Weinergate

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Anthony Weiners Dong.jpg


The first picture.
How does I got hacked?
Confucius say: Man have have name like Weiner... better to let it all hang out... and Tweet it to that bitch

This small penis-related article is a stub. You can help by making it longer, girthier, and more pleasurable.

At around 10:36 pm on May 27th 2011, a republican conspiracy group hacked into United States congressman Anthony Weiner aka Twitter-favicon.png RepWeiner's brain and made him tweet dong pix to Twitter-favicon.png GennetteNicole and about 45,000 other followers. What followed was an online shitstorm that revived and refreshed the media circus for its next news cycle. He claims he has never had an affair with underage negroidic apes, but maybe this is just a cover story, the tip of something larger, that needs its thin protective layer peeled back and then fork-lifted on to justice's scales for all to see.

The media circus, knowing nothing about the Internet as usual, made a big deal out of it, despite that even newfags know that this is something that normal people do all the time. They then proceeded to drag it on for months just to make a cheap joke about his name, which is actually pronounced "viner" in the original German. They even added a little "gate" at the end! Because ha ha, ha ha, get it? Watergate? They went on and on about this as opposed to TEPCO dumping radioactive water into the ocean and creating Spengbab. Because, as the media circus always does, it passes over the lulz for toilet humor, which shows just how mature and intelligent those conservatives really are.

Analysis

Since the original image hasn't turned up, the EXIF data can't be examined. Cue an unenumerable amount of shit blogs raping Google search results with long-winded speculations hidden behind advertisements and teaser links.

Finding any useful information regarding the validity of the image is going to be impossible. However, based on the available evidence, we know that Anthony Weiner regularly updates twitter from his BlackBerry. All screenshots available of the offending tweet don't include the usual via Twitter for BlackBerry®, which could lead a reasonable person to conclude that the tweet wasn't from his phone and therefore wasn't accidental. He would have needed to plug his phone into his computer and upload it intentionally.

We also see that the photo is of a well hung man sitting in what looks like an office (nice floors, fancy chair legs). Yet during this time he was supposedly on the road.

Further testimony by his friend Jon Stewart reveals that Anthony Weiner does infact have a tiny Jew penis, that is not straight but instead crooked like the typical vulture-nose of the species, and it is also well known that Jewish penises don't become erect because they have been neutralized by circumcision.

On June 6, 2011, Weiner held a tearful press conference admitting that he sent the dick pic, but wouldn't resign his position. Ten days later, he resigned from Congress.

Theories

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Happy Valentines ;3
Anthony Weiner's twitter account was hacked by republicans desperate for some good news after losing to Obama and being faced with so many scandals from within.

Unlikely, as republicans and other conservative shitheels have no idea how to use computers.

Yfrog's security is so fail an exploit has already been found enabling anyone to post an image to anyone's Yfrog account and to their Twitter (if linked).

Nothing we didn't already know, but more likely than Weiner going on a crack bender and posting cock to the Internet.

Anthony Weiner actually did in fact tweet his dong. And does it quite often.

Yep. Weiner finally admitted to showing his weiner to about everyone in the world, even a 17 year old prostitute in Delaware. He cried on a mic for a few hours, saying that his wife wasn't there to back him up, and now he's going to "rehab" for the serious mental and physical allergy known as sending pictures of your dick to everyone you know. Seriously, if showing your dick on the internet is something you need rehab for, then half the US would be in rehab right now.

Whipping Out the Weiner - Again

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In 2013, the world's most Jewish exhibitionist decided he was going to run for mayor of Jew York City. After Michael Bloomberg's reign of soda-hating terror, honestly, anyone had a chance at winning, so long as they promised to stop interfering with an Americunt's God-given right to get fat off of sugary soft drinks. Weiner started out ahead in the polls, most likely because a shit hole like New York is the one place he could still get elected despite having shown off his dick on the internet. The race was his to lose.

And then came July 23rd, when a magazine called Archive today-ico.png The Dirty revealed that not only was Weiner still showing his Weiner to random girls on the internet, it was after his sob story in People Magazine about how he's a changed man and was trying to be a good daddy to his hopefully unmolested son. He called a press conference and again told everyone how sorry he is, and even trotted out his sand nigger wife on national television to try to prove that it's no big deal.

Weinergate Part Three

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The news that Weiner was sexting with a 15 year old girl surfaced in 2016, but surprised nobody at all here at Encyclopedia Dramatica. It did catch the attention of the FBI, however. As the FBI investigated the pervy exchanges between Weiner and the teen girl, more evidence surfaced that exposed Hillary Clinton's complicity in an oft-mentioned-but-never-prosecuted email scandal. Weiner's wife, Huma Abedin, decided that she couldn't compete with 15 year old girls and finally dumped Weiner, after his pedophiliaehebephillia (teenage girls are hot and u know it) threatened her job as senior aide to Hillary Clinton.

See Also

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Featured article June 1, 2011
Preceded by
Emmy Rossum
Weinergate Succeeded by
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