Xiao Rishu

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Xiao Rishu = infected with GOTIS
You can help by not giving her any attention.


Xiao Rishu pig nose.jpg

Xaoi Rishu (IRL: Xiao Hoang) is a loli who lies about her age and has a USI complex, and thinks that she's such a big media star that you need to know every last detail, including and not limited to her bowel movements after a sausage pizza. Xiao thinks that EVERYTHING she does is important, even though it's all filmed from her own room. She also has a complete lack of life experience, treating junk mail and scammers who call at her door as legit business - and often preaches to the point where she demands her viewers - into thinking that her way of thinking is the right way, and if you disagree, you are wrong.


PewDiePie should watch out - because this gotis is trying to steal his limelight!


Contents

Background

Xiao lives above a Chinese takeout somewhere in Britfaggia. When not camwhoring or working on her kawaii accent, she hangs around the house in an onesie and barely steps outside. When she does, creepy pedophiles recognize and stalk her. Xiao's mommy obviously hasn't told her about stranger danger!

Bored of sitting in her bedroom all day, flicking off to Justine Bieber and contemplating whether she should cut herself or sip shotgun mouthwash, Xiao noticed her laptop's webcam. Curiosity got the best of her and she did what most under-age loli do with a webcam. No, not that you sick fuck, for this wasn't merely a girl with a webcam, but a girl with an webcam AND an agenda! AND THUS, AN E-STAR WAS BORN!

Occasionally there are a lulzy moments when she stands up for people, not realizing what fucktards they are, which is why her videos are so boring to 99% of the world's population. Only those who are bed-bound would find the witless ravings of some jailbait anywhere close to entertaining.

Sob Story Rishu

BAWWW
Alan Van

Xiao is a self-appointed social justice warrior, anytime something bwaaad is said about her, she cries allllll about it on YouTube. This garnered interest from, appropriately, a self-appointed media outlet which wrote this article plus an interview, which is more of a chat log transcript, as it's unlikely a face-to-face meeting ever occurred - which is obvious because of a typo in the title of the article. The addition of the word 'comedy' is used to make readers think Xiao's shit is funny, when someone can find more laughs at a nail museum. The article also reveal that she, like a typical SJW, hates her own race and loves black cock.


   
 
I did read on your blog that you wouldn’t do a TV interview if asked because you’d be too uncomfortable.
 

 
 

—Some Pedo ironically called Alan Van

This statement is highly amusing because Xiao isn't famous, she's just another internet blogger who hasn't exactly cured cancer, ballooned over Everest or done anything of note. She just posts statements that most people learned in humanities class waaay back in 8th grade, while being fapped to by pedos, as is the case with most teenage girls who've worked out how to upload a video to YouTube.

The interview prattled along, talking about how Xiao quickly defended Venus Angelic when she was being trolled, most likely standing up to the cybwurbwullies by, you guessed it, posting a video!

HERE'S THE FUNNY TWIST: Venus blocked Xiao and had the video pulled after Xiao's pedo friends were being creepy. Then, Venus told her mommy Margaret Palermo.


   
 
And then her mom started calling me a fame-sucker and comparing me to Hitler
 

 
 

—Xiao, talking about Margaret Palermo's accurate description

Xiao was then asked by Margaret Palermo to "stop copying her" which started a batshit insane flame war between the two parties, the tl;dr breakdown includes:

  • Venus and Margaret Palermo taking to Twitter and telling all of Xiao's friends, in Xiao's own words: "...that they should leave me for fame".
  • Venus added Xiao so that direct communication lines could be re-established.
  • Upon re-connection and unblocking, e-writs were issued between the e-celebrities.
  • No court could be arsed handling this boring, whacked out shit.
  • Venus got to endorse some contact lenses, Xiao got pissed that she missed out.
  • The big paddy-wagon to take both parties to the screw convention got the wrong directions and never picked up Xiao, Venus or anybody's mom

The interview then goes on and on about how Xiao had to put up with this and that, any professional interviewer would have simply asked, "So do you regret taking on other people's battles?" but noooooo! Alan the interviewer was obviously too busy fapping. The rest of the interview is just too boring to mention.

So based on this info, when trolling, be sure to mention these gems:

  • "So, you're an e-celebrity?"
  • "Have you been interviewed by the BBC or CNN yet?" (She'll never be on the old media - not just because she isn't famous, but because nobody of her age bracket watches old media)
  • "Don't you think that if you went to school, you might learn about something interesting to talk about in your v-blogs, instead of preaching the ethics of a 5 year old?"

