User talk:Schnookums

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Listen, and understand. That weasel is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, so long as there are edits to be made.



I intend to modify that fugly template, especially if it breaks some PREG scripting. —  VX  14:24, 22 January 2016 (EST)

That's cool. I've just been doing other stuff so if you can update the template and include instructions and if illegals would stop raping women that would be great. Weasel avatar2.png reply 15:17, 22 January 2016 (EST)


Since you apparently want to do some scripts, I have a proposal for you. Instead of me going manually through unused images, perhaps you could script some of them. I was thinking that perhaps you could take some of the names from Image dumps, and it will search through all of those. Like for instance it searches Brianna with the suffixes 1-1000. It would great if it searched all kinds of image formats. Would some proper pre and suffixes, I am sure it would get 98% correct. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 06:10, 28 January 2016 (EST)


when are you available to talk about shit there, weasel?  — Preceding comment added by Tai "Rogue" Edgelord Cheney (talkcontribs), who is too much of a fucking retard to sign their own posts. IT'S FOUR TILDES (~~~~), NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!

Anonymous need your help please [email protected]  — Preceding comment added by Ddiimmoonn (talkcontribs), who is too much of a fucking retard to sign their own posts. IT'S FOUR TILDES (~~~~), NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!

Re: Re: Rename

Okay, I've made my decision. I'd like to be renamed "KaneLives95." --LoverOfBats 14:42, 31 January 2016 (EST)

can we make a ness memorial page

?? The best girl there ever was.png 20:25, 31 January 2016 (EST)


thanks for handling that. i'm in bed with "a cold" and haven't been paying much attention lately. :) -hipcrime Emote Pop tart cat.gif 14:39, 6 February 2016 (EST)

yes plz. it's been freezing here lately. :3 -hipcrime Emote Pop tart cat.gif 15:38, 6 February 2016 (EST)
LOL AIDS. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 16:02, 6 February 2016 (EST)

Removed Dox

I removed the addresses and phone numbers for Geekgirl per the no dox rule. I noticed there is a long edit history for her, so if I was wrong to remove the dox please let me know. Thanks. - Zew0 14:51, 13 February 2016 (EST)

Don't Worry

I won't let you down, bro. And thanks! - Zew0 01:48, 17 February 2016 (EST)

Bahleeted Cunt-tent

I know that you will just send me dickpix, before you'll take the trip to Denmarkistan, so you can rape me in the night, so we can fall in love, and have hot steamy gay sex all the time, so we forget our important tasks here on ED, and then ED will wither and die without our precious input. So that's why I can't. Also a weasel and a cat, what would the children look like? Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 04:38, 18 February 2016 (EST)

A jaguarundi is science gone wrong. Just a prank bro. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 05:17, 18 February 2016 (EST)
The etective one? It is bootiful. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 05:27, 18 February 2016 (EST)
I will find you, and I will kill you. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 05:27, 18 February 2016 (EST)

Moon Man

What do you think of the text shadow shit I've used in the Moon Man article? I thought it needed to be moar white. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 10:58, 21 February 2016 (EST)

Yeah. The worst part is not even the text but the links :D. I could make the shadow much darker, but then again, not so much KKK power. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 14:11, 21 February 2016 (EST)

Trigger happy

It seems that one who did shit to the Bonnie Combs shit was sorta right. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 13:47, 23 February 2016 (EST)


Is it half-way ded or something? It seems that some images and shit like here ain't working. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 10:43, 28 February 2016 (EST)

I found the problem. "sibin had a look". Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 10:53, 28 February 2016 (EST)


Twitter-favicon.png #You are gay Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 11:51, 3 March 2016 (EST)

There. I think that solved it. Real nice coding there, Twitter. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 12:30, 3 March 2016 (EST)
Speaking off Twitter, this. But according to the main page Drumpf is the main page, so the Twitter bot must be 2 days out, or some shit. Fix it. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 14:35, 6 March 2016 (EST)

Locked Out of EDF

I stupidly locked myself out of EDF, and password reset won't send the email. Can you help me with that? - Zew0 14:32, 9 March 2016 (EST)


I didn't receive an email. :( - Zew0 17:06, 9 March 2016 (EST)

