Xydexx Squeakypony

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Cat eyes.JPG
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
Pussies Fighting.gif Xydexx Squeakypony is in an internet sissy fight with Equivamp.
Please dig up lulz on them both.
Info non-talk.png According to Karl's own LinkedIn (deleted, lol butthurt) profile, he hasn't had a job since 2007 and instead sucks the teat of Uncle Kage's welfare agency.
It's... some sort of brony pedo fusion.
Who could have ruined Lulzmas for everyone???
And why???
We have our suspicions!!!!
Xydexx claims ZOMG Misinformation!
this is what this man worships.

Karl "Xydexx" Jorgensen is a moribund, third-rate, washed-up, middle-aged, hypocritical furry. He doesn't have issues - he has the entire fucking print run. Everyone in the fandom secretly dislikes him--especially the faggots on WikiFur--but they keep their mouths firmly shut so as not to attract his attentions, because he wields immense and terrifying power in the furry world as Propaganda Minister Publications Director and spokesman for #1 furry convention Anthrocon, a position he secured by diligent asskissing and cocksucking.

Karl went to artfag school at least 100 years ago and worked for a while as a glorified secretary, going from job to job and getting fired when it became obvious that even a retard could operate Microsoft Office. Some time in 2007 he lost his mind and his job, and now spends his entire life on the Internet. He claims he goes outside, but this claim is dubious because as you'll see in this article, there is literally no one on the Internet who holds an obsessive grudge longer than Xydexx. Most people forget about flamewars days after they're over. You will see that a decade is a mere snap of the fingers to Xydexx and his psychotic obsessiveness.

Lacking anything meaningful in his life, he spends his days editing this article, obsessively searching for any and all mentions of himself anywhere, and generally being unfunny. He's slowly losing his mind to late-onset schizophrenia and thinks that this article was written by Triggur (see below). He reacts to this knowledge by copying this article into a new article about Triggur, just changing the names. In Xydexx's world, this is the height of hilarity.

Currently, Xydexx's only connection to the outside world is the Anthrocon conbook. Uncle Kage pays him big welfare dollars to whip up a jizzrag in MS Publisher for the furfags attending his convention. Of course, there being better porn on the Internet, most furfags send Xydexx's precious conbook right into the trash along with their used condoms. Xydexx hangs desperately onto the conbook (and has for some time), because it's the only thing left that gives him the illusion of being useful to the outside world.

Career

Never forgive, never forget

In the early years, Xydexx spent most of his time on alt.fan.furry, making valuable contributions to the debate there, when the furry fandom was more innocent and esoteric. It was in his time on Usenet that the famous Xydexx modus operandi was developed, and the slogan by which he lives, "Don't take the Internet too seriously" would first be offered to those who might otherwise take a man who puts his penis in pooltoys seriously.

Xydexx first came to the attention of the Internets at large when his Inflatable Animal Fetish Page was featured on Portal of Evil years ago and he flipped the fuck out to hilarious effect in this PoE thread (and dozens of others). He is still obsessed, almost a decade after that thread, with PoE and its editor Kthor, whose firm, well-packed butt he admires from afar and who he fervently believes hopes is a secret diaper freak.

Xydexx vs. Goons

Back in January 2005, Xydexx hilariously suggested that those horrid Something Awful Goons be physically chastised to teach them not to mess with the furries in a sequence of inane LiveJournal commentsposted which he promptly deleted when the drugs wore off. Two years after the original lunacy, when everyone had forgotten about it, Xydexx resurrected that ancient thread to inform everyone he had created an absurd "rebuttal" of Squnq's "interpretation" of his deleted posts (or something) and basically suggested that Squnq made all that crazy shit up etcetera etcetera.

Since then, his butthurt has transformed into full-blown paranoia bordering on schizophrenia, in which anyone and everyone appears to be Triggur, another middle-aged furfag who is the subject of one of Xydexx's many psychotic obsessions. Currently, Xydexx is using his gaggle of sockpuppets to make weird and pathetic edits to related ED articles, fooling no one with his use of the standard Xydexx catchphrase, "taking the Internet too seriously." One would be tempted to say that this was when the helium finally took over Xydexx's brain and he finally lost his mind, but Xydexx has been fucking balloons for so long that it's hard to decide when, exactly, he crossed the line from being a comically long-term lolcow to just being another Internet psycho.

Goodbye, cruel Interweb

Xydexx closed down his Livejournal in March 2007 and set up under a new name in order to (or so he claimed) escape the "cyberstalking" and "harassment" he had been subjected to online. Immense lulz were caused when he revealed in a friends-only LJ comment that it had supposedly been furries-in-denial CrushYiffDestroy who had been "cyberstalking" and "harassing" him all this time, and (OMG) confronting him at conventions and making plans to show up on his doorstep. However, Xydexx showed those intolerant antifurs what was what by posting their leader's RL name and address and revealing his pedoriffic tendencies in a call for vigilante furry action, neatly illustrating his saying that "Asshats can dish it out, but can't take it.". CYD recently vanished off the web, but naturally this occurrence is purely conincidental - or is it!?

