than shoving kids into lockers.

Don’t be a bully. Just let me shoot you with my HP 995 Carbine. I’m pretty much GODLIKE. My AOL site has over 9,000 hits, and I have dozens of pipe bombs. What achievements do you have, other than benching over 300? I also get straight A’s, and have been dating a lot of girls (they dont want to be my GF though; Shit isnt SO cash). You are all douchebags and I WILL KILL YOU before prom. Just kill yourselves before I do. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It’s me and Dylan

See Also

External Links

Eric Harris

Dylan Klebold


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AlGore/Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

AlGore/Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againInflict suffering]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAbdul Razak Ali ArtanAdam LanzaAlex HribalAli David SonbolyAnders Behring BreivikBaruch GoldsteinBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-Mercer Daniel PetricDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerAmanda KnoxGeorge SodiniGerry McCannJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly VoongJoe StackJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMalik Nadal HasanMarc LepineMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew MurrayMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsMichael CarnealMichael RyanMichael WoodmanseeMutsuo ToiPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSebastian BosseSteve StephensTJ LaneTim KretschmerTyler PetersonTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWade Michael PageZac Penton

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer

Terrorists:

Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevOmar MateenSanta ClausTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin LadenEric Harris and Dylan Klebold Sam Hyde

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderCannibal HolocaustParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

AlGore/Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold is part of a series on Columbine
[All jocks stand up!NBK]
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Columbine:

ColumbineEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSuper Columbine Massacre RPGDo you believe in godColumbine CopycatsColumbine GalleryColumbiners

Admirers

TheAmazingAtheistBrooke Higgins and Sienna JohnsonCho Seung-HuiIchverbotAlex HribalJaylen FrybergKimveer GillRyan SchallenbergerRobert Butler Jr.Pekka-Eric AuvinenAdam LanzaJeff WeiseDillon CosseyAsa CoonNghtmrchld26Lindsay Kantha SouvannarathSebastian BosseTim KretschmerLynn AnnYou

Locations:

ColoradoUnited StatesSchoolSuburbs

Related:

DoomPolice BrutalityPostalSchool ShootingMass ShootingVideo gamesTrenchcoatMarilyn MansonKMFDMRammsteinGothConcerned MotherNewgroundsRyan LambournSchool Shooter: North American Tour 2012The MatrixSouth ParkMichael MooreQuentin Tarantino1990sJack ThompsonGun control