OK, sent! - Zew0 20:00, 9 March 2016 (EST)
Thank you! - Zew0 21:48, 9 March 2016 (EST)

Grease Monkey

Thanks, but I was just browsing mediawiki, when I came across something I wanted to try out. Just to see how easy it would be to make a new navigation menu, so that the site is better for mobile users. I assume the upgrade to a mediawiki from this millenia is still underway? Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 09:08, 14 March 2016 (EDT)

I just think that a more responsive wiki would be better. So the site actually looked decent on mobile. I wanted to do something like has for mobile, where the left menu actually becomes a drop-down instead. The issue with this is that it will not allow ads there, for obvious reasons. But it would give a much needed 150-200 px, on a display that might only be 720 pixels wide. And to get people to use BNA/GNA, I think they need to be in the navigation menu. When you have to go to new pages, and then BNA.. just nope. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 12:50, 14 March 2016 (EDT)

YouTube HTML5

As you might have read Here some fags want the YouTube embed to be HTML5 instead of shitty flash. And I think I found the way here. It just need a crat to access the YouTube.php and do some changes. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 05:30, 19 March 2016 (EDT)

Grease Monkey

Hey bae-bee I've been away for a while (somebody hurt my feelings) and my page looks like it contains viruses or something now. I don't know if that's just a fuck off to me. If it isn't then this is just a heads up. Dunno if it poses a risk to the site or not if it does consider this message a parting gift. I'm so so sorry user:deadpriest 22:36

Grease Monkey

I realise now my work here was done; there isn't anywhere else it suited me to edit and I'd have just have been reaching for shit I cared about, I couldn't give a fuck about internet/popular culture. Peace/See you in Hell user:deadpriest 22:40

Re I replied on your talk. - Zew0 17:57, 10 April 2016 (EDT)


Looked through their contribs and compared them to 03bgood's, it's the same spam edits to some of the same articles before such as MrEnter, Spax3, and an ultra combo of edits to his own article. Even other users such as Ivo and Lulzkiller pointed out this guy's spam. Banned him under the assumption that it was a sockpuppet of 03's. 1sam234 17:51, 11 April 2016 (EDT)

You are still alive?

Damn. Waste of good bubbly water. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 05:35, 19 April 2016 (EDT)

S5 Notice and Letter Before Action

Unfortunately, as the response to my complaint was 'fuck off', so ...

S5 Notice

NOTICE OF COMPLAINT SECTION 5, DEFAMATION ACT 2013 (UNITED KINGDOM) The Defamation (Operators of Websites) Regulations 2013 SI 2013/3028

In this notice DA refers to the Defamation Act 2013 and DAR refers to Statutory Instrument 2013/3028 also called The Defamation (Operators of Websites) Regulations


DA s5 (6) (a) My name is Samuel Smith, I also use the pen name Matthew Hopkins (a historic figure) DAR s2 (a) The email address at which I may be contacted is [email protected]

DA s5 (6) (c) The statements complained of are at the following URLs - (I)

DA s5 (6) (b) and DAR s2 (b) – (c) The statements complained of read - (I) '"[...]KNOWN CHILD MOLESTOR[...]"' and '"[...] Samuel Collingwood Smith is a Pedophile and Child Rapist [...]"' and all of the associated statements under that heading

• The defamatory meaning imputed to these statements, accompanied by my photograph, is an allegation that I am a paedophile and child rapist.

DAR s2 (d) I confirm that I do not have sufficient information to bring proceedings against the authors of the statements, the users named LikeICare and KiwiDynastia because they are using pseudonyms and do not give contact details and because it is the policy of the website Encyclopedia Dramatica to conceal the identities of its editors and operators.

DAR s5 (e) I consent to my name and email address being disclosed to the users @LikeICare and @KiwiDynastia and anyway it is written above.

Letter Before Action

11 By the Mount Welwyn Garden City Hertfordshire AL7 3SY

Saturday, 14 May 2016

Dear LikeICare, KiwiDynastia and ED Bureaucrats,

Letter Before Action


Basically, before suing I have to write you a letter that complies with these rules here - and if you fail to comply I may issue the Court proceedings and you may be ordered to pay my costs.

And so ...