Internet Obsessions of the New Decade

Xydexx nevar forgets
Oh, look at Equivamp's visitors on her LiveJournal...!
  • In early 2010 X turned his bile on fellow furry GreenReaper, irate that his furry news site wasn't toeing the official Xydexx line, making bizarre blog posts and trolling comment threads on Flayrah. Following standard Squeakypony operating procedure, he quickly deleted the blog posts after attracting everyone's attention so that he could deny everything and go into a snit about people obsessing over him. To this day he's still being a colossal dick on WikiFur!
  • X also has a strange obsession with Kindrift, leading light of Vivisector as witnessed by this blog post, this torrent of WTF, and this bizarre page (which will probably be deleted in short order). This being the topsy-turvy, through-the-looking-glass world of Xydexx, his blog post about Kindrift carries the title "Kindrift's Obsession With Xydexx".
  • X's latest crusade is against a 15-year-old girl. No, I kid you not. He's all up in arms against young furry and occasional ED editor Equivamp for daring to make a couple edits to this page. In fact, he's so God damned irate he's made a blog post (UPDATE! Edited with NEW AND IMPROVED LULZ!) (Six now, and he's talked about her on his Twitter feed, as well as elsewhere on a now-deleted webpage)LOL BALEETED where he babbles about her being a Burned Fur, how she has mental issues, and even theorizes that she probably isn't even a teenager or female. He also reads her LiveJournal, but as she warned him not to confront her there, he uses his own blog to respond to her. A white knight for Equivamp appeared, and the psychotic unicorn tracked their location, causing the police to be called on him. He has also made a post--despite both apparently disappearing--that seems to insinuate threats to the adolescent.

What Xydexx Does Outside

At least 100 years ago, Xydexx allegedly stole an 18 foot inflatable reindeer from a local mall in Northern Virginia, where he lives. He then posted a video of the thing blown up in his bedroom. It was baleeted shortly thereafter.

Modus Operandi

Xydexx likes to talk a great deal about what an elite online mass debater he is, and how goons and trolls run screaming from the blinding lights of justice and clarity that are his posts. A brief analysis of his opus reveals the following pattern:

  1. Accuse opponent(s) of being unfunny.
    • Support this point by making dozens of largely interchangeable comments.
  2. Accuse opponent of spending too much time on the Internet.
    • Support this point by making dozens of largely interchangeable comments.
  3. Accuse opponent of taking the Internet too seriously
    • Support this point by making dozens of largely interchangeable comments.
  4. Delete everything.
  5. Deny everything.
  6. Claim victory.

Quotes

   
 
Hey, man, you don't talk to Xydexx. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll... uh... well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say, "What's your fursona?"... I mean I'm no, I can't... I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's... he's a great man. I should have been a sexy hermit crab scuttling across floors of silent seas...
 

 
 

Kindrift

   
 
Besides, everyone knows drama isn't awesome — it's stupid, tiresome, and the primary reason Encyclopedia Dramatica is and forever shall be the web's lamest wiki.
 

 
 

   
 
This has already been debunked elsewhere, but for the record anyone who seriously thinks I support violence against Something Awful needs to have their head examined.
 

 
 

   
 
What should have happened, IMHO, was that the furries should have surrounded the car and pelted it with rocks, or even dragged them out of the car and beaten the holy fuck out of them. It's one thing to tell goons "stop fucking with us," but, as the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. So if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes, y'know?
 

 
 

   
 
Furries should stop reacting with fear and panic, and start reacting with blanket parties for goons to show up at furry cons. -:)
 

 
 

   
 
Maybe a few goons need to get sent back to the forums with their noses bloodied to drive the point home.
 

 
 

   
 
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess she actually isn't a teenager. She probably isn't female. She probably doesn't live in Kansas. In fact, I'm guessing pretty much her entire online identity is fictitious and everything "she" says is total BS.
 

 
 

—Xydexx, on not wanting to admit he's harassing a fifteen year old girl on the internet, though rightfully calling out "her" true gender.

   
 
Lulz are not laughs. Lulz are what's left over after all the humor has been sucked out of a joke.
 

 
 

   
 
And that's okay. It's always interesting how people who say not to take them seriously end up having zero credibility. Watch what you wish for and all that.
 

 
 

—Xydexx on irony

   
 
It's kinda sad that someone would be that desperate for attention.
 

 
 

—Moar irony

   
 
So now I guess the only question left is what did I do to you to make you so butthurt? Or are you just that desperate for attention from anyone who randomly shows up?
 

 
 

—Boy this guy just self-projects on everyone, doesn't he?

   
 
I must admit I'm kinda curious whose picture you're using. Is she your daughter or something?
 

 
 

Virgins have children, lmao

   
 
I don't get mad when people disagree with me.
 

 
 

Lies

   
 
Working

with each other instead of fighting each other.
 


 
 

   
 
The only way

improvements are going to be made to furry fandom is when people learn to respect each others differences instead of attacking them.
 


 
 

—Hypocritical Unicorn is hypocritical

External links

Fur series.jpg

Xydexx Squeakypony is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Xydexx Squeakypony is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAnna Nicole SmithBrian AdamsBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester Flanagan

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAngry GrandpaAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakonDustinEmer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonathan YanivJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Kat DenningsKendall JennerKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatthew DavisMaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRedheadXilamGuyRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAIDSAnimuArt SchoolAsperger's SyndromeAssigned Maleask.fmBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedComputer Science IIICosplayDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeviantARTDrugsEdginessFanFictionFeminismFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGravity FallsGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffInfantilismInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLegoLeague of LegendsLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/RobloxRuneScapeSecond LifeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSpeakoniaTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube