Zananeichan

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
See any similarities?

Zananeichan is a plucky girl hailing from some bumblefuck backwater in South Africa who truly and deeply believes she's an elf. Her favorite way of proving this is to photograph herself in her "True Elvin Form™", which basically consists of striping down, painting her ass green and posting it on the internet.

The offer of so much crazy (and tits!) would be somewhat appealing were she not a freakish UFO cultist otherkin with a stare of a thousand awkward silences. That and if you look closely at her odd bumpy forehead with the extremely high hairline you'll discover she's actually a Klingon and not an elf.

Zana is a commie. (Trufax, she's part of a communist organisation in a shitty town in north east England)

Zana Crawls Out of The Woodwork

At least make an attempt to hide it.
Zana expresses her grief over a one week banhammer with Lotus Breast fairies and plastic dead-eyed Jew elves.
Zana's journal, stating that anyone trying to censor her Transsexual ass is personally attacking her.

This lolcow nimble elf was first discovered on devianTART, throwing a massive shitfit about her godawful 3D renders of gay elf orgies getting baleeted. Naturally this was totally unfair, the admins were prudes and anyone who reported her porn was A RACIST CONSPIRING TO KEEP THE ELF WOMEN DOWN, yo.

Actually, the only argument she could come up with for preserving the oily finger banging located here, was that she has special elven rights because she's been in TARTland since 2002. Yeah? Well, Halle Berry's had an Oscar for Breast Best Actress since 2002, and that doesn't mean we shouldn't take it back and melt it down to make ash trays.


   
 
As if people have forgotten the diversity of people, and there way of life, me i am a nudist, because it makes me feel free and content with myself, secondly I am a sensual being, I love to love and be loved, and sensual activity with someone when they asked for it, is a gift which i give of love from the center of my heart, its part of my culture, and existence in life. I feel it has been infringed ... I sadly got suspended for a week which made me depressed and I almost gave up art entirely and had thoughts of giving up my life to. As i believe I don't belong in this world. My art is the only thing that makes me strive and live for life.
 

 
 

——Zananeichan, And she's so eloquent too!

Needless to say residents of TARTland's Complaints Forum were largely unmoved by her plight. Of her harrowing experience Zana said "It was like walking into a pool of scorpions."

Complaints Forum Thread Highlights About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Zana's Mysterious Vagoo

Zana and her friend Marlene, totally not guys.
Zana makes a puzzling admission of transgenderism in her Complaint post which only serves to make things even moar unclear.

Zana has made several references in the past to the fact that she's just a sweet transsexual from transsexual South Africa. These references include complaining about living in her dungeon of a home with apparently dragon-like parents (we see what you did there, Zana) who are trying to force her to live as a man and the fact she's struggling to afford hormone treatments so she can become a real girl at last.

More recently Zana uploaded some new, even shittier nudes to devianTART for some poor bastard's nude art competition. She was in the same swamp behind her house as always but this time was smeared in horrible white paint instead of slightly less horrible green paint. Oh, and she also seems to have grown a vagoo. These nudes tell us many things, the first of which being either Zana or her MtF surgeon have only a vague idea of what vaginas look like and either her lengthy vulva can mysteriously vanish and reappear at will or she has learned how to photoshop. And given Zana always poses with her legs in the same balls-bracing position she could still be tucking it:

Model: Myself, Location: In my forest, Decor: "all purpose paint", Phtographer: Myself, or was it the faeries again?

But more interesting is the revelations from Zana herself as she melodiously describes her art:


   
 
It took quite some to get the oportunity to get these done, due to the fact I dont have much freedom where i live with the parents, they always ask when something extraordinary happens and when you want to do wonderfull things such as body painting, it can be quite difficult. ... The problem with the paint is that it wasnt body paint, this was "all purpose" paint, and logically if its all purpose paint i could apply to my body.
 

 
 


   
 
So applied the paint on at home, put a rain coat over once it dried, because the neaighbours onlook the garden before i could enter the forest, and strip it off, The reason being is i did not want them to see me with all the paintb on, as it would make them curious and think i am doing some strange voodoo.
 

