ZeldaOnline

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Ripped-off sprites is a must for Zelda Online.

Zelda Online is a fan-made MMORPG filled with elves and AIDS, created by a retarded pedophile named Wayne. When Anonymous realized ZO was nothing but a shitty BYOND game programmed in Visual Basic with high potential for lulz, it was posted on Ebaum's World with the intent to raid the Zeldafags, due to the high amount of AIDS in the forest. Shortly after the raids began, the admins made a new version which had a virus embedded inside that fucked up anyone's computer who downloaded it. Unwittingly, Wayne ended up fucking over his own players instead of Anonymous, most of whom were fags from Newgrounds who now want to file legal action on Wayne. This is a perfect example of why you should never fuck with Anonymous or sacrifice your users for revenge.

Link to the Past

Sometime last Thursday, Zelda Online was proposed for a raid. It was a Habbo Hotel of sorts as characters in game were solid objects, and therefore could be used for blocking the forest. Raiders chanted "forest is closed due to elfaids! You must contribute Jewgolds for research to cure the elfaids before we can open it again!", until they in fact, received in-game money from genuine players. At that time, they continued to block the forest. After much blocking, admins started banning people. Unfortunately for them, you could just make another fucking account as many times as you wanted. All was going well until the server started failing because the game is incredibly well made. After losing all of the 2 members Zelda Online had, Wayne started to be a fag and added block features to his next update of the game despite the fact everyone already fucking left.

Sabotage in the land of Hyrule

Wayne attempting to trick Anon.

After finding out the source of the attacks, Wayne attempted to throw off his tormentors by uploading a trojan called "AdminCP.exe" to his server then linking it in the raid thread for idiots to download. Unfortunately, Anon is not as dumb as he thinks, since the ".exe" proves its a blatant fucking lie.

He later put a virus into his own fucking game. Infecting some Anons and regular users alike making their computers unusable. Outraged, members started threatening legal action against Wayne for fucking up their computers and losing irreplaceable data.

Newgrounds member's copypasta

Incest butthurt.


   
 
I don't know what I'm going to do... Was it Wayne? I don't know who it is, but.. whoever it is... If it is you, Wayne, be sure to lock your doors at night.

The minimum I'll do is dissect every piece of you, starting with your feet. Don't worry, I'll make sure to apply medicines that will clot your blood so you are alive during the process. I'll be sure to keep some ammonia salts nearby, so I can keep you awake. I'll start by removing the teeny tiny little pieces of toe-bones, I'll need needle nose pliers to make sure I yank them from the base. We don't want any chunks left behind, no we don't. Then up to the tendons and muscles of your feet, slowly pulling the tendons, giving you burning blinding pain that sears up your entire calf, until it snaps. I'll take a small fork or spoon and make sure to get the tip of your muscle, 'cause we wouldn't want to accidentally break the muscle, and twirl the fork all the way up to your knee, revealing more blood vessels and muscle to play with!

The kneecap poses a probel, but I suppose I'll simply get a hammer and break it into teeny-tiny little pieces of bone. We wanna make sure that the bone is removed from muscle, first, so I'll apply pressure with my palm and be sure to move around the pieces in the socket, just in case. Up at the thigh, I'll part all the muscle and fats until I get to the bone, where I'll simply take a drill and find out what color marrow really is. I've heard red, but we can't be too sure. At your pelvis, well, I'll most likely take some of your tendons from your feet that I snapped earlier, thin and thread it through a needle, and sew your anus shut. Why not the penis too? We don't want things to get messy, since we're gonna be here a good long time, right? That's a good boy.

So, afterwords, I'll make sure your hip is firmly against a solid object, and use a mini-sledgehammer to see how resistant the human hip is. Some people say it's one of the strongest bones in your body, but we'll see, wont we? Ahhh, now all good things have to come to an end, so I'll prolong our fun by skipping your stomach and abdomen by moving over to the arms! We'll have to get rid of those fingernails, though, since they carry dirt and other germs we don't want. Wouldn't want any wounds to get infected! That'd be bad.

Now I'll take the needle nose pliers and begin to remove each finger, one bone at a time. If they're stubborn, I'll simply smash them with the mini-sledge until they come out nice and easy. I'll leave the writsts alone, but I will hook a small razor around your tendons on the sides of each. Idle hands, you know. Getting to the middle arm, I've always wanted to see someone with a piercing going between their radius and ulna. Let's go ahead and remove all of the stuff between those! Look! You can see my fingers on the other side! Pretty neat!