Language Apps

In a vain attempt not to be a stereotypical azn, Xiao decided to provide some oral service to her pedo fans. No, not that kind of oral, you sick fuck. Xiao posts a videos where she demonstrates what 60 cubic pounds of helium sounds like when articulated into other languages. What's funny about this is she uses a crappy iPhone app to do this, whenever she speaks more than a couple words, the translation invariably goes haywire. Of course, there is potential that it could be used by a pervert to:

So far she's avoided Swedish and Thai, meaning that she hasn't been acquired and abused in some Bangkok bordello yet. This is a pity because it would give Xiao's audience a different backdrop for a change. Instead of Xiao's bedroom, Xiao would be inside of... another bedroom!

DAMN PEDOS!

To Xiao's surprise, creepy people occasionally stalk cute girls who plaster their face all over the internet - some of which she actively encourages, with or without knowing it, owing to her lack of wit. Perhaps if she didn't film all of her movies in her bedroom, and she had some talent other than telling people off for living their lives outside of their bedroom - or stopped talking about her periods and other randy confessions with farm animals, (hasn't happened yet, but those onesies just scream furry in progress) then pedos wouldn't confuse her videos as pr0n to begin with.


Case in point:
Typicalxiaoconvo.png


What's really scary is that Xiao sounds like she's a helium dispenser and looks like the creepy girl from the crow movies - so expect only the creepiest of creepy fucks here!

Home Alone

According to her blog, on the 10th of October 2013, she had been left alone with her pedofriend, when some corporate trolls turned up pretending to be from the government, installing insulation. Xiao and her BF witlessly decided that these couldn't be bad people at all...

Xiaohomealone.png

Going to show that Xiao is either too young, or perhaps should leave her home to visit school, instead of continuing to act like a 5 year old, and thus reduce the likelihood of getting conned by fraudsters in the future. But we at ED will be fucked if Xiao ever takes us up on this advice.

With that being said - if you are low on funds and have the munchies:

Just knock on Xiao's front door with any old fake ID! It's open season at the Rishu household!

BAAAAWWWWWW!

Atomic.gif Warning!
ED EXCLUSIVE! IN B4 NMR

In the same week moot quit 4chan, Xiao posted something that would shock the world:


Tastedmedicine.png


But why would somebody with so many faps hits be thinking of rage quitting? While we could deduce from the post that she has actually reached a point where she's freaked herself out talking about everything from this:



Or that she looks like the typical pig millenial Or the fact she tells wide world and perfect strangers alike that she masturbates, it is more plausable that she finally got tired of all the online perverts, including long-time internet brony Orleans Ofori Brown - AKA Shadow Dinosaur, who has been lurking around the internet since before Tim Berners Lee created the first hypertext threading protocol, making him old enough to be Xiao's great great grandfather. Shit this guy is so old he needs a spade handy when he wakes his ass up in the mornin' - must be 48 at least!

While George Washington and other assorted gents were busy signing the constitution, ShadowD was hanging around art sites looking for underage loli by posting sonic recolors, Mario fanart and posting crappy fractals, he obviously decided to forgo hanging out with people not afraid to fuck sickos in dog costumes on furaffinity - pulled his aging stomach in, and pushed the boat out - and browsed over to the forums on gaiaonline and equipped himself with a pedo-camera:

Orleanspedobear.png


Or perhaps Xiao is quitting because we at ED told her to do so:


Xiaoliesandpolitics.png


Actually ED never said she should quit YouTube because it lacks profit - we suggested that she should take her camera to places other than her bedroom - but perhaps it's difficult to present a kiss-and-tell show while being fapped at by bronies and other assorted sick, witless fucks, such as this bute here:

Yeahrightxiao.png

The 'Barry Anderson' account appears to be an ALT account of Xiao's - very likely to be trying to make it appear to her fans that she scripted all of the personal, private and generally disgusting stuff up - but in reality only made up a username.


So take your pick from the above reasons as to why Xiao has quit the net - but whatever reason you choose, bear in mind that she'll be back online again in a few weeks, as soon as she realizes that nobody at her local Job Center will have any idea who she is from looking at her blank CV.

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External links


Typical fan art

Xiao Rishu
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Xiao Rishu is part of a series on YouTube.

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