From Encyclopedia Dramatica
While Wolfee Darkfang is generally known for his shenanigans involving SecondLife, sockpuppets and irate blogs, he often takes time out to make videos to litter across the internet. Some videos are for humor value, but others are for educational purposes. When making a big deal on "all (he's) done for the fandom", this shit is what he's talking about.
—Wolfee Darkfang explaining Wolfee's totally accurate version of events
The Guru Phase
Touted as some of his greatest troll debunking videos, these were created during the BeastForum scandal where Wolfee was trying to rebuild his credibility and establish himself as a post-Belliachi YouTube Furry Guru. Often champion by followers such as theblackhand2 as being some of the most convincing furry myth busting around, these videos have been long since deleted from Wolfees channel and many mirrors are often attack with waves of bullshit DMCA claims.
Wolfee Vs. The Phishers
The most famous Wolfee video pre-BeastForum, Wolfee claims to have personally ToS'd a PN phishing site from the 2007 YouTube Furry War. He predicts that the perpetrated will be tracked by the FBI and brought to justice, as hacking a YouTube account is totally a serious offense. Hilariously championing that he was "too wise" to fall for such a trick, he touts Furry Supremacy and tells the trolls that furrydom is here to stay. Oddly, Wolfee gives no evidence of pulling off the amazing feat and actually has very little to say about the event, other than that he pulled it off and furries far and wide should be grateful for that.
According to Wolfee, this glorious example of selfless reporting was the one and only reason he was ever targeted by Anonymous, and that a horde of trolls completely fabricated a mountain of proof that he was a dongmongler for months on end because he spoiled a temporary phishing plot that would have lasted for less than 3 days and that still ended up netting dozens of furfag accounts anyway. This trademarked brand of furry logic would be commonplace in every subsequent Wolfee Darkfang Production.
After his fighting back through his WikiFur article, Wolfee decided to make his own debate-style videos in the style of notable YouTube furry puppet Tori Belliachi. In this video, he reveals a number of things that he believes will dispel misconceptions surrounding the Furry Fandom. In reality, they do the exact opposite. Such fun facts include;
- He strives for PG rated entertainment on his channel.
- Hanging out with friends online means he has an active social life.
- In doing so, he has the time of his life.
- He truly admires 16 year old Tori Belliachi. A lot.
- He acknowledges that only 20% of the Fandom is female, therefore making him pretending to be a girl not only acceptable, but necessary. The Furry Fandoms open mindedness makes it so.
- Tells people that no, he is not a Holocaust survivor.
- He likes Conan O'Brien.
- Enjoys the nick-name "Billy", "Willie" even more.
- Has some troll friends.
- Just because you happen to be telling the truth doesn't mean you aren't a liar.
- Not many furries consider sex an important part of the Fandom.
This would be the first of what would later become an entire series of educational videos, a chronological which he would later refer to when desperately pleading his case that he was a high profile and deserving member of the furfag community. More of these brilliant teachings may be found below.
Anti Troll PSA
This video was made at the last throes of the Beast Forum scandal. Using Speakonia he urges his watchers to never believe any troll words and that the word of the accused should trump any and all evidence. As the video proceeds he rambles about how he and his friends totally have evidence to prove his innocence, but that it shouldn't be an issue since he is arguing anti-furries and they would never believe anyway; persuading his followers to simply trust his word as fact and move on.
Wolfee Vs. Troll Sympathizers
In the midst of Darkfangs BeastForum war, several furries began to question whether or not he actually was the all knowing Guru he presented himself as. One specific video caught the attention of both him and Tamias the Chipmunk and the two commenced attempted rape on said furfag. Wolfee proclaims his outrage that the furry dare have an opinion that differs from his own stance and videos, and draws an allusion to trolls comparing himself and all of furrydom. After ignoring his own disastrous doxing incident, Wolfee warns the viewers that the same fate awaits them should they dare listen to dissenters regarding Wolfees trademarked furry extremism. Immediately after calling the individual in question an idiot, Wolfee plays diplomat and tells them that Wolfee will guide them through a wondrous tour of SecondLife and show them just what being a furry really means; despite the person being an admitted furfag. Realizing that people have warned them about Wolfees shenanigians, he namechecks frostwhitefox and tells them to go watch his videos on about him, then insisting that he himself is a human lie detector.
