Yandere

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Nuvola
Moar info: Insane.
   
 
Noun - yandere : (chiefly Japanese fiction) A fictional character who fits the archetype of being genuinely romantic, loving, kind, merciful, sparing, sweet and gentle, but is at the same time brutal, psychotic or deranged in behavior. The psychotic tendency can be both sudden and ever-present. Often used for both comedic and dramatic displays of character.
 

 
 

Amazingly accurate definition of the term from the Wikipedophile dictionary

Yandere is both an animu term for women who love their men so much they'll disembowel their rivals with a meat hook just to keep their man (and will decapitate him and keep his head on their mantle to keep him all to themselves and away from those other slutty bitches if he cheats), and the name of a hentai game of the same name that was fan translated to English for the guro fans to fap to, and features some of the most lulzy depictions of feminine batshit crazy to ever be put in a porn game.

Like the term described above, a yandere woman (men can be this to, but bitches are more prone to this in animu land unless its a faggot anime, then it's just as likely for the guys to be these) is a combination of many thing that can best summed up with the following formula:


   
 
Insane + Bitch + Guro + Sick Fuck + Murder
 

 
 

—The various things necessary to create a yandere


As you can see, given the above formula, a yandere character is almost certain to provide tons of lulz, and the rest of this article will describe a game full of these psychotic bitches and their lulzy antics.

But, before we get to that, if you want a visual image of what the fuck this article is talking about, click the below link:

[-+]Visual depiction of a typical yandere

She loved her man so much, she had to cut off his head and sail away with it so she could keep at least one part of him away from any lousy bitch trying to steal him away from her. Also, I just spoiled the ending of the School Days anime. U mad?

Yandere: The Game

Yandere.jpg

This game already gives you a hint how fucked up it is on the title screen, as you can tell by the subtitle, but when you first start playing it, the backstory is really tame sounding.

You play as a guy called Subaru, who is a typical horny teenage guy whose parents left for a week long vacation, giving him a week without any supervision. During this time, aside from school (which he sleeps through anyway), all he wants to do is fuck bitches, since jerking off for a week is really goddamned boring.

His childhood friend Saki shows up, quickly establishing herself as the overly clingly childhood crush cliche animu character, and it doesn't take him a lot of effort to get her to let him fuck her cross-eyed.

From this point onward, after having experienced the joys of blowing his load in a girl's cunt, Subaru looks forward to a week of carving a few more notches onto his belt.

However, what really happens is a week of lulz, courtesy of three batshit insane women.

Characters

Subaru Oda

Subaru.jpg

The fucking moron you play as. Thinks with his dick most of the time, spends most of the game being too fucking dense to realize every woman after his penis is a fucking psychopath.

[-+]His hobbies include

Fucking bitches, being fucked by bitches, being raped by bitches, killing batshit crazy women, and getting killed by the same

Saki Miyauchi

Saki.jpg

Typical clingy as fuck childhood friend with a crush on the main character cliche. Spends most of the game annoying the fuck out of Subaru with her clingyness, gives him surprise blowjobs, and is the first girl to start going apeshit after being fucked.

[-+]Her hobbies include

Being fucked against walls, giving surprise blowjobs, being fucking annoying, being fucking creepy, killing people with chainsaws, drugging and raping her man, humping a dead man's entrails

Maika Saitou

Maika.jpg

Some big boobed emo girl who Subaru white knighted for a few times, so she has a massive crush on him, turns out to be a closet masochist who enjoys getting the shit beaten out of her.

[-+]Her hobbies include

Yuumi Kikushita

Yumi.jpg

Mary Kay Letourneau, as interpreted by a goddamned lunatic. A virgin with a taste for Subaru's cock, she spend most of the game fucking Subaru on the shitter and being a fucked up stalker demanding she be boned at all hours of the day.

[-+]Her hobbies include

Hitting on a male student, using her job as an excuse to cougar up said male student, fucking that male student while he's on the shitter, being a psycho stalker bitch who visits a guy's house in the dead of night and beating on his door like a crazy fuck begging for a brutal dicking, hating younger bitches for getting near her man, forcing a guy to fuck her for hours, not taking rejection well and brutally stabbing her male student to death, cannibalism and vampire fetishism

The various game routes

Below is a brief summary of all the game routes, for those too lazy to get the actual game or those who got it and are too retarded to figure out how to get the endings.

For all routes, you'll know you're doing it right on a particular route if the game switches to girl of your choice's POV at any point. Also, no matter what route you are on, you will bang each girl at least once, and any future fuckings will lock you into a certain route if you go for the same girl more than twice since the first time.

Yuumi's Route

This route has you picking every option that will put you within fucking distance of Yuumi. It's really easy to get by just taking every opportunity to fuck her, even after she's pulled the crazy stalker routine at least once. Also, keep picking every option to go to the bathroom (Yuumi likes fucking while you're on the can).

If you did this correctly and didn't refuse her once, the final day of the game will give you two options, which lead to two different endings:

  • Ending A (Push her away)

If you do this ending, you still fuck each other, but Yumi takes a massive bite out of your shoulder and sucks your blood like a fucking vampire. You somehow fuck her unconscious, and Subaru realizes the bitch is completely fucking crazy and stabs her to death with a kitchen knife before she recovers. He then realizes he killed someone and has an epic case of trolls remorse.

