—Snipped from the list of horrors that the OP endured.
- 1 WisCon
- 2 "Take my picture, and post it online, in as many high traffic places as you can muster"
- 3 Other Horrors at the Con
- 4 The Aftermath
- 5 The Inevitable Backlash
- 6 And Finally...
- 7 GREAT UNITED BLIMPWORKS GALLERY
- 8 See Also
- 9 External Links
On May 24, 2008, a Something Awful goon by the name of Rachel Moss attended WisCon, a feminist Sci-Fi convention (that caters to morbidly obese women and trannies, not kidding) in Wisconsin. She brought a camera, took a lot of pictures and shared them in a quickly goldmined thread on SA, resulting in much lulz.
Then the attendees of the convention found out, causing an out-of-control lollercoaster. Rachel was then stricken with troll's remorse, and had the thread taken down, to which SASS decided to show SA how to troll feminists properly and set off a lolcano of heifer rage and blimping out.
Needless to say, there was much butthurt caused by all of this. Fatties everywhere immediately shared their anger and grief on their LiveJournals, quaking like a jello mold and a few took it upon themselves to stop shoveling lard into their cavernous mouths to engage in some internet detectivery. This wasn't particularly hard, as Rachel is a downsie who shared all of her dox on the internet and ran a LiveJournal. As soon as they discovered that Rachel Moss was a reverse fatty, they latched on to this tidbit like they would a case of frosted Twinkies. They also located Rachel's dox, harassing her over the phone with death threats and insults, tried to get her expelled from college, and broke into her work office to leave hate notes torn from WisCon programming pages. Throughout all the clamor, none of these fat female hogs heard the sound of the Internet Hate Machine being fired up in the distance. The thread in SASS exploded past 25 pages instantly after the angry pack of morbidly obese women discovered it, with a weak attempt on their part to flood the thread with pictures of kittens and puppies and some gay porn. SASS replied to the flood attempt by flooding their own forum with pain and pics of corpses, which effectively ended what was described as the most pathetic board invasion in SASS history. Sad to say, the only member of the WisCon community that managed to get image tags working for the invasion was a 38-year old "male" RPG-enthusiast by the name of jhkim, who also tried to blank ED's SASS page a few times before failing at that too. For the record, his last edit on this page was captioning the picture of him with his gimpwife from "Pussy" to "Gay, Unicorn-loving Pussy". That edit can stay.
Normally, even drama of this caliber usually dies down after a few days, but there are so many enraged fat women with blogs that they've declared war.
—Littlem, SERIOUS BUSINESS.
"Take my picture, and post it online, in as many high traffic places as you can muster"
Other Horrors at the Con
The males who thought it'd be a good idea to attend Heiferfest 2008, had no idea they had to deal with sharing the same shitters as the diseased cattle attending.
Most of the panels seem to have been about how oppressed women are, ironically while not caring about the poor chair(s) underneath them that was handling their payload. Enabling the female attendees were complete pansy-assed faggot males who "apologized" for the privilege they enjoy in modern society. Soon after everyone agreed that while they were a putrid bag of fail on the outside, everyone was a pretty pretty princess on the inside. The stampede to the buffet was next where they shared their hopes, dreams, and fecal coliforms.
The WisCon attendees apparently brought cholera with them (the local health department suspects that it was spread by a disgusting porker not washing her diarrhea-covered hands before parking in front of the buffet and covering the food with her shit). Reports state that the manager of the Concourse Hotel, where the convention was hosted, had to bring in a CDC Level III HazMat team to expunge every trace of bovine plague infection after the convention was over. It's unknown where the next WisCon will be held, but it'd be a nice friendly gesture to inform the next hotel of what they're in for should they decide to be the host.
The Inevitable Backlash
Angry Black Woman, Fatty Negress
The Angry Black Woman, also known as Tempest, considers herself to be a very famous blogger. She plans to use her e-fame to destroy SASS, SA, and the Hostess Fruit Pie display at her local convenience store. She's even physically threatened Rachel Moss, presumably by sitting on her. UPDATE: In a true display of nigger work ethic, she abandoned her lofty plans of destroying SASS with posts of tens of kittens within hours, returning to her hugbox and food stamps and presumably reconnecting her IV unit of Crisco. EXCRA! EXCRA!: Ms. K. Tempest Bradford has used Computer Science III in order to obtain the IP addresses of up to all 5 members of SASS, including supposedly the workplace of one noble SASSillian, threatening to make him as unemployed as herself. SASS quaked in fear and has issued this press release in an attempt at reconciliation:
Having received some anonymous taunting on her blog, Angry Black Woman's reader base had heard legends of "Anonymous" destroying multi-national corporations, bankrupting enemies and doing WTC. Warning that her yellow van and family-sized buckets of chicken may be in jeopardy, they convinced her that posting IP addresses of anonymous LJ posters maybe was too risky for an anti-racist crusader. Rosa Parks would be proud.
More Thoughtful Responses
Moondancer, the mother of the 9-year old pussy (that she named Raistlin, I shit you not) who constantly gets beaten up by his sister, has stated that Rachel is damn lucky that Moondancer hasn't whipped out a scary, magical spell on her.
—adriandrake, DUN DUN DUNNN
—Moondancer, after beating her 9 year old pussy son
—Badgerbag, an ugly cripple who is coming to beat up Anonymous
—stillnotbored, not entirely clear on how e-lawsuits work
Several other attendees are also currently in the market for a lawyer, in order to sue the entire internets for laughing at them. As if they weren't already hypocritical enough, the only persons who committed any actual crimes are the fatties.
As mentioned before, some of the hambeasts are planning a retaliation against SASS and SA, but they're probably too busy eating to get around to it. Final Update: The fatties got together and made a huge fuss over having IP addresses of their critics and how the internet is not a game. Apparently somebody told them about this thing called a proxy, so they gave up and went back to worshiping their fake fat goddess. SASS 1, Fatties 0.
GREAT UNITED BLIMPWORKS GALLERY
She's just 'big-boned'...
Space Moose depiction of the feminist backlash
SASS dramatically reenacts a probable contact between a WisCon attendant & Rachel's employer.
He came for all the hawt chix (and to deal Jenkem).
You know what you have to do.
- Wiscon Website
- What Rachel Moss Did
- "Still a Nigger" blog
- "Rachel Moss and the Legions of Hiding Assholes"
- Asking for it
- Rachel's OP with lulzy details about the WisCon seminars (now includes Sunday update)
- A continuation of the classic SASS megathread
- AP: WisCon is a disgusting bacteria farm.
|Featured article May 30, 2008|