NAME OF CLAIMANT - Samuel Collingwood Smith CLAIMANT ADDRESS - See above

DEFENDANTS - (1) The user of the website '', LikeICare (2) The user of the website '', KiwiDynastia (3) The operators of the website '', subject to their not responding in the correct form to the S5 notice above.

PUBLICATIONS COMPLAINED OF - Per the S5 Notice Accompanying this Letter

WORDS AND MEANINGS COMPLAINED OF - Per the S5 Notice Accompanying this Letter

REASONS FOR FACTUAL DISPUTE - The Defendant cannot possible prove these allegations, which are put up in retaliation because I got their friend's website taken down by its host (which confirmed there really was child pornography there).

REMEDIES SOUGHT - Damages and an injunction. These would ordinarily be very large, but the Defendants may be impecunious so for the purposes of this action, will issue a claim for £10,000 but apply to amend when and if their identities are revealed.

An application for interim relief to remove the statements will be sought, along with an application to block the website entirely within the United Kingdom. Costs on the indemnity basis are sought for refusing to reply to the complaint in a reasonable fashion.

The user KiwiDynastia also uses Twitter and an order for disclosure of his identifying information will be sought. He may wish to avoid this.

Date for Response Immediately, and in any event no later than 9am GMT 16/05/2016.

Kind regards,

Sam Smith

I am not joking and see no downside to this. Draft N1 is below to underline the point ---> :)



Hi, I'm wondering if I could be granted CheckUser rights. I suspect a possible confidence trick: a single person using one account to "warn" me and gain my trust while using another account to attack me.

Shen1986 was an old foe of Atlantid, but that was years ago, and the "Shen1986" that appeared here could be an impersonator trying to gain my trust. I might be wrong, but I find it strange that "Shen1986" would pop out of nowhere, years after his clash with Atlantid, to prevent "BigAl" from "trying to mislead" me. --JuniusThaddeus 07:36, 14 May 2016 (EDT)

Okay, thanks. --JuniusThaddeus 11:20, 14 May 2016 (EDT)


I thought you were dead. But once again you disappoint by your mere presence. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 10:33, 6 June 2016 (EDT) Why you still not ded? Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 12:10, 22 August 2016 (EDT)

your misery keeps me alive Weasel avatar2.png reply 14:31, 22 August 2016 (EDT)


I've come back to reapply as an editor.JohnathanNiggers 16:19, 13 July 2016 (EDT)


You suck dicks. But on the Game Theory page, the videoframe is all out of wack. But if I put center tags around the youtube tags, it worked fine. That is a bit weird. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 09:15, 31 August 2016 (EDT)


—  VX  03:00, 7 October 2016 (EDT)


Whoa, what happened? I feel like I just woke up from a very long sleep. A lot of my stuff is missing, and my den has been vandalized. I'm going to need some time to recuperate. Hope you're well on your end. Vermin  

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  13:59, 13 October 2016 (EDT)

Very funny, jerk. It still shows as Kittens. Not Kitties, but Kittens. Vermin  
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  21:26, 15 October 2016 (EDT)
tbh i didnt do anything might be a caching issue. on some image pages it says i have a new message even though i dont. also check EDF Schnookums Icon3.png reply 21:41, 15 October 2016 (EDT)
Yeah, that's what's showing as Kittens when I try to log in. Vermin  
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  23:53, 15 October 2016 (EDT)

Mike the Græt

Mike the Great wants his sysop privs back. They were removed a month or so ago due to inactivity, but he seems to be active again now. — GirlOnInternet SquiglySmall.png 23:55, 14 October 2016 (EDT)

eh i'll see if he sticks around and contributes in the main space. someone else might do it but those are my thoughts. Weasel avatar2.png reply 01:20, 15 October 2016 (EDT)
Understandable. Any thoughts on perhaps letting him have his EDitor privs back for now? — GirlOnInternet SquiglySmall.png 01:52, 15 October 2016 (EDT)
quit jacking off your furry friends and give me axx. I have seniority, scrub. Mike the Great (talk) 05:43, 16 October 2016 (EDT)
If you thought this was bad, he's tempting me with his smelly feet Lolgo.png on the forums. But as a senior you should know that privs aren't given to those who ask, they're given to those who work for them. Or to those who make generous site donations. Vermin  
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  10:19, 16 October 2016 (EDT)
Somebody doesn't seem interested in my offer :L 18:35, 16 October 2016 (EDT)
Stop being a cunt and make yourself useful, Mike. — GirlOnInternet SquiglySmall.png 19:17, 16 October 2016 (EDT)
>make yourself useful
This coming from the only contributor on ED that doesn't put out #rektem Mike the Great (talk) 01:20, 17 October 2016 (EDT)

i cri evertim Mike the Great (talk) 16:17, 15 October 2016 (EDT)

4 ums

It worked this time. No more "kittens!" Looks like you need to re-op me though, because that didn't go through.

