Yu-Gi-Oh!

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The easy way to win at a card game.

Yu-Gi-Oh! is an Anime about card games that stars a little boy named Yugi Mutou who owns an Egyptian necklace that he uses to transform into an Egyptian leather pants-whipping pharaoh named Yami to cheat on said card games. Episode upon episode is spent discussing how the power of friendship can destroy more than Al-Qaeda and acquisition of golden Egyptian crap, all while having HOT CARD PLAYIN' ACTION! REAL PAPER CUTS! JAPANESE SCHOOL GIRLS WITH SHORT SKIRTS! TINY MOUTHS! BUY SOME FUCKIN' CARDS! THEY'RE NOT JUST INK ON PAPER! THEY'RE REAL MONSTERS, MOTHERFUCKER!

Contents

Plot

Totally not gay
Yugi's grandpa sure likes his loli
Bakura raeps a fangirl.

Season 0: Little is known about the real 1st season of Yu-Gi-Oh because the poofters in the English speaking world considered it too violent. It showed how Yugi solved the Millennium Puzzle, became possessed by Yami, forced a guy to shoot and kill himself, chopped off a watch collector's hand, set a guy on fire, and tricked a serial bomber into blowing himself up. The manga was so violent that even Japan had to tone it down, which says a lot considering what usually flies there.

Season 1: Yugi Mutou a high school student that still hasn't hit puberty living with his Pedo Grandpa who runs a game shop. Yugi has a girlfriend and two boyfriends, who hang around him simply because he's good in the sack. They are known as Tea Gardner, Joey Wheeler, and Tristan Taylor. All of them love Yugi's heart of the cards and his throbbing man-meat. Shit hits the fan when Yugi's grandpa is caught looking at child porn by Pegasus and his soul gets trapped in a card. Yugi fights Pegasus for his Grandpa's freedom. Kaiba also joins in to save his brother from the child labor exploiting clutches of Maximillion Pegasus, who is about to send him to the Shadow Realm.

Hawt

Season 2: Wanting to prove finally how big his cock is, Seto Kaiba challenges the whole fucking world and Yugi to attend his card game tournament.

Season 3: Some green-haired dead kid traps them in a digital world or something. They obviously escape as without those fags their woudn't be more yugioh. rest of the season is taken back to Kaiba's shitty tournament

Season 4: Only season worth watching as it's the only season 4Jews didn't completely fuck up. season is about a couple fags (one of them being mai big boobs who joins their brony club cause boo hoo she sucks at dueling) dueling other people to kill/steal people's souls. of course everyone can just easily ignore those people as they don't physically force any harm on them but no the protagonists just have to duel them cause OH NOEZ THEY STOLE THE GOD CARDS!!!!!!1111111111

Season 5: Kaiba hosts another gay tournament. this time Yami dosen't participate for the winner gets to have a three way with him. tournament gets completely dominated by a pink haired brony who eventually gets his ass kicked by Kaiba. the rest of the season is just shit that no-one cares about.

Characters

Yugi Mutou/Yami: Since Yugi couldn't afford Pokemon cards, he resorted to Duel Monsters instead, all while wearing a chain than for some reason holds the soul of an Egyptian Pharaoh. On a side note, does Yami has the same spiky hair for pubes?

Téa Gardner: The useless pair of tits needed in every anime.

Joey Wheeler: Yugi's boyfriend and the bitch of the relationship. Italian faggot who rapes the English language whenever he opens his greasy mouth, wears a fursuit twice in the series, and needs the prize money of the first season's tournament to cure his sister's blindness.

Tristan Taylor: Yugi's retarded friend. Winds up falling for Joey's sister because his standards are just that low.

Ryo Bakura: Another faggot who's possessed by a who-gives-a-shit who wants to get all of the Millenium thingamajigers for who knows what. His hair resembles a mop. His use to the series is entirely unknown. It is suspected that he's only there to play the role of the obligatory creepy, slightly camp kid.