 
 

——Apparently even an otherkin trannie who posts hundreds of nudes on the internet every day has some shame


   
 
The annoying thing was the ogs, they could hear me , and they forgot i was in the forest, they barked non stop, so i could not have done it nicely with parents around as they would come and look to see what the dogs were barking at... But after all that it was 1 hours fun, 5 hours pain of washing and then ducking from parents encase they spot a bit of unwashed paint.If they werent arround i would have not bothered to much...
 

 
 

Proof it's a Dude!

Look carefully at the below picture, especially the last row...

Click for large.
Look familiar? It's Zana's "Vagoo"! lol.

Zana's Reality

Tucking it!?

"Here I took a few photos of myself in Elvin form, I did get some assistance by some fairies, however they were to shy to be in the photos, they just held the camera for me. The day, well I was alone at home, no one was around, and I thought I would finish off my Elvin experience scene and render it, but I heard the dogs barking at the forest. It was an friend I had not seen for a long time, an Elvin friend, who was a tree elf called Adaron.

Well she came up to the house dripping in mud, screaming my name out with joy, I came rushing outside to meet her, she ran to me with her arms open, and we collided together in each others arms and gave each other a long kiss. I told her she must wash up before coming into the house, and she let me know I am in my true Elvin form. She took all my clothes off and drew on my body and tickled me at the same time once we were in the house. She had never been in human house before, and felt sorry for me that I am living with humans.And gave me a hug, two fairies came in through the window and tickled our ears, and one picked up the camera so she could take photos of me so I can show the world what I look like in my Elvin form around the elves.

We watched TV and played with each other and sang with songs I have on my computer, when she saw some web cam photos of myself with green skin, she offered to turn my skin green, as she prefers green skin. And she took photos of me in my green skin, it was so fun. Then we played in the garden and was very sensual, we became sweaty and her skin produced lots of oil, and her magic made mine also. She then invited me to her house, and she offered me to stay the night in her home. She took a few photos of me in my wet oily skin, and then we gave the camera to a fairy who took some photos of the forest which I am not allowed to show you, but will use what I saw in my artwork.

A job would just cut into Zana's hanging around the house drawing on herself time.

We finally reached her house which was in the middle of the swamplands within the forest. The typical conditions for a mud elf and most elves, however some elves are like humans who prefer dryness. Humans would find the conditions unbearable. The house roof was kind of low, so one had to crawl around in the many rooms. She said this was not the inside of her house, but merely the entrance. The way to get in the house was let it pull us in through the mud, and to get in we would have to wait for the house...The house is a living creature. While we were waiting we played and kissed in the mud, then I felt tentacles like earthworms come out of the mud and wrap around us and into us while we were in our height of intimacy.

Once we were pulled in the house walls were organic, and pulsing, and glowing, it felt if I was in some fat, deformed earthworm. I saw many other elves here too, and the way they came in and out, was like how earthworm feeds. The house is a giant worm. Here I got to meet many elves, and we ended up all falling asleep laying on top of each other... then when I woke up I found myself lying in the garden... not knowing if I will meet my friend again, I am sure I would. I do see her eyes glowing from the forest at night and I know she wants to come, she is waiting for me to be alone again and take me into her home again.

Its so amazing to see that all Elvin things they make are living and alive and magical, they don’t destroy something to build something dead, yet, if they have to occupy some space, they create an alternative for the environment where the Earth, and its creature live in harmony with the elves so well, that they exist without being noticed, amazing. If you look at an unusual large tree hard enough, you will probably see an elf lying on it, or it could be a doorway into an Elvin home and you can open the door by having certain thoughts on your mind, thoughts of love and touching the tree in a specific way.

Love ya lots Zana ((^_^))"

The Quest for Gainful Employment

You can find this on Zana's website just one click away from her public resume which we must assume she links to in trying to find respectable work. Also hugbox.
Almost all of the ambiguously named menu items on Zana's site lead to pics of her nude green ass
You too could pay Zana real money for quality web work like this!

