Vampires Suck

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Vampires Suck is a hilarious new comedy that will change your life forever. The genius film is directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. It stars Ken Jeong, Matt Lanter and Chris Riggi. Needless to say, the movie was a huge success.

One may think that such a movie would be epic lulz given that everyone loathes the Twilight Saga amirite? As of right now it's got a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. In response to the overwhelming negative reviews, a new commercial was released with fake reviews. Being the original writers they are, Aron and Jason brainstormed some absolutely genius names for fake critics such as "Ivana Tinkle" and "Oliver Closeoff". Their comedic whit knows no bounds.

Plot Formulation

As usual, plot is one of the most important parts of the movie. First, you change all the names of all the major characters to avoid butthurtz and lolsuits on the behalf of the author. For instance, "Stella" becomes "Becca" and "Edward Cullen" becomes "Edward Sullen". After forgetting the original script at home on the kitchen counter next to the microwave, sprinkle the entire movie with pop culture references that everyone can enjoy! References and spoof appearances of culture icons such as the Jersey Shore cast, Lady Gaga or The Black Eyed Peas are completely relevant. PROTIP: MOAR POP CULTURE REFERENCES = MOAR FUNNY! Then bake for 70 minutes and allow to cool. Credits.

OMFG GAIS THIS IS GOING TO BE SO GR8!

Joke Creation Step 1

The film has received a considerable amount of praise for Jason and Aaron's unique and simple comedy formula. This formula can be found in their other movies as well, including Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans. When hitting a punchline in any Jason/Aaron movie, context and comedic timing are rendered completely irrelevant! This means that the entire movie can be a constant stream of puns/toilet humor! Brilliant!

Example:

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted*

Joke Creation Step 2: Making It Work

Repeat that same joke at least 100 times. Normally this would be terrible, but Jason and Aaron know exactly how to weave it into the story in a way that's both funny, entertaining, and expands upon the plot.

Observe:

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted*

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted*

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted*

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted*

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted*

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted*

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted*

Edward: You are pretty Bella. I love you.

Bella: *farts*

Edward: *disgusted and falls out a window*

INSTANT CLASSIC. Get it?! Because she farted and he fell out a window! Admit it. You thought it was funny.

The Fans Respond

Ironically, the movie parody of Twilight appeals to roughly the same demographic as the original saga. So, just like anything else involving involving 12 year old girls, this generates massive numbers of insipid videos on the Jewtube. Responses tend to fall into two categories: the Twilight Haters, and the Twilight-baters. Like the conflict between Team Edward and Team Jacob, debate is emotionally charged and general lulz ensue.

I like Taylor Lautner because he has cute muscles

See Also

External links

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