Featured is his ratonga character from EverQuest II - Eschia on the Antonia Bayle server. AB players should never go near Three Toe's Watering Hole in Zek ever again, it's tainted.
Wolfee talks about Voting and Porn Censorship
Another debunking clip, Wolfee talks about proving another individual wrong about porn and yiff being illegal in certain countries. As per usual, Wolfee dishes out condescending remarks about "not researching the topic" and coming to an argument unprepared. He also mentions that a friend, not him, actually did the research. This was a uncharacteristically clever move on Wolfees part, since he could throw the blame off on said "friend" should some information be wrong. As fate would have it, some of those were indeed wrong. Quite wrong, in fact. Blatantly wrong. Almost as if Woflee had indeed researched porns legality and then proceeded to state the exact opposite.
In particular, he states pornography is not illegal in;
- Vietnam ( Is actually illegal, with enforcement being strict. )
- Korea (heavily monitored and only widely available through piracy, which Wolfee refers to as a "thriving industry")
- China (argues that because they can't get rid of all porn everywhere it's still kosher, despite the obvious...)
- Singapore (Pornography is illegal in Singapore. Wolfee then proceeds to describe Singapores famed sexual slavery, which consists primarily of children, as a completely legitimate operation)
Needless to say, the cocksucker clearly had no clue what the fuck he was saying, which thankfully made no difference in claiming the individual was delusional and chastising them for not knowing what they was talking about.
The rest of the video he talks about the 2008 U.S. Elections and spends 4 minutes telling everyone how very independent he is while spouting the evils of Republicans. During this time, he even brings up the Goddamn BeastForum again. It's worth noting that while he has taken to referring to Republicans as "the bad guys", he shares many views with them. He has admitted to preferring John McCains 2008 platform over Barrack Obama's and admired McCains service in the Vietnam War. Wolfee has also stated he believed that Michelle Obama actually hates America, but decided to vote for Black Jesus because Sarah Palin was not against aerial wolf hunting. Wolfee Darkfang based his entire vote, for someone who he legitimately believes dislikes the country, on the basis that killing people is honorable but that shooting wolves is immoral.
—Bloodstorm01, who watched Wolfees 'JUST DO THE FUCKING RESEARCH AND QUIT BELIEVING WHAT PEOPLE SAY!' video, did not research about what Wolfee was talking about, and then immediately believed what Wolfee said on the subject
Constructive Criticism Vs. Hate Speech
Another video where Wolfee cries trolling as a serious crime, Wolfee goes to Wikipedia and Dictionary.com for definitions on both words. When neither of those definitions has what he needs it to have in order for him to be taken seriously, he simply makes it up as he goes along, citing furries and Atheists as races of people. Making the case that if words aren't sugarcoated or make you feel in any way inadequate it is the equivilent of burning a cross on your yard, Wolfee tells those watching that if they are unsure whether they are being hated on to view his videos, and he will assure them that they are a poor harassed soul that only he may protect.
—Wolfee Darkfang, failing to mention that last little bit of definition he tagged on that is the basis for the entire video.
Talk Sex with William Rigsby
Another entry into the legendary Guru collection, this video came together when Wolfee became infuriated that a fellow furry was being ostracized for his choice of sexual expression. In what may be the most unnerving video ever produced by Wolfee thus far, he gives an incredibly detailed on making the meat softer, and that shooting a load into toilet paper is no different than giving it to a teddy bear. He then claims that anyone who thinks the act is wrong is themselves mentally unstable. In a follow up video, Wolfee takes a stand against the haters for mocking the plushophiles. He regales tales of his school yard glories, and reveals that he went to Technical School, as it is totally relevant to the discussion. Concluding his speech, Wolfee makes a point that those who mock the plushophiles are the ones that are confused in their sexuality, and that those fucking stuffed animals are perfectly well adjusted.
