Where The Dead Go To Die
|THIS MOVIE DEPICTS ANIMATED BESTIALITY AND CP. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED, EVEN FOR THE SHOCK SITE VETS|
Where The Dead Go To Die is a shittastic horror film made entirely in Cinema 4D. The film can be best described as a putrid fucking mash-up of Lassie, Twilight Zone, several "edgy" Adult Swim shows, several drugs, Down's Syndrome video-editing skills, and a cesspool of blood and gore and other controversial shit that makes any other horror film look like Teletubbies.
With that, you get "Where The Dead Go To Die", the crowning movie of edge and shit made by heavy metal druggie, Jimmy ScreamerClauz (Powerword: James Creamer). This movie simulates what you would see if you really were on drugs, especially with Jimmy admitting he was eating pot cookies during the making of this. This movie makes "Foodfight!"'s animations look amazing and the original "Friday the 13th"'s kills look realistic thanks to Jimmy being a part of the Microsoft hivemind and using a Kinect for his animating work. We're sure Microsoft would totally love the tacked-on endorsement.
This piece has three short stories:
- Tainted Milk, involving a demon dog and a retarded queer boy named Tommy, killing his parents and a fetus cause it was gonna be Satan's infant through the boy's mother's breastmilk. And then the dog fucks the mom's corpse while Tommy fucks the dog on top.
- Liquid Memories, with a druggie that steals the memories of people he kills in a church, including a prostitute, to learn about himself that he assumedly forgot. Likely Jimmy himself, personified.
- The Masks That the Monsters Wear, with Ralph and his Siamese brother's face wearing a mask over them, trying to be a normal kid. Oh, and the Bible Belt father of his future girlfriend, Sophia, wants them to fuck on camera so that he and multiple other sick fucks including Ralph's father, don't have to anymore.
Jimmy meant for the first part to actually be a comedy and for everyone to LOL at, even though it includes several scenes that contradict it, such as a fetus killing, a dick ripping, and the starring boy screwing Demon Lassie in the bum in an act of gay bestiality child porn in order to bring his dead parents back (spoilers, it doesn't, Jimmy-boy only put it in for the lulz), which would make this movie illegal to own in 236 countries. What, your movies don't have that kind of razor sharp edge? These scenes were likely made in order to get on ED's Offended page, even though the entire movie can qualify if it isn't boring you to shit by the end by expecting a dimension-traveling helltrip in every part, which it does.
—Diamanda's seal of approval.
- Labby: A demon Lassie knockoff that leads the three starring children through Willy Wonka's Ride of Hell if you took ScreamerClauz-brand LSD cookies.
- Tommy: The leading boy in the first short, gets led on that his baby fetus bro is going to go evil from mommy's milk, and fucks the Lassie ripoff to try and bring his dead parents back. It fails, and he now has to live with the shame of his first being a mangy dog and now likely having canine AIDS.
- Ralph: The main character in the third part of the movie, with a Siamese twin on the side of his head, so he wears a mask to hide it and the rest of his Freddy Kruger face.
- Sophia: The girl in the third part that is supposedly Ralph's future girlfriend. The focus of her dad's CP trading ring, who unsurprisingly dies and the two kids live happily WTF after.
- The Man: The nameless main character in the second chapter who steals memories from others he kills in a church, including a hooker, and injects them in himself to learn more about them, and to use them to edit his own memories with them for the Shadow Men that he apparently works for. Spoilers, he also dies.
- Shadow Men: The 2D-looking invaders under your bed to kill you and your wife while you have sex. They're EVERYWHERE in this movie.
Everyone else, like the kids' parents, the hooker, a legless war vet, the smiley-emoji faced things, etc. aren't worth mentioning cause they either die several minutes after they appear on screen or are just there to try to scare you for 2 minutes.
Reviewer Victims it has Claimed
- Mr. Pickles - a cartoon on Adult Swim with a VERY similar premise, involving a Satanic dog. Also has a boy named Tommy.
- Cannibal Holocaust - another controversial film.
- Foodfight! - Where The Dead Go To Die, minus the edginess.
- Pain Series
- The movie's imdb page
- The dude's site. He needs the pot more than you know.
- ScreamerClauz will take any attention he can get
- His Twitter
- His Youtube
|Where The Dead Go To Die is part of a series on
[Embrace your inner darkness]