Vampire Shitty

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Vampire Shitty is not the most active social networking site on the web.
A typical Vampire Shitty user profile, complete with embedded PHP errors.
The Vampire Shitty forum experience will stab you in the eyes.

Vampire Shitty was a half-baked Goth social networking site in pale imitation of Vampire Freaks. The website was owned and mismanaged by a Canadian loser named Chris "Extreme" a.k.a. Chris Strachan IRL, a former Vampire Freak who got a bug up his ass one day and decided to set up his own website, cursing Jet while ripping off Jet's ideas and implementing them (albeit ineptly) on his own site.

The Site


Chris Extreme taking a brief break from WoW to work on Vampire Shitty's servers.

Vampire Shitty is, to be blunt, a train wreck. The graphics are amateurish, the interface is ugly and user-unfriendly, the functionality is very limited and the site in general is buggy and hard on the eyes. While most of the fault can be rightfully attributed to Chris Extreme's general incompetence, much of it could be remedied by diligent work and, where necessary, borrowing and modifying freely available PHP code modules already written for this sort of application. However, Chris would rather while away his days playing World of Warcraft instead of managing his website. It seems that he would rather leave the site management to his admins instead of actually being involved in the day-to-day business of operating a website in the hopes that it won't suck and fail. Since his admins are as incompetent and apathetic as he is, the future for Vampire Shitty appears to be quite bleak.

To make matters even worse, Vampire Shitty has taken on notorious pedophile Ryle Garamonde as a site admin. This decision will eventually bite them in the ass, as nothing associated with Ryle can come to any good. When you hitch your cart to the Ryle horse, you deserve to be taken for a rough ride to some place you don't want to be. The decision to give Ryle site powers further emphasizes Chris Extreme's utter lack of business acumen.

Vampire Shitty makes no secret of its unabashed plagiarism. Not only was the very concept of the site ripped off from Vampire Freaks, one of their banners is a shameless rip-off of the VF site banner (see gallery below).


Ryle quits the internets again, or so he'd like us to believe.

Vampire Shitty has user groups known as "covens," a blatant rip-off of Vampire Freaks' cults. Like all of Vampire Shitty's applications ripped off from VF, the covens are buggy, kludgy and lacking in functionality. In particular, subscribers cannot unsubscribe from cults after they join. (In many ways, this reflects the situation in real-life cults.)

Vampire Shitty is currently hosting Ryle Garamonde's LeaveMyKidzAlone satellite cult coven, which was migrated from VF after the drama associated with Ryle reached its crescendo and the cult on VF was deleted. Vampire Shitty's decision to host Ryle's loli harem only opens them up to the possibility of very real legal and financial liability, as well as the possibility of the coven, and the rest of the site, being endlessly trolled and flamed.

As of January 30, 2008, the code for the Vampire Shitty coven is exactly the same as the code for the former Vampire Freaks cult, complete with the VF logo in the masthead, banners with links to where the VF cult used to be, and a referral banner to FuckTheMainstream, a clothier operated by Synth-Tec Industries. Ryle must be too lazy to change links in the code and re-do banners.

On Sunday, January 13, 2008, only a week after the satellite coven was created, Ryle wrote the following in the coven:

"Laziness and Complacency
Sunday Jan 13, 2008 6:48 PM(GMT)

Good job, I have seen enough. Instead of being the only person that seems to give a royal shit about this organization, I am going away. Im gonna let someone else deal with trying to keep the people active, and coming up with stuff. I am sick to fucking death of people that dont even try. Blah, whatever. When I have to be online for 24 straight hours just to give us the average day we had just 2 weeks ago, and the second i go to sleep it completely dies? No, Fuck that. I have staff meant to pick that up, I cant be on 24/7 people. So yeah, I am out, vacation time, I dont care. If the site and coven die, so fucking be it. Its all up to you."

Ryle was no doubt disappointed that no 16-year-old girls had joined the cult, except for the few from VF who joined Vampire Shitty for the express purpose of flaming Ryle in his own cult. While LeaveMyKidzAlone may have had thousands of members on VF before its deletion, its Vampire Shitty incarnation has only eighteen as of the writing of this article. Most of the subscribers are site staff and, most likely, moles from VF.

A dispute with Vampire Freaks

On January 25, 2008, Chris Extreme posted the following to the Vampire Shitty front page:

Friday Jan 25, 2008 3:34 AM(GMT)

Spamming this site with the html codes to VF's main page is just a dumb mistake. This site will not have new users signing up untill further notice EVEN MORE SO. Thanks to the recent vf spam attack ME and afew VC suporters will now HACK and spam attack EVERYTHING on VF, and we might just take this physical as well

Thank you for pissing us off. Have a great death."

This was in response to some Vampire Freaks subscribers establishing sham accounts for the purpose of spamming the forum and covens. This should be expected, as the residents of Freaksylvania frequently entertain themselves by spamming, trolling and hacking competing websites. This activity does not occur at the behest of Vampire Freaks' management – on the contrary, the VF management actually discourages that sort of thing. However, it happens anyway. If anything else, it provides VF's competitors with a real-life lesson about site security as well as a taste of the Power of Anonymous.

Chris' reaction was, as one would expect, extreme. He immediately locked down the site, suspending all new subscriptions. This was immensely beneficial to his business plan, as new subscribers would only have generated unnecessary and unwanted Google ad revenue. Eventually, Chris allowed new subscriptions, although those subscriptions would have to be approved by him alone. Lucky for him, not too many people were rushing to subscribe to his lame website. This gave him more time to play WoW and work more bugs into the site's interface.

New subscriptions were approved, often with delays as much as three days. As it turns out, most of those new subscriptions were indeed moles and spammers from VF. There was also apparently a DDoS attack on Vampire Shitty, although it probably went unnoticed since the site has so few subscribers, the vast majority of which are never online. In response to the recent attack, Chris once again disabled open subscription:

Wednesday Jan 30, 2008 8:03 PM(GMT)

Ok i know this site has been lacking in alot of stuff. it isnt like it use to be and yes i am some what blaming vc/lmka haters for this, partly my fault as well for mostly playing a very addicting game for the past few weeks. I will being doing advertizment in the game for this site soon BUT first i need to update the site to make it look and work better.

I did forget about the site when the server came under a DDoS attack but now that attack is over and things are coming back so I will soon be working on stuff. Asking Owners to help me out with stuff and i will contact the owners soon when im ready to start redoing this site...

Due to a resent attack against Ryle and LMKA, there will NOT be any new sign ups untill i get this site secured more with the ability to delete more stuff. As soon as theres more stuff to deal with problems THEN registeration will be back online, till then, invites only"

Chris Extreme has yet to realize that you can't tell if a new user will be problematic, you can only react to a problematic user. But true to his style of making horrible decisions, he's decided to disable subscribers in order to keep out the spammers. What an amateur.

Some numbers for comparison

Since Vampire Shitty aspires to be Vampire Freaks (while simultaneously hating VF), a comparison of the two sites is absolutely necessary.

site feature Vampire Freaks Vampire Shitty
subscribers (as of 1/30/2008) 1,375,165 122
users online (at 18:30 CST) 3,795 0
user groups 32,112 cults 25 covens
forums 30 public, 2 VIP 1
band profiles 1,381 0
streaming radio channels 4 0
event calendar yes no

The End


On Tuesday February 26, 2008, Chris finally admitted in a well polished post that his ham-fisted efforts to create a social networking website were all in vain.

As of May 12, 2008 VampireCity no longer exists on the interwebs. And nothing of value was lost.


see also

Vampire Freaks
Ryle Garamonde

Vampire Shitty is part of a series on
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