It eventually got to the point where Wolfee felt obligated to show the trolls just what a plushophile was. As only he can, Wolfee explained that, believe it or not, plushophilia is practiced in the furry fandom! After a bit of relevant discussion about his own plush collection, he began raging against the perverted preoccupation trolls have with the term "philia", which, as he previously pointed out, simply means "having an affinity for." He is scheduled to host the NAMBLA protest to educate the public at large about related affinity's that have been plagued by the cursed suffix. He also reveals he has "Sonic the Hedgehog in his closet" and all he got on Valentines Day was a teddy beat holding a heart from his Grandmother.
Months afterwords, Wolfee decided the best way to diffuse the situation would be with humor.
Another shining example of his contribution to the fandom. Believing that now masking his appearance would keep trolls from getting lulz at his expense, Wolfee took up a disguise to tell his depressing origin of being a Furry. Blaming cartoons and the fact that Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was cute, Wolfee explains that it was after he left high school, when most people go off to college or begin their adult lives, that he would forsake all of that to become a full fledged furry and fulfill his dream of furry roleplay. The duration of the video is him attempting to mix furry logic and humor as he blamed Something Awful and CSI for the Fandom's bad image. At the end of the video, he seems to be apologizing for his appearance in the video, embarrassed that, even completely masked, he is still an ugly, awkward fuck.
Video can be found here, since the faggot DMCA's it off YouTube at every opportunity.
Wolfee Darkfang plays Cribs
Disgruntled at the fact that he was constantly labeled a basement dweller by trolls, Wolfee decided he would venture into the great outdoors. In order to disprove the blatant misconception that he spent most of his time in a basement, he ventured outside with his camera. In doing so, however, Wolfee unintentionally showed that his actual living conditions were much worse than anything a troll could imagine. By attempting to one-up the trolls, Wolfee proudly showed to the world that he lived in a tiny shack, with his mother, in a swamp. An indoor tour may be viewed here
But at least he's not in a basement!
The Laughing at Granny Controversy
In the same video Wolfee also showed pictures of him at his Grandma's funeral. Off course Dei3and8, and other trolls, could do nothing but laugh.
Vandalism of the Cemetery
During this event,the fact that the cemetery where his granny was buried was vandalized. Wolfee responded, as any mature adult would do, by threatening the vandals with a beating if he ever caught him on the streets. Two teenagers, Trevor Moore age 14 and Devyn Cash age 15 were found guilty for the vandalism. The two “heroes” caused Wolfee moar butthurt than seen in a great while. The two shall be remembered for their epic and unintentional “blow” that hit Rigsby harder than the floor which his head was stuck upon, being dropped at a younger age.
It's worth noting that throughout the video, while Wolfee makes mention of the two smashing nearly 100 graves other than his grandmothers, obviously a mindless, uncoordinated attack at a public setting, he later stressed that it was indeed YouTube trolls that specifically demolished his grandmothers grave, showing us that Wolfee will happily parade a horrible personal tragedy to everyone on the internet if he thinks it will garner sympathy in his war against trolls.
Rant: Fake Friendships
Made after his BeastForum debacle, this video features Wolfee bitching and complaining about the hordes of furries that abandoned him after it became evident he has lying and using them for months on end. Feeling that is simply unfair, Wolfee states that if someone feels something as minor as a years worth of lying and deceit is enough to break a friendship, then there was no friendship and those individuals were simply after something of his; in effect, they are the bad people for not standing by him after he made them his meat shield for his own ambitions. He tacks on some faggy story about being abandoned for being an Atheist, but as he does that in every video of his, it is irrelevant.
