From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Garfield is the name of:
- Garfield by Jim Davis, a chronically unfunny comic strip.
- Garfield: The Movie, directed by Peter Hewlett, a completely unfunny movie.
- Garfield and Friends, an unfunny Saturday morning cartoon show for kids.
- James A. Garfield, a chronically unfunny President of the United States. 
The comic strip, movie, and television show are all about a fat lasagna-crazed pu55y. The plot never thickens. Due to its extremely high level of unfunny, Garfield is a frequent target of Photoshoppers. Some believe Garfield is a rehash of "A Christmas Carol" with Garfield as Scrooge and Nermal as Tiny Tim.
The comic itself started in 1978. Its birthdays are celebrated every year in Davis' stories, yet that fucking cat doesn't want to die anyway. Some argue that this is a proof of Garfield's superpowers, although in fact it's only one of many scientifically proven idiotic ways of ticking the day off for an author. Just like other classical hilarious jokes like "I hate mondays", "Where is my fuckin' food", "Kill a Spider Week" etc.
Below is a list of a typical Garfield jokes:
- Garfield loves himself.
- Garfield hates mondays.
- Garfield is eating.
- Garfield is sleeping.
- Garfield is cynical.
- Garfield is killing spiders.
- Garfield is watching TV.
- Garfield is drinking coffee.
- Garfield is not chasing mice.
- Garfield is trying to do performance on a fence.
- Garfield is screwing over Jon / Odie / Nermal / mailman.
- Garfield is screwed by a talking bathroom scales.
- Garfield is dating Arlene.
- Garfield is stuck in a tree.
- Garfield is speaking with a teddy bear.
- Garfield is travelling to some rathole.
- Jon is trying to get laid.
- Jon constantly fails at getting laid.
Lorenzo Music (AKA: voice actor of Garfield) doesn't suck by proxy. He in fact, owned.
GarfieldTools (comic strip creator)
GarfieldTools, the Garfield comic strip creator, is used to create funny and inappropriate automatically generated comic strips using the Garfield art and allowing a user to insert their own text.
Traditional or typical GarfieldTools conceits
- Garfield can go crazy-eyed, and has the power to make Jon go crazy-eyed. Sometimes he does this in order to make Jon into his slave, but mostly to make Jon STFU:
- Usually when Garfield doesn't say anything, Vulgar Jon makes up for it by being even more creepily perverted than he already was:
- Garbuckle or Garfield-Jon exists in a state of superposition, like the homeless Jerry Garcia-dog hybrid from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This is more likely part of Jon and/or Garfield's terrified realization that one is obviously hallucinating the other:
This also confirms that Garfield is a faggot popper user.
MS Paint Time
Another method of making Garfield funny is simply editing Garfield out, thus making Jon look like a crazy fuck. Go Crazy. One fellow started by editing out only Garfield's thought bubbles, making Garfield act more like a "normal" cat. Another went further, edited out Garfield entirely, and actually published a book about it. what the fuck?
Garfield minus Arbuckle
Garfield minus Garfield minus Jon
Taken one step further:
Garfield Minus Garfield Minus Jon Minus Backgrounds
And to the logical extreme:
Garfield minus Garfield plus Shoop Da Woop
During the Web 1.0 days, newfags discovered several strips created by Jim Davis in the late '80s that suggested that Garfield had actually been dead for many many years. Jon and Odie had moved away; the house was abandoned and derelict; and his spirit perpetuated there in some kind of existential nightmare-like limbo.
Unfortunately, said newfags were fucking idiots as it was actually a nightmare of everyone Garfield relies on being taken away. To this day people people still ask Jim if he intended this strip to be Garfield's death, which pisses him off no end. So keep it up everyone and maybe he'll rage quit!
The truth is Jim did it because he hates Garfield and he hates his retarded fucking fans and just wanted to quit making this awful comic already. But he backed out at the last minute like a bitch. That is why when he met the guy that does "Garfield Minus Garfield" and saw what a depressing mess he had turned his comic into he gave him a big thumbs up.
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