After her giant wangstfest in Complaints, Zana made some follow up posts in TARTland's emo Life forum about how hard it is to find a job. Zana apparently aspires to a work-at-home internets job in web design and lists her hilariously exaggerated skills on her public resume which is located on her shitty personal site that looks like it belongs in a time capsule from 1994.

It's possible that Zana's failure at finding gainful employment may stem from the fact that the same personal site that presents her resume to possible employers is also littered with photos of herself naked, covered in mud and leaves, crawling through the swamps of South Africa. Clearly, she seeks very liberal employers.

Though, Zana's employment objectives, experience and background are somewhat nontraditional, she has big plans for her future career:


   
 
My objectives are to work for the improvement of life on Earth whether I am employed to work in the field of IT and computing or work in field of zoology or working in the field or art and entertainment.
 

 
 

Unfortunately, Zana's resume puts her at a disadvantage in the competitive job market by expounding on pointless filler such as marital status, high school clubs, hobbies as well as her stamp collections and pen pals. Further tarnishing her semblance of professionalism are the large breasted nude elves that serve as dividers between such sections as employment experiences and skills. Thus having created a permanent state of joblessness for herself, Zana is left with the tear-jerking dilemma of choosing between trannie hormone treatment meds or keeping up with her pay-per-bandwidth-usage internet connection that most civilized nations moved past in 1991.

Reaction to This Article

   
 
That isnt freedom of speech thats harrasment ! What about other people who are sensive and there art is the only thing they have like me who would have done what i done also because of you reporting devations, harrasing deviants... and other people elsehwre on the web , like live journal, myspace etc etc..

Please stop this, you dont know what you doing... so you ruined myspace, caused suicides deaths and now you come and ruin deviantart?? why? Now i know where the report sporters and harrasment pesty flies came from...
 


 
 

——Zana, Incoherent BAAAAAW

Elfy Gallery ((^_^))


FUCK YOU I'M AN ELF!!1


Quotes

Zana is very familiar with the collective rectum.


   
 
I never hide my comments as I am open as a book...
 

 
 

——Zana, Well you heard the trap, would she ever change her mind?


   
 
Also i sensed that Some visitors from space are comming to the US...next month I wont tell more...All I can say is LEARN TO LOVE...and Planet Earth will connect to the Universe, if the whole thing works out well, next year we all can have a holiday on Mars or even further where our Art normally fortells.
 

 
 

——Zana, Psychic about UFOs now.


   
 
I am a dark elf because of my skin tone
 

 
 


   
 
Deviantart in the past was free, deviants and such had no problems with nudity,and sensualness ... conformists and of course the US government and officials came along and did not like things... and since things are a little lob-sided to the conformist's point of view (due to political reasons) they put pressure on deviantart. As deviantart is not a single site, and it strives to exist because YOU and me fuel it, and is a massive "PLANET-WIDE" community of artists who have different views, life styles, way of life, genetic structure, human or non human etc all in this pool of diversity crammed on US servers in the past daubed as the "collective rectum(humourous name for the servers&hardware)" don't know what it is called now, just deviantart servers i guess.
 

 
 

——Zana, She knows conspiracies.


   
 
Well I know physically i dont look like one in your world, but when i go in mine I am an elf, and under this skin in my heart I am elvin souled with love and warmth... and sensitive..
 

 
 

——Zana, she's very sensitive.


   
 
Mother: Rachelle :Musician, Housewife, Teacher, Librarian, Father: Brian : Musician,Electrical Engineer, Lecturer
 

 
 

——Zana, Beatnik parents explain so much.

See Also

External Links

...let's face it: not even the internet wants "her"!

Portal da.png

Zananeichan is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

Zananeichan
is part of a series on
Otherkin
FYIAD.jpg
VampiresHumanoidsReptilesThe RestSee Also
Click topics to expand