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Xiao Rishu
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Xiao Rishu = infected with GOTIS You can help by not giving her any attention.
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Xaoi Rishu (IRL: Xiao Hoang) is a loli who lies about her age and has a USI complex. She is a standard addition to every YouTube pedo's favorites section. The only reason this girl is popular is because of sick fucks, normal people don't care about a small child who rambles about things which bares no resemblance to the lives of most people. For example, she has a video about Pikachu sausages, which is filmed within the confines of her own home because she is too young to get a job - however, most of her videos are pretty much her ranting about morality and anti-bullying into a camera some pedo gave to her because he wasn't happy with the shitty quality of Xiao's grey-import webcam.
Contents |
Background
Xiao lives above a Chinese takeout somewhere in Britfaggia. When not camwhoring or working on her kawaii accent, she hangs around the house in an onesie and barely steps outside. If she ever did, creepy pedophiles would recognize and stalk her. Xiao's mommy obviously hasn't told her about stranger danger!
Bored of sitting in her bedroom all day, flicking off to Justine Bieber and contemplating whether she should cut herself or sip shotgun mouthwash, Xiao noticed her laptop's webcam. Curiosity got the best of her and she did what most girls do with a webcam. No, not that you sick fuck, for this wasn't merely a girl with a webcam, but a girl with an webcam AND an agenda! AND THUS, AN E-STAR WAS BORN!
Occasionally there are a lulzy moments when she stands up for people, not realizing what fucktards they are, which is why her videos are so boring to 99% of the world's population. Only those who are bed-bound would find the witless ravings of some jailbait anywhere close to entertaining.
Sob Story Rishu
Xiao is a self-appointed social justice warrior, anytime something bwaaad is said about her, she cries allllll about it on YouTube. This garnered interest from, appropriately, a self-appointed media outlet which wrote this article plus an interview, which is more of a chat log transcript, as it's unlikely a face-to-face meeting ever occurred - which is obvious because of a typo in the title of the article. The addition of the word 'comedy' is used to make readers think Xiao's shit is funny, when someone can find more laughs at a nail museum.
| —Some Pedo ironically called Alan Van | ||
This statement is highly amusing because Xiao isn't famous, she's just another internet blogger who hasn't exactly cured cancer, ballooned over Everest or done anything of note. She just posts statements that most people learned in humanities class waaay back in 8th grade, whilst being fapped to by pedos, as is the case with most teenage girls who've worked out how to upload a video to YouTube.
The interview prattled along, talking about how Xiao quickly defended Venus Angelic when she was being trolled, most likely standing up to the cybwurbwullies by, you guessed it, posting a video!
HERE'S THE FUNNY TWIST: Venus blocked Xiao and had the video pulled after Xiao's pedo friends were being creepy. Then, Venus told her mommy Margaret Palermo.
| —Xiao, talking about Margaret Palermo's accurate description | ||
Xiao was then asked by Margaret Palermo to "stop copying her" which started a batshit insane flame war between the two parties, the tl;dr breakdown includes:
- Venus and Margaret Palermo taking to Twitter and telling all of Xiao's friends, in Xiao's own words: "...that they should leave me for fame".
- Venus added Xiao so that direct communication lines could be re-established.
- Upon re-connection and unblocking, e-writs were issued between the e-celebrities.
- No court could be arsed handling this boring, whacked out shit.
- Venus got to endorse some contact lenses, Xiao got pissed that she missed out.
- The big paddy-wagon to take both parties to the screw convention got the wrong directions and never picked up Xiao, Venus or anybody's mom
The interview then goes on and on about how Xiao had to put up with this and that, any professional interviewer would have simply asked, "So do you regret taking on other people's battles?" but noooooo! Alan the interviewer was obviously too busy fapping. The rest of the interview is just too boring to mention.
So based on this info, when trolling, be sure to mention these gems:
- "So, you're an e-celebrity?"
- "Have you been interviewed by the BBC or CNN yet?" (She'll never be on the old media - not just because she isn't famous, but because nobody of her age bracket watches old media)
- "Don't you think that if you went to school, you might learn about something interesting to talk about in your v-blogs, instead of preaching the ethics of a 5 year old?"
Language Apps
In a vain attempt not to be a stereotypical azn, Xiao decided to provide some oral service to her pedo fans. No, not that kind of oral, you sick fuck. Xiao posts a videos where she demonstrates what 60 cubic pounds of helium sounds like when articulated into other languages. What's funny about this is she uses a crappy iPhone app to do this, whenever she speaks more than a couple words, the translation invariably goes haywire. Of course, there is potential that it could be used by a pervert to:
- Accept marriage
- Accept a request to send moniez to Nigerian Scam artists
- Giving away her own home to a pedo in Utah or Texas
- Describe something sordid - possibly involving pikachu sausages...
- Describing something illicit - because Xiao is too fucktarded/young to know what most stuff any random sick fuck would ask, even in English
So far she's avoided Swedish and Thai, meaning that she hasn't been acquired and abused in some Bangkok bordello yet. This is a pity because it would give Xiao's audience a different backdrop for a change. Instead of Xiao's bedroom, Xiao would be inside of... another bedroom!
DAMN PEDOS!
To Xiao's surprise, creepy people occasionally stalk cute girls who plaster their face all over the internet. Perhaps if she didn't film all of her movies in her bedroom, and she had some talent other than telling people off for living their lives outside of their bedroom - or stopped talking about her periods and other randy confessions with farm animals, (hasn't happened yet, but those onesies just scream furry in progress) then pedos wouldn't confuse her videos as pr0n to begin with.
What's really scary is that Xiao sounds like she's a helium dispenser and looks like the creepy girl from the crow movies - so expect only the creepiest of creepy fucks here!
Home Alone
According to her blog, on the 10th of October 2013, she had been left alone with her pedofriend, when some corporate trolls turned up pretending to be from the government, installing insulation. Xiao and her BF witlessly decided that these couldn't be bad people at all...

Going to show that Xiao is either too young, or perhaps should leave her home to visit school, instead of continuing to act like a 5 year old, and thus reduce the likelihood of getting conned by fraudsters in the future. But we at ED will be fucked if Xiao ever takes us up on this advice.
With that being said - if you are low on funds and have the munchies:
Just knock on Xiao's front door with any old fake ID! It's open season at the Rishu household!
YouTube
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Gallery
External links
- Her website
xiaorishu Watch loli here!
xiaoriji Or here...
xiao ...surely one youtube account is all you'll ever need in a single lifetime...?
xiaori Get watched very closely by Chris Hanson here!
xiaorishu Get v& by Chris personally, after chatting to Xiao!
xiaorishu Oh look, Xiao can post the same photos everybody else can post, wearing the same clothes as everybody else!
newrockstars
AlanMichaelVan
- The XiaoRishu Interview: Comedy, Racism, and Cyberbullying
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Xiao Rishu is part of a series on Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage. |
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Xiao Rishu is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
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Xiao Rishu is related to a series on AZNS. |
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