Apparently under the impression being a dogfucker had a statute of limitations, Wolfee rages about being continuously mocked for his registration of the BeastForum account and lulz that were had at the fact that 4 of his biggest supporters during the ordeal were his own sockpuppets. He decides that he should no longer have to take responsibility for his actions and proves his word meaningless by saying he admitted guilt before but now he was changing his mind. Trying more of the same "derp derp PHOTOSHOPPED!" defenses that failed to work for years prior, Wolfee attempts to take back the good reputation he lost during the scandal.
Many of these efforts are made in vain however, since immediately after denying being a beastie, he then makes the case that even if he was, "you can't judge me!". He also claims that if he really was an epic lolcow, that the trolls would have more than the BeastForum to mock him for. Stressing his point, he insist trolls mock him for something else, like his appearance.
After being insulted repeatedly for his frightening facade, Wolfee was under the impression that trolls had simply run out of things to debate and were stooping to new lows to offend him, conveniently forgetting his words just prior to the video. Despite being so confident in his victory, Wolfee feels the need to defend his mangled, malnourished to the public face for 7 minutes. Blaming his frail frame on being a vegetarian, Wolfee rambles about how he's not in PETA and enthralls the audience about that time he handled turkey on Thanksgiving. After that he talks about having to shave off his eyebrows due to shaving "on the go" without the aide of a mirror and insists he is required to do so because he is Irish and he'd look freakish if he didn't shave them off. Next up, the talks about needing to have teeth pulled and that everyone in their life will have to have it done eventually, seemingly unaware that it isn't natural at all for a man not even 30 years old to have just enough teeth to not require dentures. He blames the rest of his appearance on the natural aging process, and then dedicates the remainder of the video to attempts to mock the appearance of the trolls, somehow under the logic that a group of teenage heterosexuals will be offended at the fact that an emaciated, old basement dwelling furfag doesn't want to have sex with them.
Wolfee Takes Credit for WTC
Throwing his hat into the Burn a Koran Day circle, Wolfee decided to make a bold declaration that nobody before him ever made, and suggested that they just go ahead and rebuild WTC. But not content with mere FurAffinity journals, Wolfee decided to make shit real and mail Boss Nigger with his renegade suggestion. And allegedly got a response that they were going to do just that. And suggests that they got this idea from his email. And wasn't being facetious about it.
That's right. Wolfee took credit for the decision to rebuild the World Trade Center. Pleas of dead Trade Center families, local political leaders, years of petitioning, and national opinion ain't got shit on furry YouTube vloggers, bitch.
Before he was busted for dog-fucking faggotry, Wolfee focused on making Furry related humor, considerably the gayest shit you've seen all day. It is rumored, based off of how Wolfee talks in his videos, he is related to Aeverine Nieves. For the most part they are embarrassing attempts at humor from a swamp dwelling hillbilly.
After the his ED article became more well-known, Wolfee did what an attention whore does best; tried desperately to spin his humiliation into a positive in any way he could. What followed was the bastardization of the "Sylvesterfox is the Lord of the Dance" mini-meme, and expected does of super-faggotry.
Wolfee Bakes a Pretty Cake!
This abortion of comedy,meticulously crafted over weeks in MS Paint, was Wolfee's attempt at convincing younger furries not to parade their furryness in public, another example of never practicing what he preaches.
The crowning jewel of Wolfee's video catalog, the Greatest Freakout Reaction video was Wolfee's contribution to the great reaction video phase. Choosing a video which doesn't invoke a reaction, the greatness in this video comes not from Wolfees humor, but full close-ups of his teeth, greasy, unkempt hair, and a limitless supply of embarrassing physical gestures. With it's awful jokes, full close-ups of his psychical being, inappropriate meme repetition and general creepy ambiance, this single video, deliberatly or otherwise, embodies everything that is Wolfee Darkfang.