Now we get to the upper arm, almost to the shoulder. Well, this always hurts when you think about it, so let's make sure we do it right, okay? First, I'll take that razor, dig it into the spot on your elbow where the bones meet and keep digging and pulling until I get that satisfying snap. That'll make sure no nerves send the arm flying, but you'll still feel everything, don't worry. Now, I'll make another small cut across the inside of the upper arm, and use the fork from before to peel all that nice, soft, warm sensitive skin all the way to your armpit. Some of it would be in the way, so I'll simply tear it off, leaving the end of the nerves screaming with joy.

Now the face. I've always wondered what a human would look like without a jaw, but still be alive. I'll use the hooked razor between your jawbone and your skull, and gently pop it out, making sure not to prematurely rip any blood vessels or muscles. Don't worry, some will, but it will be a dizzying experience, for both of us, I'm sure. Now that I've disabled your jaw, I can apply heat from my soldering iron to carteurize your open blood vessels. Hey, it beats bleeding all over, right?

Well, you've got no jaw, so I guess your tongue is worthless. Using my hooked razor, I'll simply slide it under your tongue and as long as the length of your tongue goes down your throat. I'll tip your head forward, just to be sure you don't choke on the blood. We don't want the fun to end too quickly, do we? Naw, don't worry. I'll also caurterize the wound, just to be sure. The nose has always fascinated me with it's inner workings, so I'll insert the blade into one nostril, cut it close to the face, and peel it off the cartilage. My, you sure do look funny? Can one still smell? Oh well, I can't understand you without your tongue.

Well, the eyeball was once believed to be filled with a milky white liquid, but I dissected a goat's eye once and it was filled with a clear jelly? How similar is our anatomy? let's take a good look!

What's the matter? Oh, that's right, I've got your tongue! Ha-ha! Ahh, oh well, you have no sense of humor anyway. Hmmm, I suppose it's time for the finale. I read in a book that people of the old ways used to find out information through a dying person, male usually, by slicing his belly open nice and thin, and pulling out his intestines. Maybe I'll learn that you have loved ones who live nearby. Maybe I'll visit them! Oh, the laughs we'd have. But, we're drawing to a close. I'll neatly dissect and label everything, including your stomach, pancreas, liver, spleen, kidneys, intestine, and your lungs. What about the heart, you might be asking?

You don't have a heart you fuck. They can't find what doesn't exist, but I'll find that muscle you use for a replacement and put my hand gently around it. I'll feel the warmth of the pulsating muscle. I'll stare into your remaining eye as I gently apply pressure, causing insurmountable pain, then I'll keep squeezing until my fingers drive through the walls, twitching walls which attempt to pump life into a degenerate who doesn't deserve life, and I'll stare into your eyes as I watch your fear, your dread, your hopeless abadon, and finally your pathetic slip into oblivion.

But, like I said, that's just the minimum of what I'd do. There's alot more, but i've only got 2000 or so characters remaining.
 


 
 

—Kain-Ceverus 16 year old girl in disguise.

tl;dr: BAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Moving to Bel-Air

After realizing he'd fucked himself over and effectively lost ALL of his fans, Wayne edited his website claiming it as a new website for a faggy shooting game called Gunz. Little does he know that some of his former fans are looking to sue the ever loving fuck out of him for damages, and with plenty of evidence to back it up. He is pretty much screwed no matter what shitty game he attempts to make.

Revenge

Because Wayne is a faggot and forced many people to reformat their computers, his docs are being made public. This is a limited time offer, so get them while you can! Don't forget to tell Wayne you LOVE losing all your data, and don't forget to call every pizza delivery service, every stripper, every funeral home, every fucking plumber in his little town and tell them to come over ASAP.

loldox

External Links

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ZeldaOnline is part of a series on MMORPGs. [Gratz!Ding!]
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Age of ConanAnarchy OnlineCity of HeroesConquer OnlineDark Age of CamelotDarkfallEarth EternalEVE OnlineEverQuestEverQuest IIFinal Fantasy XIFinal Fantasy XIVFree RealmsHero OnlineLifeMapleStoryMinecraftPangyaRagnarok OnlineRuneScapeRuby Dragon EntertainmentSilkroad OnlineStar Wars: The Old RepublicTabula RasaToontownUltima OnlineWikipediaWorld of WarcraftWWII Online

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