>Somebody doesn't seem interested in my offer :L

Lifting Blogs. Give it the weasel once-over, then set it, bruh! (And then give me my reward :>) Vermin  

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  01:04, 17 October 2016 (EDT)

it is almost bed time so you can set it. i'll keep my end of the bargain (hopefully) tonight. you got sysop, if it isn't working try poking around. Schnookums Icon3.png reply 08:34, 17 October 2016 (EDT)
Set. And I was referring to re-opping me on the forum. We shall rule together as the fur overlords. Vermin  
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  21:53, 17 October 2016 (EDT)

you'd have to ask the other admins. forum mod isn't so easy to come by. Schnookums Icon3.png reply 09:25, 18 October 2016 (EDT)

Shanks for the invite, but I don't have enough time to be active on the forums anymore, and politics on a satire forum aren't for me, anyway. I emailed you an early birfday cardVermin  
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  11:44, 24 October 2016 (EDT)


Hey, shanks, you must have liked the birthday card I sent ya. What are your thoughts on the article I wrote about you still existing? Just say the word and I'll delete it. I don't think we should be writing articles like that about staff anymore — we're a team here. A degenerate, yet productive team. 

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 VERMIN  23:40, 26 October 2016 (EDT)

I'll see if I can find the birthday card. If I have an issue with content on the wiki I'll take care of it. Schnookums Icon3.png reply 01:33, 27 October 2016 (EDT)
Oh no, you're not allowed to touch your own article, you know the rules. Paws off!
Your birfday card is here. I crafted it deeply from within my unwashed heart. Do you like it? 
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 VERMIN  22:35, 27 October 2016 (EDT)
i'm gay Schnookums Icon3.png reply 08:54, 28 October 2016 (EDT)

Happy Halloween!

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 VERMIN  00:54, 31 October 2016 (EDT)

you're fucked if a weasel gets that close Schnookums Icon3.png reply 08:50, 31 October 2016 (EDT)
I once told a guy that his mom fucked like a weasel... made him REALLY angry. Well, that and the comment about how his head was so far up his ass he could give himself a free colonoscopy. --Onideus File:Sig Rainbow Clouds.png 09:25, 31 October 2016 (EDT)
lol Schnookums Icon3.png reply 10:01, 31 October 2016 (EDT)
Being an Alice Cooper fan, I'm sure you're aware of the opening verse from one of his hit songs: "Billion dollar baby. / Rubber little lady, slicker than a weasel. / Grimy as an alley, loves me like no other."
Anyway, while we're still on the topic of Halloween, would you set this as POTN for me, seeing as I'm now unable to? Shanks. 
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 VERMIN  17:14, 1 November 2016 (EDT)
Make Faygo Showers Great Again — GirlOnInternet SquiglySmall.png 17:20, 1 November 2016 (EDT)

you'll have to use the talk pages to suggest xotn content like everyone else Schnookums Icon3.png reply 23:31, 1 November 2016 (EDT)

Or I can just not bother with that shit anymore. 
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 VERMIN  00:15, 2 November 2016 (EDT)


Does this mean I have to do actual work now, rather than just titting about for my own amusement? Sidecar 12:50, 2 November 2016 (EDT)

  • No, that's what the editors are for, apparently. All you have to do is stay lazy, drunk and high. You're a sysop now, dawg. Krade Gavel Icon Small.png 12:52, 2 November 2016 (EDT)

NEED Help with an article...