Seto Kaiba: Despite being the richest motherfucker in the universe, his main goal in life is to beat Yugi at a card game to compensate for his tiny penis. Wears one of the stupidest trench coats in existence (its only known use is flicking bitches in the eye with the bottom hem when he turns around to sulk after losing to his tiny, leather clad arch nemesis for the umpteenth time). He is convinced that inventing technology to play holographic card games actually benefits society.

Mokuba Kaiba: Kaiba's younger brother that needs some fucking lozenges pronto. Besides existing, he does a whole load of fucking nothing and gets kidnapped four times in the course of the series.

Solomon Mutou: Yugi's grandfather. In season one, Pegasus trapped his soul in a card leaving his body a vegetable, which was ironically the point of the series where he was the most useful.

Maximillion Pegasus: The creator of the card game, possesses the Millennium Eye that can see beneath your clothes, and tries to take over the Kaiba Corp. so that he can use its technology to resurrect his dead wife.

Mai Valentine: Anime version of Paris Hilton, but with bigger boobs.

Marik Ishtar: Whiny bitch that had to guard a tomb for some reason. Another faggot who's possessed. Has a Millennium Rod that he shoves in places that you wouldn't believe. If Bakura resembles a mop, that would make this one a feather duster.

Spinoffs

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX

The original Yu-Gi-Oh! series recently concluded when everybody remembered that the card game was just a fucking fad and laughed at seeing formerly expensive packs of cards at Family Dollar. "Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: Reform School Boys" launched on Cartoon Network, all about people who somehow make a fucking living playing cards, enough of one to have a school about it. Wonders never cease. Now your original Yu-Gi-Oh cards are worthless decks as tournaments don't use them anymore.

In this series, gay 13 year old boys and some token girls that are only there for the tits and ass factor attend a school that teaches them how to play this easy card game. Various things try to destroy or control the school, like Dicks and the students must protect it, because if there was no school then there would be no plot for the next episode. And everybody knows kids love School.

GX in a nutshell

  • Action: Bigger boobs on teenage girls than on your mom. Just like the first series, every season ends with the fate of the world depending on a fucking card game, meaning it's serious business.
  • Lulz: "And this one time at Duelist Camp" is the only lulz worthy line in the first and second season of this show.
  • Merchandising: More ink on cards...I mean monsters, motherfucker! And brace yourself for Elemental Hero Condom-man.
  • Morals: More Cards, More Power.

Plot

Season 1: Season goes on with some faggot who goes by the name of Jaden Yuki who applies to enter Duel Academy. aka a school where each student wastes 3 years of their life to learn how to play cards games when they can google how to play the fucking game in 5 minutes. Ironic how anyone takes the school seriously when the 1st episode Jaden defeats one of the headmasters in a duel no problem. season goes off with the students being stupid that is until 8 basement dwellers attack the school and go after the 7 spirit keys holders (aka the students) in hoping to defeat them to unlock the sacred beasts. what do the sacred beasts do? destroy the world? No, just gets rid of card games for good. but everyone knows that you can't live without card games so they duel the shadow riders despite the fact they could easily ignore them and save the world that way.

Season 2: As usual the season involves with someone wanting to rule the world or something similar to that. in this case some crackhead (Sartorious) goes around dueling students and assfucking them which somehow gives him the ability to brainwashing them to join his orgy club. he brainwashed most of the Obelisk dorm and turned the blue dorm into the white dorm hoping to scare the shit out of the 15 year old residents, despite that nobody feared his psycho ass that was until some boring fuck with no friends gives him the keys to a satellite which could destroy the world (brainwash the world in the dub, nice work 4kids) only because he won a duel.

