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Vaginas are clam-smelling slits (which may or may not contain centipedes and/or blood) located on women's crotches. They serve as the most boring hole in women to place a penis and are women's greatest hold-back (as having a vagina as opposed to a penis makes it far more difficult for one to become a badass rapist). Just saying the word in America will get you banhammered by vaginal warriors.
Derivatives and Slang
As with most other sexual terms, the word "Vagina" has countless variations. These include Pussy, Cunt, Snatch, Vajayjay, Vagoo (used only by fags to make it sound less appealing, and by Saber), Pink taco, Cameltoe, Cum Bucket, Clit, Love hole, and Cock slot.
In the UK, the word 'cunt' barely raises an eyebrow -a staple of conversation used with great versatility from instigating a fight ("You talking to me, cunt?"), to shit-popping, ("That fucking wanker Blair is a right cunt.") to a term of endearment ("It's your fucking round; get the Britneys in, you cunt."). In fact, just as most American men can't find a woman's clitoris, most Brits would point to their mate Trevor if they were asked where the cunt is.
Usage and Examples
- Noun: (ex: "Did you see what that cunt did?") Besides being a synonym for Vagina, Cunt and Pussy can also be used as a synonym for generally dislikeable people.
- Verb: (ex: "Oh yeah, give her a right cunting, Jonathon.")
- Adverb: (ex: "He skipped cuntily down the street.") Cuntily is being used as a synonym to effeminate here.
- Conjunction: (ex: "I fucked your ho, cunt ass.")
- Preposition: (ex: "I'd like you to go, cuntwards.")
Once you have watched enough pron videos, you would have probably noticed that all the good looking women have good looking pussies and vice versa: all the ugly fat feminists with three or more chins, who keeps oozing hatred out of their gobs, will have fat ugly pussies, oozing all kinds of dread inducing smelly liquids out of them... So in order to correctly predict what her pussy will look like, without actually having to pay for her (huge) dinner first, please follow the following guidelines:
- Does she look good? is she thin or fat? Is she big or small?
- Fat woman will have fat pussies. Short women will have short vaginas. So if you have a small dick, never go for the tall fat women, she might not even notice you have penetrated her. Instead go for the short thin women types - for her you will be king-kong.
- What does her face look like?
- if she has a big nose - she will probably have a large clit too. (small nose and a large clit? = nose job)
- if she has a big fluffy mouth - she will probably have big fluffy pussy lips too. On the other hand, if she has thin colourless lips, you might have problems finding her vagina at all. (it's there somewhere, don't be discouraged, keep on looking and you will find it!)
- If her eyes are big and red - she will have a nice pink asshole. for some strange reason, women with green eyes will have a brown assholes.
- What does she smell like? Does she shower daily?
- Try to avoid women who smell bad. They will try to mask their pungent odour, with all kinds of perfumes and creams, so don't fall for it! Kiss their hand, right after the have washed them. Do they still smell funny? If they do, proceed to the next chapter.
- Not to be confused with fisting
Only feminazis oppose this practice, (though kicking a man in the balls is just fine by them). Good thing is, although they are uglier than most basement dwellers, and have a greater beard than you ever will, feminazis have cunts too. Therefore, the practice applies to them too. If you ever manage to achieve the great success of performing the legendary cunt punch on feminazi scum in your lifetime, you will be admired by all men on Earth and in heaven, and will be praised by Jesus himself.
- Cock goes where?
- Centipede filled vagina
- The Vagina Monologues
- Anonymous pussies
- The Velvet Vulva
- Pussy cats
Vagoo is part of a series on
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|Featured article October 27, 2005|