We're Not Afraid

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Introduction

If the rampant lulzfest that was 9/11 wasn't enough to keep us knee-deep in censorship and suppressive leadership (enough to last us a couple of centuries, if the truth be told), it also presented us with the fact that we're surrounded by idiots. Cretins who would rather act just as their governments would prefer them to, rather than how they should (yes, remember that you actually have your own brains and opinions, and turn off fucking Fox News while you're at it, narrow-minded fascist). So, for every enlightened individual / Camwhore on MySpace, we have two straight people who read Harry Potter and post to werenotafraid.com.

Strange, 98% of all caucasian men are afraid of her.

If the internet had been alive-and-kicking during the burning-down of the Reichstag, resilient Germans would have been posting wir haben nicht Angst!! photos dressed like Liza Minneli in Cabaret. In conclusion - behaving this way makes you a fascist, or at least partially responsible for the death of 6'000'000 Jews. Feeling guilty yet?

Bring about the downfall of your leaders, kids, don't go down on them. Sieg Heil!!!

Background History

As every mildly-conscious person in the First World is aware, life as we know it went tits-up around the September of 2001. Terrorists and rumors of Terrorists caused the usually Liberal to go all fucking "patriotic", to wear tweed pants, cover their naked daughter in a burning Stars-And-Stripes, and watch more Burt Reynolds movies than usual.

This Social Revolution, whether started by the Republican Fascists or not, turned into a godsend for a government used to ruling through keeping the populace scared out of their tiny fucking minds. Make sure people are scared of something, some significant other (Not the Limp Bizkit album, although that tends to scare the shit outta me), and they'll do whatever you want them to do.

Targets Of Fear Through The Ages

Many thanks for including me in the lulz, folks!

(In chronological order);

  • Sumerians and their Sodomites (Long time before Christ; at least 100 years ago.)
  • The Nubians (Black. Eeeekkk!!)
  • The Barbarians (Nipsey Russell is a direct descendant of Attila the Hun.Fact!!)
  • The Mongols (Genghis Khan made Mussolini look like Ann Coulter. Are you shitting yourself yet?)
  • The Catholics (Jehovah's Witnesses just don't cut it)
  • Alien Abductions (Don't tell me that that Whitney Shreiber book cover doesn't scare you.)

Pointless Defiance!!

In the face of this fearsome enemy that may / may not exist, common, everyday folk need to feel like they're making a difference; they need to feel like they're defying whatever it is the government in all their wisdom tells them they should be defying. Put one middle finger up at Al-Qaeda while the Republicans stagnate your wages for the fourth year in a row and jack off in your interest rates! HA!! Do you feel used yet? You have your back turned to the issues that really affect your life and you're spending all your spare time fearing a Saudi hick who wears a dishcloth on his head. Morons.

And hey, while you're at it why don't you make sure the rest of the world can view your stupidity like you would a Peep Show in Amsterdam? on July 7th, 2005 a number of London immigrants became an hero when a number of bombs went off on various buses and underground trains. ZOMG!! Britain has had it's own 9/11!! (Even though only about 2 an heros were generated that day. Fail!). The British are known to do things in a far more reserved manner than the gung-ho Americans. So instead of invading weak countries in order to prove their virility, they made a website to prove they were not afraid. SO not afraid that they were willing to photograph themselves in cardigans and Vans, with painted-on smiles. Hard bastards!!

Schliemann discovers Troy, and the depths of repulsion in the bargain!

We're Not Afraid.Com

A defiant Londoner and blogger by the name of Alfie Dennen started the site, initially as a photoblog detailing his own bloody-mindedness in the face of adversity. But after inviting other affected people to send in their photos, the site has blossomed into an all-out dramafest. Anybody can submit a photo, not just Londoners with a wool fetish. Well, almost anybody. A /b/tard posting his customary muddy dick may not be, but that's life.

Alien cock goes where?

Post Your Own Photo

This is not hard. Basically choose the most blurry, nonchalant snapshot you have in your collection, preferably something taken with a Kodak and scanned with some Hewlett-Packard shit. You know the kind of photos I mean, the one's your Grandmother keeps in a dusty photo album with "memories" written in swirly script on the front. (It also smells of cat urine). Here are some suggestions for that magic photo (can also apply to your faceparty / Myspace page);

  • On your grandfather's lap (pervy glare / piss-ridden slippers optional);
  • Hugging "kooky" friend in your Living Room (while wearing a flower in her hair!)
  • Standing somewhere in London, flashing a "V" sign like a berk. Liek, I'M IN LONDON AND I'M NOT DEAD OR BOWED MISTER TERRORISTS LOLLLLL!! Like they give a fuck.
  • Sitting with friends on a crappy shoreline, with not quite enough light to give a decent photo.
  • Sitting on the toilet in the midst of a "difficult one".

With all these options at your disposal, you are ready to join the Middle Classes and watch a steady diet of crap TV, all thanks to the fact that that's what people like you do. Thanks for doing exactly what Osama Bin Laden wants you to do.

Next week, a step-by-step guide on posting a photo of your ass on Craigslist.

The "We're Shitting Ourselves" Retort

For every action, there is an equal-and-opposite reaction - And where there's a lack of teh lulz, somebody is sure to post it. Some three months after this Monster of Conformity hit the web like a sack of soggy shit, an unidentified group of jokers created wereshittingourselves.com, where the more savvy Londoners showed the World that they were indeed, shitting themselves. It's a known fact that human beings evacuate their bowels when under threat, so at the very least we can say that they have the more realistic outlook on things. AK-47 = Bowel Movement, k?

As of three months ago, the website seems to have fallen foul of money / bandwidth problems, and shut down. Thanks for nothing.

Looking Like A Dick: The Future

For as long as the threat of Terrorists, war and Argyle Socks shall roam the Earth, the Bourgeois will be there to keep the Midwest alive, folks. It's what made America great. Until the next natural progression, werenotafraid.com will be there to assure you : There are indeed people out there who make you look cool.

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