Season 3: Story involves some ugly creature who has a crush on Jaden doing everything in her power to get revenge on him for knocking her up and sending her sorry ass to space cause he didn't want to pay child support. eventually after realizing that yubel was gonna kill everyone. jaden LITERALLY fuses his soul with hers. he sucks it up though. (This was the final season in the dub as 4jews were like "fuck GX let's move on to 5d's even though we won't finish dubbing that spinoff ethier so we can move onto the next spinoff" the final dubbed episode made it looked like that Jaden got killed in the process of fusing with Yubel and saving the world once again. only for him to magically reappear in the next movie! way to go 4kids)

Season 4: Season that only has 23 fucking episode. season pretty much revolves around Jaden bitching around thinking that everything that has happened in the series was all his fault (even though the one in season 3 was his fault and he almost got everyone killed that way) it was probably a good thing that this season never got dubbed despite all the yugioh fags crying and bitching back in 2008 on how season 4 wasn't gonna get dubbed as this season was complete shit and the main villain ends up being the true form of one of the shadow riders way fucking back in season 1. real original villain Konami! series ends with Jaden graduating from duel academy and not once did his ugly ass get laid with him dueling the king of fags aka the Yami Yugi, no-one knows who won as Konami being the faggots they are decided not to finish the duel

Characters

Jaden Yuki: Despite being the best duelist in the school,defeating one of the headmasters in the 1st episode and saving the world 3 times. he ends up in the Slifer Red dorm with all the shitty duelists. in the end he takes card games WAYYYY too seriously like all the other fags do

Syrus Truesdale: Pussy ass midget that no-one likes or gives a rats ass about. eventually in the 4th season he steals his brothers deck

Chazz Princeton: Emo fag who thought he was badass cause he wore blue. that was until he dropped out after losing to 2 duelists wearing red and yellow. eventually returns to duel academy wearing black for the reminder of the series with a yellow boyfriend eventually gaining a green and purple boyfriend aswell. bait of all traps as he was brainwashed for the majority of season 2 and somehow turned into a zombie in one fraction of season 3.

Alexis Rhodes: Made only to provide tits. despite the fact every virgin faps to her she's your definition of a blonde as she likes dueling more then sucking cock. though later on in the series she tries to sleep with Jaden in every episode but with no success as Jaden is apprently gay.

Bastion Misawa: British cock sucker who thinks he's a genius. in every episode in season 1 but drops out of duel academy in season 2 to become a male prostitute and stays in some dimension world in season 3 that probably has no food to be with some big titted hoe bag who used to be a shadow rider and is actually a tiger.

Zane Truesdale: Everyone sucked his 12 inch cock. especially Alexis and the professors. left the academy in season 1 to enter the pro leagues only to get his ass kicked by everyone.

Aster Phoenix: Gray haired retard who cries and whines about his dad dieing (eventually turned out he was absorbed into a duel monsters card) pretty much no episode in season 2 that dosen't include his sorry ass.

Dr.Crowler: No-one knew what Konami had up their ass when they made this guy a character. literally a gay man with purple makeup on. despite being the headmaster of the biggest of the 3 dorms he not only losses to a slifer student but has in fact LOST more duels then he has won having only won 2 duels! in the first half of the 1st season he tries to get Jaden expelled due to losing to him, going as far as to hire a boggy man/pedophile to "Scare Jaden away from duel academy" eventually he realizes that he only makes himself look stupid trying to get him expelled so he stops being useful after that.

Jesse Anderson: Take Jaden but with a southern accent and instead of elemental fags he uses crystals.

Dorms

Obelisk Blue/Blue Dorm: Highest ranking dorm of the three aka home to alot of nerds. Dorm where all the self proclaimed dueling experts are sent to. people think joining this dorm is to die for but not if your headmaster is gay and all the boys and girls are split into 2 dorms with neither side allowed to trespass into the other dorm or they'll get an anal fucking by Dr.Crowler.

Ra Yellow/Yellow Dorm: Nothing special about this dorm as it's only home to a few people. headmaster of this dorm gets no respect so no-one gives a shit about him.

Slifer Red/Red Dorm: Lowest ranking dorm of the three cause somehow learning how to play yugioh is serious and tough shit! A dorm that's home to more rats then people. Home to the protagonist as punishment for cuming in Dr.Crowler's ass in the 1st episode. They care more about parties,sex and drugs like normal people do then card games so they're cooler then the other dorms.

Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds

Well fuck you if you thought the series couldn't get any gayer. 5Ds is the same crap as before, except instead of a backdrop featuring either Ancient Egypt or a Hogwarts style boarding school, they play the same bloody card game, on Motorcycles.

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