  • Ending B (Don't push her away)

Same as Ending A, except Subaru is too fucking stupid to kill her before she wakes up, so she overhears him calling her a crazy bitch he doesn't want to fuck anymore, goes batshit, then stabs him to death.

Then she decides to cook and eat his entrails while licking blood off one of his eyeballs.

Mary Kay Letourneau as Hannibal Lecter pictures

Mary Kay Letourneau as Hannibal Lecter pictures About missing Pics
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Saki's Route

This is piss easy, just fuck her every chance you get. Also, avoid fucking either Yuumi or being alone with Maika. If you're doing it right, you'll see a few scenes from her POV, all of them showing her batshit insane stalker side.

This is basically the most failtastic ending for Saki's route. Subaru is forced to eat her dinner, then fuck her, then he tries to flee. The door is duct taped, but he manages to rip it off. He too slow to stop Saki from knocking his ass out, and when he wakes up, he's bound to a chair, his hands literally nailed together behind is back, and in-between slurps of his dick, she cheerfully informs Subaru he's gonna be her bitch forever.

tl;dr - You lost The Game.

  • Ending B (Prepare, just in case) [Retard Version]

Subaru is smart enough to grab a fucking weapon (a box cutter), but he tries to take someone armed with a fucking chainsaw and pussies out at the last second. She knocks him the fuck out, and rest of the shit from Ending A occurs.

  • Ending C (Prepare, just in case) [Non Retard Version]

Same as Ending B, except Subaru is smart enough to use the box cutter to slice away the duct tape on the front door instead of trying to take on the chainsaw maniac, and he makes it out the door and across the street. Saki follows, but she's too stupid to look both ways and gets hit by a fucking truck (or rather she pushed him out of the way of the fucking truck). The game ends as she bleeding all over the pavement dying, with her orgasming one last time because Subaru is looking at her mutilated body in horror as she dies, happy he's only looking at her.

Technically, this is the "best ending"

Chainsaw Rapist pictures

Chainsaw Rapist pictures About missing Pics
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Maika's Route

Like the other routes, this is easy to get as long as you take every chance to be near Maika and ignore the other two girls. Her route has her reveal she's a masochist who enjoys pain, and she keeps asking Subaru to do more and more extreme BDSM shit to her, which he's mostly cool with, until she starts asking him to literally beat the shit out of her, which gives you two options:

If you pick this option, you will literally beat the ever living shit out of her, and she'll orgasm every time you do shit right out of the abusive husband manual until Subaru is exhausted. During the night, while Subaru sleeps off his exhaustion, she'll be fucking herself up further. When he finally wakes up, he finds out she literally sewed her vagina shut and stuck a safety pin through her clitoris, and she wants him to fuck her ass while her blood and pussy juice fly everywhere.

He actually winds up doing that, then gets the bright idea to strangle her a little bit, since she gets off on pain so much, but fucks up royally and strangles her to death.

The game ends as Subaru realizes he's a sick motherfucker who strangled a girl a to death while crotch blood and pussy juice were flying everywhere, and when the cops show up, they'll find his dick in her dead ass as he's crying like a bitch.

  • Ending B (That's a little too much after all)

Same as Ending A, except Subaru doesn't beat the shit out of her, they pass out. During the night, she still sows her vagina shut, the next morning, he still fucks her ass.

However, since she still isn't satisfied, she slashes open her own belly while being assfucked so she can get off on her entrails hanging out.

Subaru freaks the fuck out, pulls out, and tries to run, but she jumps him, stabs him multiples times so he's bleeding all over the place, then resumes fucking Subaru as he's dying and she's fondling her own bloody intestines. After he dies she's still humping his now softening dick dying herself from blood loss, and has one last orgasm while being disappointed Subaru didn't murder her himself.

It's alway the quiet ones who are the most offensive

It's always the quiet ones who are the most offensive About missing Pics
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The fucking dumbass ending

This ending depends on the player being a total fucking dumbass: Basically, avoid having sex with Yuumi or Maika every chance you can and keep stiffing Saki every time she wants to have sex with you, essentially pissing all of them off.

In this ending, Saki chainsaws down Subaru's door on the final day of the game out of frustration, then chainsaws him to death in his sleep, reduces him to a slimy pile of blood and entrails, then starts humping his gory remains while moaning his name in orgasm.

There are two other variations to this ending, both of which aren't as lulzy (and don't show any lulzy murder scenes). One has Saki push Subaru in front of truck rather early on, and you get this ending by going out of your way to cockblock and piss Saki off and nailing the other two right off the bat. The other version is a modified version of the fucking dumbass ending, which you get by nailing Saki at least once after the required first time but otherwise avoiding the other two crazy bitches.

Subaru gets a brain in this version and avoids being chainsawed to death, and even later gets a girlfriend who isn't a fucking psycho. Of course, Saki figures this out, and decides to use that chainsaw to kill that meddling bitch.

Scenes of Epic Fail

Scenes of Epic Fail About missing Pics
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See also

External Links

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