I fucked up 2 and a half years ago and made ago shit article with lies and slander and revenge porn on Sparx Traxx How do I get this shit taken down? I don't want to live knowing that I destroyed someone's life like this. Admins don't seem to understand. Maybe by you being a furry, you can understand a bit. Thanks. --Aero 05:21, 4 November 2016 (EDT)

i looked at the talk pages and you tried to put this fire out with gasoline. there is nothing i can do even if i wanted to. Schnookums Icon3.png reply 09:15, 4 November 2016 (EDT)


The only reason I wrote that shiz to you on the forum was because you kept saying "if vermin fucks up, he's gone" all the time and I got tired of hearing it. If you interpreted it as something else, that's your choice, you know? I told the crats on the forum if they didn't want me on there, then I'd stay off of there, and I also wasn't gonna upload anymore personal photos of myself or write anymore furry fanfics etc because it annoys people and I'm not here to do that. That was an act of troll's past. I can move on from it, so I don't see why anyone else can't.

You're the one who told me to go back to the forums after I originally said I wasn't going to (can't link to it because you deleted my talk page) and started talking about uploading your foot pics to me in a thread, and saying "post nudes" on the sysop forum -- I wasn't even gonna do that shit anymore because it got on people's nerves, so I don't know why you would try to get me to do it, but it's whatever. It's like people invite me back to help out with the wiki, and I come back and write 3 articles and set some XOTNs, but then I get baited into upsetting people and then you take my privs. It's like, do you want me to maintain the wiki and write for ED or not, dog? 

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 VERMIN  23:33, 5 November 2016 (EDT)

Breaking news: schnookums is two-faced. World is shocked --Likeicare 01:49, 6 November 2016 (EDT)

email fail

I may have signed up with a throwaway account, it was a few years ago. Try this one: AT Sidecar 11:29, 29 November 2016 (EST)


fix your bot please. Mike the Great (talk) 05:01, 9 December 2016 (EDT)

hello! we've received your ticket. unfortunately after a careful review i am unable to determine what the issue may be. you're welcome to reopen this ticket and provide additional information and from there i'll know how to proceed. thanks again for using Encyclopedia Dramatica and have a wonderful day! Schnookums Icon3.png reply 09:50, 11 December 2016 (EST)

pls don't go :((

••General Niggerson Page me. 15:16, 2 January 2017 (EST)

the other crats can confirm i've been wanting to retire for a while now. really i've lost interest in ED and i have other things i want to do. you can always find me in irc. /query Schnookums Schnookums Icon3.png reply 15:26, 2 January 2017 (EST)
Aw, for real? You could have de-opped Zaiger or deleted the Main Page before ya did that, lol. Go out with a bang, you know? 
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 VERMIN  15:35, 2 January 2017 (EST)
I fur one remember you as my first interaction with ED and hope you'll regard yourself as a "Sysop Emeritus" and intervene from Mount Olympus from time to time, when the occasion demands. Either way, I'm sure this isn't goodbye but au revoir. Go careful. Sidecar 17:17, 2 January 2017 (EST)
Ite, I respect your decision. Have gl with IRL stuff homes. ••General Niggerson Page me. 17:25, 2 January 2017 (EST)

Fucking rofls. mantequilla checked u. Also, regardless of what you think of me, It's nice having u around every now and again. Mike the Great (talk) 00:34, 3 January 2017 (EDT)

He is being a fucking baby, he will be back. And no what he said isn't true he has given me no warning that he is sick of ED. --Mantequilla (talk) Mantequilla.png 20:06, 2 January 2017 (EST)
If that's what you wanna think :> 
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 VERMIN  23:26, 2 January 2017 (EST)
At least show your dick before leaving, faggot. Cobalt Cat.jpg CobaltCat 01:44, 3 January 2017 (EST)
Good luck with that, I'm still waiting on that foot pic from him! 
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 VERMIN  08:33, 3 January 2017 (EST)
You will be missed Schnookums. Ivo Robotnik 00:59, 6 January 2017 (EST)

Peace thanks for the medals on EDF -Swasikasig.jpg (Al Gore) 01:00, 6 January 2017 (EST)

You were my mentor, my guru, my bro on ED. Hope you come back. - Zew0 19:09, 28 January 2017 (EST)
Listen, and understand. That weasel is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, so long as there are edits to be made.


—You lied to us :( - Zew0 12:50, 4 February 2017 (EST)